Ever Seeking
by My Writing Is This
Summary: Freedom. I never thought the day would come. But that's what I was. Free. Only there were still struggles to be had. Our servitude may be over but our fight had just begun. Separated from my love and my family, I had to fight to find them, and I was going to have to fight to keep them. The war had begun. I was ready to fight. Ready to protect those I love. No matter the cost.
1. Beginning Anew

_**Chapter One: Beginning Anew**_

Life seemed to have taken a completely different turn than I could have ever expected. I was free. _Free_. The word itself seemed too immense. I never thought I'd feel what true freedom was. Yet here I was, in a lavish villa, given everything I'd ever need and more. No longer would I ever be a possession to be owned. No longer would I feel the sting of repression. My voice held meaning and I was eager to use it for the cause I believed in. The cause that Spartacus had started. The Bringer of Rain continued to elude capture, killing Romans at every turn. I would do everything in my power to further his cause and rejoin him once again. I listened for any whisper of him and the gladiators he fought with. His safety and those who fought with him were a constant in my mind. My only desire was to find them and one again be reunited with my love. Varro. It had taken weeks to fully heal; even now there were scars that I would carry for the remainder of my life. Scars that would tell my story. I wasn't ashamed of them. Each scar on my back was a reminder of the love I felt for one man. A man I pined for whose whereabouts was yet unknown. They had kept themselves well hidden, frustrating me and filling me with a sense of guilt that I had yet to find them, all the while living with a rich Roman who was eager to give me anything I pleased. Anything to keep me under his wing.

Standing in front of a mirror, I felt as if I was betraying the ones I loved most. Varro. Spartacus. Crixus. Naevia. Mira. Even Agron and Duro. All of them were living as fugitives and here I was in a beautiful home, safe, and having found people who cared about me, who I cared about in return. For as much as my life had changed, it had become far more complicated than I could have dreamed. Feeling obligated to people other than the ones that I longed to be reunited with. Every day I woke with the intention of leaving, going and finding my love and the others. And every morning I found another reason to stay. Caius. Felix. Antonia. There was always a reason to stay even if there were just as many reasons to go. But I couldn't bring myself to betray the people who now looked to me for answers. Answers I didn't have. Caius was the Roman and yet they were looking to an ex-slave for the answers they sought. I didn't have any answers. All I had was a pulling inside of me that would lead me to the ones whose arms I was ripped from. I would find Spartacus and I would help him. At the moment, I would help him by bringing numbers. I would have something to offer when we were finally reunited. I would be useful. I would be needed. And I would be home.

Standing in a beautiful peach colored stola - a gift from Caius - I stared at my reflection. Something I still couldn't get used to. I wasn't the same girl I used to be. I'd lost several pounds in the weeks I'd been with Paulus and my appetite had never fully returned. Many things had changed and my reflection was one of them. If it weren't for Caius I wasn't sure I'd be as whole as I was. He had spent many nights sitting and talking to me to calm me when nightmares plagued my mind. It was weeks before I willing allowed anyone to touch me. My skin still felt fragile. Paulus had taken much from me but I made myself a promise that I would not let him break me. The memories of my time with him only fueled the fire inside of me to destroy the Romans. Other than the man I loved, there was only one trustworthy Roman and he was my protector and my provider. Caius had given me everything I could ever want, all without prompting or desire. He had given me many gifts since he rescued me from the clutches of a mad man. I attempted to repay him for the kindness he had shown me. For providing for myself and all the others rescued from Paulus and all those I took under my care. I felt as if I truly was giving something back. But my freedom was something I could never repay him for.

Continuing to stare, I took in my features for what felt like the first time. My brown hair was partially braided; the braids intertwined in a knot at the back of my head, the rest of my hair lay in curls down my back and over my shoulder, different from the heavy waves it naturally lay in. My green eyes, cheeks, and lips accented with powder and paints. I felt beautiful. More beautiful than I ever had before. I couldn't help by smile at my reflection, feeling like a woman of note, worthy of the love of a man like Varro. I hated that I loved the feeling, erasing my smile and vowing to never don a Roman garb again once I was reunited with my family.

"Lea." Caius's voice said from the doorway. "You look stunning."

"It's only to further help the Rebel cause." I told him, pushing all thoughts of my appearance from my mind. "I must look the part if I'm to get any answers from Romans."

"I know." He said coming up behind me, rubbing my arms as he looked at my reflection over my shoulder.

"You're a good man." I told him.

"Not good enough." He said sadly, turning away from me.

"Caius, don't start this again." I frowned, following him from the room. "How many times must we go through this? I cannot give you what you want."

"Just part of you would be enough." He told me sadly.

"Caius." I repeated, gripping his hand so he would stop walking away from me. Turning, I took both his hands in mine, making him meet my eyes. "We've been over this and over this. Why do you always try and make me feel guilty about my choice? I chose him long before I met you. It's not fair for you to hold him over my head. You know I love him and nothing will ever change that."

"You can love more than one person." He stated.

"You're right, I can and I do." I told him. "I love you, Caius. But the love I feel for you isn't as strong as the love I feel for him. Not by half. Why do you make me say things that will hurt you?"

"To keep my own feelings in check." He said and placed a kiss against my forehead.

Wrapping my arms around him, I buried my face in his shoulder. He was always making me hurt him. I felt guilty every time. I owed him my life and my freedom. He'd done so much for me and I couldn't give him what he wanted. I never would be able to give him what he wanted. I worried for his state of mind. I didn't want him waiting for something that was never going to happen. I could never feel for him the way he wanted me to. I just hoped he'd stay the same Caius I'd grown to love. For I did love him. I simply wasn't _in_ love with him. Nor would I ever be. Not in this lifetime or any that follows.

Going to market, I hoped to catch a whisper of Spartacus and where he may be. We had yet to come close to where he was. Part of me wanted to send a message in some way but I didn't know how to do it without alerting someone who shouldn't know. Only I wasn't only looking for Spartacus. I also listened for any mistreating of slaves. I had freed several since I'd been with Caius. Weeks had gone by and we weren't any closer to Spartacus than we had been when I was rescued. Over a month had passed since Spartacus started his rebellion. I was eager to see him again and I longed to be in Varro's arms. To feel his touch. His kiss. To drown in the blueness of his eyes. Though part of me worried about what I would find once I was reunited with them. I was unsure of how Varro would recover from the death of his wife. But it didn't matter. No matter the state he was in I would be there for him. I would be with him for the rest of my life. All I had to do was return to him.

"I don't care about what you've done. I only care about what you're doing." I said coldly to a brothel owner.

"You cannot come here and tell me how to run my business." He replied venomously.

"Look at her!" I yelled at him, pointing at the slave in question, a young woman badly beaten, still shaking from the shock of what happened to her. "She has been severely mistreated and you simply let it happen because you want the coin given for her."

"Yes, men pay and she does their bidding." He said blandly.

"At what cost!" I yelled. "She is terrified and you could care less!"

"She is here to pay off a debt. What happens to her while she accomplishes that is not my concern."

"You son of a bitch." I said calmly before striking him across his face. "Come." I said holding my hand out to the girl; she tentatively reached out for it before the man gripped my wrist. "Release me." I told him coldly.

"She has a debt to pay off." He told me.

Pulling out a small bag of coin, I threw it in his face. "This will cover whatever debt she has. With interest." I told him coldly before gripping the girl's wrist and ushering her from the brothel.

Swiftly moving through the market, I put her in the coach before I turned to look for Caius. When he finally came into sight, he was moving toward me with purpose. "What did you find?" I asked him eagerly.

"They've moved south." He told me.

"Where?" I asked with furrowed brows.

"I'm not sure. But I know its south." He replied. "Did you have any luck?"

"Another slave girl." I replied sadly.

"Lea, if you keep freeing slaves we're not going to have any other choice but to join the Rebels." He stated with a hint of annoyance. "That and you're going to spend all my coin." He added with a smile.

"Apologies." I told him putting my hand on his chest as I stepped closer to him. "I couldn't do any of this without you."

"It's not as if I mind." He smiled putting his hand over mine.

"Stop that." I said shoving him gently. "Now let's get our newcomer home and then we'll see what's in the south."

Nodding, we both stepped into the coach and we were once again on our way home. Once we were at the villa, I set Antonia to the task of tended to our newest member, bathing and clothing her, making sure she received a good meal. Moving through the halls I made sure everyone was cared for, personally seeing to the ones that weren't. Caius's villa was bigger than any I've been in before but was less extravagant than even my old home. He was a simple man, never arrogant in what he owned or did with his life. He was truly rare among Romans. He had become an ally and friend I cherished above all others I was currently with. He was kinder than anyone I'd ever met and was gracious with his resources in order to assist me.

Because of his generosity, our home had become crowded as of late. We'd run out of beds for everyone to sleep on weeks ago. Purchasing cushions for those who had to sleep on the floor. Caius was gracious enough to provide enough food and water for all, never a night passing without full stomachs. He even provided enough clothes for everyone's backs with some to spare. He never hesitated to offer his coin and belongings to the men, women, and even children that now shared his home. He truly was amazing in every way.

Having given my own away, I now resided in Caius's chambers, though it was not my first choice. It took time for me to be comfortable sleeping in the same bed with another man, feeling guilty every night when Caius took his place next to me. Wanting my love there, not him. Though he was ever the gentleman, never more than an accidental brush of flesh against flesh. He never once attempted to escalate our relationship – not physically – making my respect for him grow. He was constantly saying things he shouldn't but he never acted on them. And after everything he'd done for me I let him get away with more than I should have. It was as if I held him on a pedestal, only it was one of respect. He held me on a pedestal as well, only it was one of safety and future possibility. Only I would never be able to give him what he wanted. The only way it would happen would be if Varro was no longer of this world. Even then, I would be so damaged that what was left wouldn't be worth having.

"I'm exhausted." I told him as we lay in bed.

"You've had a busy day." He replied sleepily.

"South only has villas before the mines. Do you think that's where they're heading?" I asked.

"I do not know." He replied. "If that's where they're headed, it far from all the Romans they so desperately want to kill. They're searching for something."

"Or someone." I frowned.

"You?" He asked looking at me.

"Or another." I said looking back at him.

"Who?"

"I'm not sure." I replied. "There is only one that a gladiator would go to the ends of the earth for."

"Naevia." He said sadly.

"If anything has happened to her…" I said as tears filled my eyes. I draped my arm across my forehead.

"She's all right." Caius said propping himself up on his elbow, looking down at me. I nodded at him. "Varro as well." He added as a tear slid from the corners of my eyes. "I promised I would return you to him. I will not break that promise."

"Gratitude." I said my voice thick with emotion, before wrapping my arms around his neck.

Resting himself on top of me, I hugged him tightly as I felt his arm move around me. Sitting up, pulling me with him, he held me firmly against his chest as I cried for the people I loved, silently praying that I would be with them again soon.

Come morning I was bent over a map of the south, continuing to weigh each possibility in my mind of where they were heading. According to Caius, I couldn't simply get on a horse and run till I found them. There had to be some sort of plan or I would be sure to fail. Not only that but I had a following starting in the villa. I had saved the majority of the salves under our roof and most wanted to repay the favor by joining the Rebels. We were thirty strong now and they were eager to spill as much Roman blood as Spartacus had.

"What news?" I asked Caius when he'd returned from town. He shook his head. Sighing, I nodded at him. "I've sent messengers to these three villas." I told him pointing them out on the map. "They are to make simple inquiries to try and find out if anyone from Batiatus's house passed through or if the villa has been captured by Spartacus."

"We'll find them." He said gently rubbing my back.

"When?" I asked throwing my pen onto to map. "When will we find them? When will we leave here and _try_ to find them? When, Caius, when?!" I finished; my voice now a yell.

"Lea?" Antonia said gently.

"Apologies." I smiled at her. "What is it?"

"Two more slaves have joined us." She said gently. "Two that are quite unexpected."

"How so?" I frowned.

"Two gladiators have come calling, having left their home without their masters' knowledge." She replied.

Swiftly moving from the room, I rushed toward two figures in the entryway. Slowing, I took in our newcomers. Both were dirt covered, wearing nothing but subligarias and tattered cloaks around their torsos. One was German, tall and very well built. His short hair and clean shaven face showed his chiseled features. The curve of his jaw reminded me of Paulus, making him look that much more intimidating. He was hardly scarred except for one across his left eye, making it appear that he may be blind in it. The other was even taller, leaner but looked as deadly as any gladiator. His hair was long, falling just past his shoulders, pulled partially back. I should have been more nervous than I was, yet only excitement filled me, for they were the first gladiators to join us. If there was one thing I knew about it was gladiators. After my many experiences under my former masters I felt as if I knew the ways of gladiators more than the common house slave. My heart soared at the sight of them, feeling like we were finally making progress.

"Welcome." I smiled at them. "We are more than pleased to have you join us."

Both held serious expressions, though a smile broke across the face of the taller who swiftly embraced me in a hug. "Gratitude, Lea." He told me with a smooth voice.

"We've been waiting weeks to slip away to join you." The German told me with a husky voice.

"I am Lucius." The other smiled.

"Otho." The German added.

"Gratitude." I beamed at them. "Please, come eat, drink, bathe and rest. You will not be without while under this roof."

"No guarantees once we leave, eh?" Lucius smiled.

"Once we leave there are no guarantees of anything." I smiled back.

"Gratitude for the hospitality." Otho told me as he looked around.

"Come." I said starting to lead them through the villa. "We're mainly house slaves here. We have two healers as well and a handful of body slaves, but we're making do."

"From what we've heard you're doing better than just making do." Lucius told me sweetly. "With the help of one Roman."

"Caius Laelius Sulla." I smiled fondly. "He may be Roman but he's our biggest ally. He's provided everything and more for those who are here."

"Have you heard anything about Spartacus?" Otho asked.

"Whispers. But the only concrete facts we have is that he's moved south." I replied.

"Why?" He frowned.

"The reason is yet unknown." I stated. "But your arrival has made me eager to set out. I feel as if your presence will motivate those who are afraid. It's hard to keep spirits high when they have only ever known them to be ground under heel."

"We will do everything in our power to assist." Lucius told me with seriousness.

"It is much appreciated." I said putting my hand on his arm.

"Do you know when we are to depart?" Otho asked.

Shaking my head I replied, "No." The German nodded before moving off, Lucius following him, smiling as he put his hand on my arm as he walked away. In the next moment Caius was at my side. "They are with us." I smiled up at him.

"They will be an asset to our little rebel group." He said putting his hand on my back.

"Yes, they will." I said with a hint of giddiness. "It's all coming together. We should set out soon."

"And go where?" Caius asked with a hint of annoyance.

Turning to him, I frowned, "I feel as if you're purposely stalling our departure."

"Where are we going to go?" He asked again.

"South." I frowned. "They are down there somewhere and I want to be with them." I said going from the edge of anger to sadness. "I know you want to keep me safe in your home but my home is with Varro and Spartacus and Naevia and Crixus. They are my family. My heart calls to them and I wish to be reunited with them. Sooner rather than later." He clenched his jaw and nodded at me before quickly walking away from me. "Caius." I called after him.

I hated hurting him but he seemed to almost force the words out of my mouth. He always said things that led me to reply with words that were going to hurt him. He knew my desires. He knew my plan and yet he still found a way to make me stay. If Spartacus was south then we would move south. If a band of rebel gladiators could travel unseen then we could as well. I simply needed one more piece of confirmation and I would be gone. With or without any accompaniment.


	2. Impatience

_**Chapter Two: Impatience**_

Walking the market, my days had become a monotone of whispers and caretaking. Even now I hoped to hear more about Spartacus and the rebels but it seemed they were just as far away as they always have been. Not knowing what was happening to them was taking their toll on me. I was starting to resent Caius and everything he's given me. He had promised me that we'd leave to join the rebels. Every day he promised and we were still at his villa. We were preparing for something that he was never going to let me do. Every step we took now felt weighted and pointless. All the while I felt as if the Roman was manipulating me. I knew he was a good man but the longer we waited, the longer I felt as if his intentions weren't as pure as I thought them to be.

Deep in thought, it took several attempts to get my attention before I realized that my name was being called. Turning, my jaw dropped as I took in my Domina. She looked very different than when I had seen her last. Adorning dark hair she looked kinder to me. There was something off with her. Something had happened and I was terrified to know what it was.

"Domina." I said with surprise.

"I am no longer your Domina." She told me.

"Calling you anything else feels improper." I replied with a small smile.

"Oh, Lea." She beamed. "You look marvelous."

"I'm free." I told her with a broad smile.

"You're free?" She said, her eyes welling with tears as if it were some miraculous news.

"Yes, I am free."

Taking my hands, she beamed at me, "I am so happy for you."

"Gratitude." I said, fighting the urge to say Domina after everything I said.

In the next moment she was embracing me. It was awkward and yet felt like something had fallen into place. Whatever happened to her had changed her in ways I would more than likely never know or understand.

"Lea." Caius's voice came from behind me.

"Caius." I said stepping away from my former Domina, feeling his hand move to my back.

"Caius Laelius Sulla." Lucretia smiled at the Roman. "Seeing you means you must be the one who freed her."

"I am." He told her. He looked at me, speaking with concern, "Are you all right?"

"Yes." I smiled up at him.

"What brings you to market?" Lucretia asked.

Smiling, I tried to think of something to tell her other than my need to join the rebels. Caius spoke before I could think of anything. "Lea now resides in my home. It's in desperate need of a woman's touch. We've come to make purchases to make our home feel more like the home we want it to be."

Lucretia simply smiled at us, "I'm very happy for you." Smiling at her, it quickly disappeared when she asked, "Have you forgotten Varro?'

My heart started to race and anger boiled at the mere thought that I would forget him. "No." I told her quickly. "I have not forgotten him. I simply can't find him."

"Yes, the Rebels have hidden themselves well." She told me, the familiar smile crossing her lips with a hint of the evil I knew that lurked within.

About to react with defensiveness, Caius wrapped his arm around my waist just as I took a step forward. "We should be going." He said and swiftly turned me around, moving me in the opposite direction. "Calm down."

"Apologies." I told him with furrowed brows, putting my arm around him.

"Are you all right?" He asked again.

"Yes." I nodded. "I just wasn't expecting to ever see her again."

"Then you'll be even less eager to see who's heading our way." He said stopping me.

Looking up I saw Ilithyia and her husband Gaius, now Praetor, walking toward us. My intake of breath was so quick my chest hurt. Caius swiftly swept me into an alley, flattening me against the wall with his body before pressing his lips to mine. Anger immediately filled me and I moved to shove him away only to have him pin my wrists to the wall. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ilithyia and Gaius approaching. Realizing what he was doing, I closed my eyes, kissing him back, mimicking his intensity. Though as soon as the pair was out of sight I forcefully shoved Caius away from me, biting his lip in the process before wiping my mouth as if I had tasted something foul. My anger returned full force, not only toward his actions but because the experience hadn't been unpleasant, a fact that worried me more than anything.

"That was nice." He said putting his knuckle to his lip, though a smile was on his face.

"I appreciate what you were doing however your means are far out of place." I shot at him.

"Apologies, Lea." He said honestly.

"Until Varro tells me otherwise, I am taken." I told him firmly. "Please never do that again. I'd rather be seen by them than be forced into uncomfortable situations."

"Apologies." He repeated.

"Let's go home." I said and started out toward the wagon.

"Can I make a comment?" He asked as he followed behind me.

"What?" I shot as I made sure to keep at least three paces ahead of him.

"For not being Roman or high class you are swiftly fitting into the lifestyle." He replied. Turning on the balls of my feet, he practically ran into me as we came face to face. "Lea." He frowned.

"If you ever call me Roman again I will leave the moment after." I said with an even tone, making the threat that much more meaningful. "You are the most honorable Roman I have ever met. I respect you and I care for you. More than most. But I am nothing like you. Everything I do I do to bring me closer to Varro and to Spartacus and to Naevia and Crixus. I have a family who I love and wish nothing more than to be reunited with."

"Lea." He said sadly.

"If we do not move out soon I will leave you and everyone else behind. I am tired of waiting. I am tired of letting them get further and further away from me while I sit here and make plans with no intent to follow. I demand action." I told him, my anger flaring. "I am done waiting." He nodded at me, making me turn and continue walking.

That night, I sat in bed hugging my knees to myself, watching as Caius got ready for bed. Undressing, leaving a thin robe of silk around his waist, I couldn't help but take in the firmness of his body. His muscles beautiful as they moved when he moved. Closing my eyes, I thought of Varro, remembering the feeling of his hands on me. The feel of his lips as he kissed me. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt Caius's hand against my shoulder, making me open my eyes and the tears slid down my cheeks.

"Apologies for any pain I may have caused you." He said softly. "You know I never want to see you in pain."

"I am in pain." I frowned at him. "I am in pain every day I'm away from the people I love. Why can you not see that? Why can't you see how much it hurts to stay here? Why are we spending so much time preparing when you never intended on us to leave?"

"It's not that I don't want to leave." He said gently. "I just don't want to be unprepared and wind up dead like so many others before us. We're nearly fifty strong with only two men other than me to keep us safe. Our odds are not good."

"I am not useless." I told him. "I've been watching for years and I know how to defend myself."

"Then show me." He said getting out of bed.

"What?" I frowned at him. "Caius."

"Show me what you know." He demanded, pulling two swords from the corner.

Looking at him, seeing his seriousness, I stood and face him with a raised brow. "Fine."

Tossing me a sword, I caught it by the handle, holding it as any woman would. Only I was feeling the weight of it. I'd known the best Doctore in all of Capua and years ago he was as eager to teach as he was to breath. Teaching even when he shouldn't. Teaching from request of favored friend. Facing me, Caius held his sword at the ready before quickly rushing me. At the last moment I brought the sword up and parried his blow, dashing to the side, leaving a shallow slit against his side. He turned and frowned at me as I stood with bent knees, the sword raised and ready if he should try again. He simply looked at me before he burst with laughter.

Relaxing, I smiled at him, "See? I'm not some useless woman."

"I can see that." He said looking at his wound.

"Here." I said grabbing cloth and the water that sat on a small table. "Sit." I said taking his hand and moving him to the edge of the bed. "Apologies." I told him as I cleaned and bandaged him.

"I wanted you to prove yourself. Though I must admit that I wasn't trying very hard." He smiled at me.

"I didn't think you were." I stated with a raised brow. "I know if I ever have to fight, it will be hard and wounds will be inflicted, but I'll do whatever I have to, to protect my family."

"I know you will." He said gently.

"Will we leave soon?" I asked him with the same tone.

"Yes."

"I mean it Caius. Will we?" I asked again.

"Yes." He repeated.

Leaning up, I took his head in my hands, placing a long kiss against his forehead before wrapping his head in my arms, pulling it against my chest. His hands found my hips, leaving a heavy sigh before he wrapped his arms around me.

Walking the halls of the villa, I set everyone to be ready to move at a moment's notice. None were as thrilled as Lucius and Otho for the impending move. They were eager to spill blood and I couldn't blame them. They would have their fill as soon as we left. The trick was to escape without suspicion. Fifty people randomly going down the road would draw attention. As it was most had been cooped up in the villa for weeks. We were lucky that no fights had broken out yet. Everyone seemed to know their place and the goal in mind. There was tension but everyone seemed to push it aside for the betterment of the group.

"Lea, may I break words with you?" Lucius asked.

"Of course." I replied. "Walk with me."

Walking the halls, I spoke to people as we passed, waiting for him to say something. It took us moving outside into the courtyard where we were alone for him to finally open his mouth and speak.

"Otho and I are eager to depart but are worried that our numbers will draw suspicion." He said with a more serious tone, one he rarely used with me.

"I understand your concerns, however we are not leaving without everyone who is here." I told him. "These people came to us for protection and I will not abandon them."

He smiled and nodded at me. "I assumed as much. We'll keep to the trees far from the known paths. The terrain may not be perfect but we'll be able to move south without being seen."

"I like the sound of that." I smiled.

"When do you think we'll depart?" He asked.

"Soon." I told him. "I wish I had a better answer than that."

"Not to be too bold but it appears Caius wishes to keep you here. I don't think he ever intended on leaving." He said gently.

"The thought has crossed my mind." I smirked up at him. "Only my heart belongs to another."

"Spartacus himself?" He grinned at me.

Laughing, I shook my head. "No."

"Then who?" He asked.

"His closest friend." I grinned up at him.

He laughed and shook his head. Together we walked the villa, double checking to make sure we would be ready. We had enough food and supplies to last us weeks on the road. We would learn to fend for ourselves. There were enough of us to be able to procure what we would need when the time came.

The day was growing late and yet I was restless within the walls of the villa. Draping a shawl across my shoulders, I moved toward the door, already having called a carriage to be brought. Stepping outside, I stopped and smiled as Caius stood leaning against the carriage door. Moving to him, looking up at him with a raised brow, he simply smiled back before opening the door for me, getting in behind me.

"Where to?" He asked.

"The Pits." I smiled at him.

"Stop!" He yelled to the carriage driver. "Are you mad?" He frowned at me. "Why would you want to go there?"

"Because it's the one place we haven't been." I told him. "It will give me peace of mind."

"You are mad." He stated but the anger was gone from his voice. Sighing, he rubbed his brow before stepping out of the carriage, "Wait a moment."

He left, returning moments later with Otho. "Hello, Otho." I smiled at him.

"You're mad." He told me.

"Perhaps." I told him. "But I will do it with or without accompaniment."

"Fine." The gladiator frowned before he took a seat across from me.

"Gratitude." I smiled at him.

Soon we were off, looking out the window as the countryside moved past. I knew what I was doing was mad, it truly was, but I was desperate to hear news of my love and would go to the ends of the earth until I saw him again. All I needed was one more whisper of their whereabouts and we would be on the move. Just one more. Just. One. More.

The Pits were crowded and loud with betting and fighting. Otho was ever wary of our surroundings and those who came too close to our little company. The smell of blood was in the air, the atmosphere thick with death and sex. The underclassmen came here to have their fill of bloodshed and mayhem. The ground was damp with blood, drink and cum. Fighting back the bile that was rising in my throat I moved through the crowd, looking for anyone familiar to me. Being pushed from both sides, I struggled through the crowd, seeing Duilius leaning against a wall. I knew him from the shadows in market. He was not a good man. He worked for profit and nothing more. He was like Ashur only when compared Duilius was the better man.

"Lea." He grinned when he saw me.

"Duilius." I smiled back, taking in his filthy attire, unkempt hair, and full form.

"What brings you to the gates of hell?"

"You know what I want." I told him my tone even though I still smiled at him.

"Always looking for word of the Rebels. You're lucky I haven't turned you in to the Praetor yet. He'd love to have you in his clutches."

"Yes he would." I nodded. "And yet you haven't."

"You're a slave girl." He stated leaning toward me. "I've sold many like you."

"And yet?"

"I've grown accustom to our little meetings." He replied.

Knowing that was as good an answer I would get, I nodded at him, "So, do you carry any news?"

"None." He said shaking his head. "Though you might find answers in the ring."

Turning toward the ring, crowded my people, I stood and started to push through them, my heart starting to race to see who was fighting. When I finally broke through, my eyes widened, my mouth open as shock moved through me. Lunging forward, I didn't make it two steps before I was grabbed, being pulled back, my mouth being covered before a name could cross my lips.

"Stop." Caius whispered in my ear.

"Let me go!" I yelled as the crowd started to roar. A victory had been had. "Is he alive?!"

"Lea, you need to calm down." He told me.

"Is he alive?!" I yelled again.

"You can't help him right now." Caius said holding me tightly.

"I need to go to him." I said pushing against him. "Please, Caius. He's family."

"We need to go." Otho said quickly wrapping his arm around my waist, practically pulling me up the stairs and to the carriage.

Pressed into a corner of the carriage, I sat with one bent knee, hugging it as I stifled my sobs with it. What I saw was horrible and fresh in my mind. His entire head and neck painted white, the color tapering to a point down his chest and back. Red mixing with it as blood fell from his mouth and the many wounds on his body. He looked defeated. He looked as lost as I felt. His life had fallen apart with the fall of the house Batiatus. Everything he knew had been shattered, driven to lengths he should never have had to go to. Caius attempted to comfort me but for the first time since he'd rescued me I didn't want his comfort. I wanted him as far away from me as possible. As soon as the carriage stopped I quickly removed myself from it, rushing around to the back of the villa where there was a small garden. A small fountain sat in the middle of it. Falling to my knees I sobbed.

"Oenomaus." I said as the image of him continued to plague my mind.

Hearing approaching footsteps, I didn't turn or acknowledge them. Antonia knelt next to me, remaining silent as silent tears fell. Taking my hand, she gripped it tightly, looking at me sadly. Finally meeting her eyes, I smiled at her, rubbing her hand. More footfalls filled the air and I looked over my shoulder. First there was Felix, smiling at him. The two gladiators were behind him, Caius, Nona, and a few others at the doorway. Meeting Caius's eyes, he looked wounded. Hardening myself I stood and looked at the fountain, taking a deep steading breath. Turning, I was about to address them when there was commotion from the villa, one of my messengers rushing out into the yard.

"I've found them. I know where they are." He announced.

My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure." He beamed.

A broad smile moved across my face, my heart racing with excitement. "We leave tonight."


	3. Departure

_**Chapter Three: Departure**_

The horses were readied and the supplies had been loaded. Swiftly moving through the villa, I made sure that we weren't forgetting anything, for we would never be returning to this villa. We either succeeded in our cause, creating a new life, or we would fall in our pursuit of it. I was most eager to leave. I'd never been more ready to leave. I'd spoken only when I must; making sure everyone was gathered at the back of the villa. We would go through the back and into the woods that surrounded the city.

"We leave within the hour." I called to those who had already gathered.

"Lea." Caius said following me as I walked.

"Not now." I told him.

"Then when?" He asked gripping my arm. "I need you to listen to me."

"What?" I asked him coldly.

"What if this is a mistake? What if your messenger was compromised?"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." I told him. "This is what I've been waiting for. I am going no matter what you say. If the others choose to follow me then so be it. If not then they can remain here."

"Perhaps I should stay behind and watch over them." He stated coldly.

He wanted me to ask him to come. To prove something to him that he was a fool to believe. "That is your decision." I told him before walking away.

"Wait." He said gripping my arm again. "Forgive me. I am out of line."

"Yes." I stated.

"You know I will follow you." He added.

"Yes." I repeated. He still looked as if he were wounded. "I'm going home, Caius. Nothing you say or do will stop me."

"I know." He nodded.

"Then let's move out." I told him.

Silence fell between Caius and me as we mounted and led our people from the villa, never to return again. We were both at the head of the company, keeping wary eyes in every direction that we could, Lucius and Otho at the rear, making sure nothing surprised us from behind. It wasn't surprising that we were met with no interruptions or unwanted soldiers; they had yet to take the Rebels as seriously as they should. Spartacus was a force to be reckoned with. It would be too late when they realized that. We moved at a steady pace, heading south to a villa that Spartacus and his men were said to be currently occupying. I could only hope that they were still there when we arrived. We would be there in just a matter of days if all went well, keeping well into the wood to keep hidden from those who might try and stop us.

"You need to speak with him." Antonia told me as we rode next to each other.

"What is there left to say?" I frowned at him.

"Make amends." She smiled.

"No." I told her. "I cannot reciprocate the feelings he has for me. I am in love with another. Caius is a wonderful man and I care for him deeply but there is no love in my heart for him."

"You do love him." She smiled. "Just not in the same way."

"Fine." I told her, rolling my eyes. "I do love him, but you speak the truth, not in the same way. He has become a very good friend. However, I wish nothing more than friendship with him."

"And he wishes otherwise?" She asked, her eyes falling upon the man of interest.

Finally understanding what was happening; I smiled at her, "I think he does. But perhaps it's just because he hasn't found something he favors more yet."

"Is there better than you?" She smirked.

"Your flattery is unfounded and unwanted." I told her firmly.

"Apologies." She said and averted her eyes.

"I've never thought highly of myself. I was a slave all my life until Caius entered it." I told her. "He may have freed me but the way I see myself has never changed."

"You are like no one I've ever met." She stated with a sense of awe.

"I am nothing of worth, Antonia." I frowned at her. "I wish everyone would see that. It brings me no joy to have anyone following me expecting great things."

"You are the reason we are all free to make such a choice." She stated softly. I continued to frown at her. "You have given us hope and a reason to fight against the Romans. We were held in servitude and you gave us freedom. That is something that no one can repay you for."

"There is no repayment needed." I told her with a deep frown on my face. "I only wish to be reunited with Varro and the rest of my family."

"And to fight." Felix interrupted, appearing on my other side.

"And to fight." I nodded. "Whatever Spartacus needs."

"Will you tell us about him?" Vita, the last slave girl I'd freed from the brothel asked from a small group who were walking alongside the horses.

She had recovered well from her injuries. She was one of the youngest we had among us. Her long dark brown hair hung in waves down her back and over her shoulders. Her eyes were hazel, clear, and inquisitive. She reminded me of myself when I was young. Only she was able to be herself, growing with every experience, learning from choices she made of her own accord. Smiling at her, I nodded, deciding where to start. They were already aware of how he came to be a slave and of his accomplishments in the arena. What they really wanted to know was of Spartacus the man, not the gladiator. They wanted to know what lies in his heart. Telling them of his compassion, of the love he carried with him, they were avid listeners. I told them of his kindness and the gentleness of his voice when he spoke. Also the hardness of it and the conviction he held when he spoke of things he believed in, or was defending something he cared for. We all knew he was an amazing fighter, but he was as equally amazing in everything he did. He was everything we needed to lead us into whatever end we met. He would be the one to raise us from perdition and lead us to a place where we could live out our days in peace, able to make a life for ourselves. Lastly, I told them of his loss, wanting them to know where he was coming from. It wasn't that he was captured and made slave, it was the capture of his wife and her untimely death that sprung Spartacus into action. She and she alone still held all of him. He would never feel for another the way he felt for her. She meant everything to him. I understood the feeling, though I wasn't nearly as eager to tell them about my own path, though it seemed as if they knew I was holding something back.

"He sounds amazing." Vita smiled.

"He is beyond amazing." I smiled back. "Every man should strive to be as he is."

"There are rumors that you seek a love that resides with the mighty Spartacus." A woman, whose name eluded me, spoke.

"What do the rumors say?" I asked.

"That every step you've taken has been to be reunited with him." She replied. "That the love you feel for him is untouchable and pure."

"I'm not sure how pure it is." I grinned, a blush rising in my cheeks. "But the rest is true. The man I seek is not only the love of my life but he is also the closest friend to Spartacus himself. However if my only plan was to be reunited with him I wouldn't have stayed as long as I have. I wouldn't have given a second thought to freeing anyone if I thought only of my personal feelings."

"Why did you stay then?" Another, a man I didn't know by name, asked.

"Because I believe in the cause that Spartacus started. After what happened to me I cannot stomach another slave being used as chattels. Being sold and being forced upon without a seconds pause. I believe in the man who saved me. I would not be here today if it weren't for Caius Laelius Sulla. I owe him everything and I only wish to share the feeling of freedom that he so willingly bestowed upon me." I replied with fondness.

All looked at me with soft smiles on their faces. Feeling my cheeks burn with another blush, I couldn't meet anyone's eyes, not even Antonia's or Felix's who'd known Caius and I the longest. Then there was soft murmuring when Caius appeared next to me, a smile on his face. Smiling at him, he reached his hand out. Not hesitating to take it, we shared a moment before we finally focused once more on the journey ahead of us. It was the amends that Antonia had wanted me to make. I may seem cold to him at times but everything I said was true and I believed it with all of me.

* * *

><p>Stopping to rest at the first villa we came to, Otho and Lucius scouted ahead only to come back to inform us that the villa had been raided and was now unoccupied. Quickly moving everything through the gates, we shut them, making sure they were secure before starting to relax for the night. It was quiet, able to hear everything around us. I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse, however stopping and being able to relax was a welcome feeling.<p>

"How do you fare?" Caius asked as we took the bed of the former masters of the house, opening blankets across the mattress.

"I'm tired." I told him. "But I am well." I added with a smile. "I'm relieved to finally be moving. We're one step closer to him. To them. My body feels like it's on fire with excitement and anticipation." He smiled but didn't say anything. "I'm happy you're here, Caius." I told him softly. "It really does mean the world to me."

"I made you a promise." He smiled.

"What are you going to do when we find them?" I asked him. "Are you going to stay?"

"I haven't decided yet." He replied honestly.

"Will you let me know when you do?" I asked with a sad tone. "I don't want you to surprise me with this kind of decision."

He straightened and looked at me. "Of course." He finally told me. "I've only ever been honest with you."

Smiling, I stepped around the bed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You've become one of my closest friends. I couldn't do this without you, nor do I want to."

"You'll think differently when you're back in Varro's arms." He said hugging me tightly.

"It will be different." I admitted letting him go. "But you are the reason I'm standing here today. Nothing can replace that."

Smiling, he put his hand against my cheek. Leaning into his touch I smiled back at him, though in the next moment Varro's face flashed in my mind, his blond curls, blue eyes, and his half smile that made my knees weak and all the right parts tingle for him. The memory made me frown and gently move his hand away from me. I missed Varro. I missed him more than I've ever missed anything.

"You'll be with him soon." Caius said taking my face in both his hands. "You will feel his touch and the taste of his lips. You will be happy and whole again." Nodding at him, I smiled, wrapping my arms around him, resting my head against his chest, letting him comfort me.

Sleeping little that night, I was up long before the sun, walking among the people who I was now the guardian of. I hadn't asked for this. All I wanted was to be reunited with Varro and yet I couldn't turn away from those who were the same as me. All these people had experienced different versions of what I had. They all looked to me for answers that even I didn't have. I was simply a slave who had a mind of her own. A slave who fell in love with a gladiator only to be torn from each other's arms. Standing on the entrance steps, I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my arm to keep away the morning chill. Soon there were footsteps as Otho appeared at my side.

"Cannot sleep?" He asked softly.

"No." I said shaking my head. "I am too eager to finally find them."

"Perhaps today is the day." He smiled down at me.

Looking up at him, I smiled, "And you can begin to spill the blood you so desperately crave."

"It is not just I who craves blood." He stated. "I sense even you would not hesitate to spill Roman blood."

"There are but two that are immune." I stated.

"Still plenty to go around." He smirked and rolled his shoulders.

Laughing lightly, we both turned and started to wake the house, the suns light starting to reach the horizon. Eating quickly, we were soon on the road. Keeping a moderate pace we moved on to the next villa, finding it in the same shape as the one we left, though the smell of burned flesh still lingered in the air from the pile of dead Romans. Stopping only to rest and drink, we were moving on to the next villa, hoping it was the one Spartacus and the others were hiding in. Only the next villa was empty, except for the bodies. Keeping everyone moving we came across a stream in the wood, stopping to let everyone rest and drink their fill, restocking our water supply in the process.

"We're getting closer, I can feel it." Lucius told me, squatting next to me as I refilled a canteen, looking out into the wood. "If they stayed a night at each villa we're closing the gap."

"And if they didn't?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "They are mainly gladiators. They're tolerance is much higher than the average slaves."

"Do you not think that he has freed the slaves of each villa he's taken?" He asked gently.

Smiling, I nodded at him. "I believe that he would."

"Then he may have more gladiators but I'm sure he has his fair share of house slaves as well." He added.

"Gratitude." I said standing, my eyes moving slowly across the wood.

"Otho and I were going to scout ahead, make sure the road is clear." He stated.

"May I accompany you?" I asked, feeling the need to be active.

"Of course." He smiled.

Learning much from my gladiator friend, I started to enjoy being on the run. Lucius had the patience to teach me many things, from tracking in the woods, to scouting, to hand to hand combat and the proper use of a sword. He taught me while everyone else rested and slept. Unable to rest myself I needed something to take my mind off of things. I needed a release. Needed something to wear me out so I could find a few hours rest before I woke everyone and moved out again. Caius didn't approve of my nightly antics with the gladiator but he never said anything. In my mind it would be smarter to know how to fight then be caught without a way to defend myself. I already knew the basics but Lucius helped refine it, making me capable of taking down a man even his size. All the while I was reminded how I was to never use these skills unless I had to. Apparently it was a common concern among us that the women be protected. I however was not going to stand for it. I would fight alongside my men whether they approved of it or not. They were aware of my intentions, making people nervous every time I set out to scout with the gladiators or even on my own. I was hungry for blood but I would never purposely put myself in danger while on my own. I wasn't looking for a death, I simply wasn't afraid of it either. Paulus made sure of that. I had wished for death while under his roof. Death had been my friend sitting beside me. Now that I was free I had something to live for. Something that I cherished and wanted to have and to hold for the remainder of my days, no longer wanting those days to end any time soon.

"There is talk among us that you're acting reckless." Caius told us as we were once again on the move. Frowning at him questioningly I waited for him to go on. "They don't think you should be leaving the group. Not only that but apparently I'm in the wrong for staying behind and letting you go. They'd be much happier if I went out there and you stayed here."

"You can offer more protection than I can." I stated.

"They've seen you with Lucius." He replied. "They're aware that you can defend yourself. It's enough for them."

"I'm no leader. They should not be so concerned about my wellbeing." I stated, not understanding why it would matter to them so much.

"To them you're their savior." He said sweetly.

"Do they not understand that without you none of this would be possible? I would have died a slow agonizing death had you not freed me. If that had occurred then they too would still be in servitude." I replied harshly. "I do not wish anyone to look at me as anything other than their equal or their friend. I am not going to lead these people into battle or even to somewhere safe. I am simply leading them to the one man who will be their leader. The one man who will see to their safety and in making sure that they remain free. Spartacus is all of these things. I am simply one woman searching for the man she loves. I care about these people, I do, but every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake there is only one thing on my mind and that is Varro. Every step I take is to bring me closer to him."

"I know." He nodded with a smile. "But they don't see it that way."

"They should." I shot back at him coldly.

"We believe because you believe." A voice said startling me from my other side. Antonia sat atop a newly acquired horse, a slight frown on her face. "You're the image of hope for us. We see your scars and hear what you've overcome. You are the hope that we may survive what Spartacus has started. What we have started."

Looking around, I found several eyes upon me. It seemed that Caius and I had been overheard by far more than I had intended. Sighing, I stopped my horse, turning him round to face everyone. "Apologies if I have offended any of you. I never meant to cause any of you pain or to make you think that I do not care about your lives. I care deeply for every one of you. I care about your freedom and where you lay your head at night. I myself may have other intentions for going on this journey, my own happiness relying on finding the Rebels. But I will not turn my back on any of you. However I do pray that you not see me as your leader but merely a guide to bring you to the one who is your true leader. Spartacus is the man you seek to redeem you from the world we know and to show you a better way. I am not that person. I am nothing compared to whom I guide you to. Please do not put more faith in me than I deserve."

"You do deserve it." A woman I didn't know said with two children clinging to her. Having never seen her before it occurred to me that others had joined without my knowledge. "All know of Spartacus but there are those who whisper your name. Few are aware of what you're doing and what you've done, but those who do know what you risk, appreciate the actions you've taken."

"I've taken no action." I frowned shaking my head. "I have spilled no blood, I have taken no house, I have done nothing but free a handful of slaves, telling them of Spartacus and now I take them to him." Pausing I continued to shake my head at them, not understanding. "I have taken no other action than that. Caius is responsible for the food you eat and the clothes you wear. He is the reason I'm alive and was able to take any action at all. I would be dead if it weren't for him. So please, I beg of you, if you wish to look to someone among us then please look to him. He is Roman and yet is helping us, defying his own people to fight the cause Spartacus has started. If you wish to speak a name, speak Spartacus, speak Caius, but please do not speak Lea, for I do not deserve praise for doing what's right."

"You do not see what we do." Another unknown to me stated with a smile.

"No, I do not." I frowned still shaking my head at them. "I do not understand."

"More proof that you are a leader, even if you can't see it yourself." Felix chimed in. I frowned harder at him. "You do this because of your heart, not your mind. You may not want us to follow you but it is our choice to make. So for the foreseeable future, we follow you, Lea, friend of the Bringer of Rain." He said and smiled at me.

Sighing with defeat, I nodded at them, "I do not agree with you but it seems you've given me no choice."

"None." Felix smiled.

"So be it." I said turning and continuing on. "Do not cry to me when times get tough and you wonder why you're here. Remember, it was your own choice." I told them, a broad smile growing on my face.

There was the sound of muted laughter and we were all on the move again. Scouts had been scouring the countryside and had come back to report that the roads and woods seemed to be clear. I hoped that it meant that they hadn't moved on yet. All I wanted was for them to stay put one more day so we could catch up to them. I needed to catch up with them.

"There is one more villa that we never made it to. It's a little off to the side diagonal from where we are." One of my scouts, Appius, told me. He was young, barely past his twentieth year, his hair cut short based off stories about Spartacus, his blue eyes alight with our pending joining with the Rebels. "I think we should take a few men and go see what's there. If there's nothing then it is too far to make everyone follow us there."

"Well done." I nodded at him. "And agreed. I'll get Otho and Lucius to accompany us."

"Us?" He frowned at me. "Are you planning on coming?"

"I am too eager to stay behind and wait. I will be going." I told him.

"Domina." He said with a slight bow of his head, though it was clear that he immediately regretted his word.

"Excuse me?" I shot at him, my neck pained from the force at which I looked at him.

"Apologies." He said quickly. "Old habits." He added with a smile that was meant to disarm.

"Never call me that again." I told him coldly. "I never want to hear that word again. Nor Dominus nor amanuensis nor any other word that our masters used to call us by. We are free. We are never to answer to anyone but ourselves for the remainder of our days."

"Apologies." He told me again. "But know that it was said out of respect."

"Then call me by name. I do not own you, Appius." I stated.

"Again, apologies, Lea." He said softly.

Taking a calming breath, I looked at him, giving him a small smile. "Gratitude for the information. Apologies for my harshness."

"It was well founded." He told me with a small smile. "I will not make the same mistake twice."

"I believe you." I nodded at him. "Now go inform the gladiators and I will go tell Caius."

"Lea." He said and left.

Trotting my horse down the side of our group, I found Caius talking with Antonia, both laughing at something the other had said. Though Caius's eyes were immediately on me when I came into sight, receiving what could only be jealousy in the look Antonia gave.

"Caius, I'm going to be taking a small party to see what's in a villa on the other side of the wood. Appius thinks it's too far to take everyone in case there is nothing there." I told him.

"Why must you go?" He frowned at me.

"Because I'm too anxious to stay behind. I'm leaving you in charge." I replied.

"Are you taking both Otho and Lucius?" He asked.

"Yes, unless you think one should stay behind." I told him.

"We'll be all right." He smiled.

"Okay." I nodded, nervous of what we may find there.

"Are you going to leave immediately?" He asked next. Hearing hooves, I turned to see Appius with Lucius, Otho, Felix, and two other men all mounted and ready to go. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Be safe Caius. We'll return as soon as we can." I said reaching my hand out to him.

"You be safe as well." He smiled taking it.

"I will." I smiled squeezing his hand tightly.

Turning to Appius, I nodded, giving him the go ahead to lead the way. Moving swiftly through the wood, my heart was starting to race with anticipation. This could be it. This could be the villa that saw me reunited with my family.

Slowing to a steady walk, we listened to a stream nearby, leading the horses over so they could drink their fill. Slipping from my mounts back I stroked the stallion's neck, patting his withers before stepping away from him, listening to the forest. Otho too was looking out into the wood but the expression on his face was telling me that something was amiss.

"What is it?" I asked as I stepped next to him, trying to see what he was seeing.

"Something's out there." He whispered.

"Should we run?" I whispered as a pit fell in my stomach.

In the next moment there was shouting and men came from all sides, rushing toward us with swords drawn. Pulling my dagger from its place on my thigh, I held it up to prepare for them to reach us. Otho and Lucius were already in full swing with their swords out. Felix was at my side a second later, blocking a sword from coming down on top of me. Snatching the sword from where it had fallen, I dodged another attack before I swung the sword at the man nearest to me. All appeared to be gladiators. Dirty and fierce. The pit in my stomach turned to butterflies as I managed to hit the man in the head with the butt of the sword, not wanting to injure him more than I had to. Looking around at the strangers who had attacked, my eyes grew wide, knowing who they were.

"WAIT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.


	4. Reunited

_**Chapter Four: Reunited**_

Blood.

Yelling.

The sound of metal against metal.

It felt as if time slowed down as I took in the scene before me. The fighting had already commenced when I realized what was happening. Both sides were family to me, knowing that these gladiators that had come from nowhere could only belong to one company. Only one could bring this many gladiators to one place without an arena built around them.

"WAIT!" I screamed again, running toward where Otho was about to run through the gladiator beneath him. "Stop!" I yelled shoving him out of the way. Spinning on my heel I called to my friend. "Agron!" I yelled and all finally fell silent. All eyes were on me for a moment before they were warily watching each other. "Agron." I repeated as I stepped toward the gladiator, the sword falling from my grasp. There were only inches between us as I looked up into his eyes. "You have no idea how long it's taken me to find you." I smiled at him.

"Lea." He said almost breathlessly. Nodding, grinning at him, it was only a moment longer before he had me wrapped in his arms. "Lea." He repeated.

Laughing as I hugged him back, I couldn't describe how happy I was. "I've missed you so much." I told him finally releasing him. "You and the others."

"We searched for you." He told me, taking my head in his hands. "When we finally found where they'd sold you, the place was filled with blood and the stench of death. We could only assume the worst had happened."

"I was rescued." I stated. "Caius Laelius Sulla came and rescued me and the slaves who had the will to be free. He provided for me and many others as we continued to free as many slaves as we could."

"Rescued?" He frowned and his fingers trailed across a scar across my collarbone.

"It is not a happy tale." I told him, his hands gripping my arms, the frown on his face demanding answer. "I was continuously and brutally attacked on a daily basis. When Caius found me I was barely more than a corpse. Much healing had to be done before I was able to start my search for you and the others."

"Are you well?" He frowned harder.

Sighing, I leaned up, wrapping my arms around his neck, running my hand down the back of his head. "I am. So much more now that I've finally found you."

Hugging me tightly for a second time, emotion was tangible in the air. "Come, everyone will be eager to see you."

"Appius." I said turning to my friend. "Return with the others and get everyone ready. Come to the villa as soon as you can."

"Are you going on to the villa?" Lucius asked.

"Yes." I told him. "My family is there and I need to go to them." He nodded and yet there was sadness in his eyes. Putting my hand on his arm, I met his eyes, "You are family as well. Make sure ours gets to the villa safely." He nodded, putting his hand on my face. "I will be all right."

"Go be reunited with your love." He smiled.

"Gratitude." I smiled and quickly placed a kiss against his cheek. "Now go."

Watching my men till they were out of sight, I turned and smiled up at Agron, wrapping my arm around his waist as we started toward the villa. There was a long silence where I was simply happy to have found them. Happy that Agron was here even though part of me felt as if this were a dream. I felt myself staring at him just in case he disappeared, leaving me once again in agony over the loss of my family.

Catching me mid-stare, I blushed and looked away from him. "Apologies." I told him. "I've been looking so long it's hard to believe that you're actually here."

"Believe it." He smiled pressing a kiss against my hair. "You look well." He said eyeing me from head to toe.

"I'm fully healed. Caius has seen that I want for nothing." I told him. "He has been of great help in finding you."

"He dresses you in fine Roman garbs." He said looking at the stola I was wearing. "Something tells me it's not just your wellbeing he's seeing tended to." He commented with a cold tone.

Smiling, I leaned into his side. "He seeks something he cannot have. I've made it quite clear what I seek. He knows that friendship is all he will ever receive from me."

"Good." He smiled with a squeeze.

"And all I have is Roman clothing. Naevia will have to see me to the clothes of the Rebels." I said and laughed.

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. There was something he wasn't telling me. Letting a small pause linger, a frown crossed my face, afraid to ask what was really on my mind. Rubbing Agron's back, I looked up at him with worry, finally asking what mattered most to me, "How does Varro fare?" Agron's smile disappeared making my stomach drop. Heaving a heavy sigh, he looked to the sky as if it was going to give answer instead of him. "Please, Agron, tell me how he is."

"He's not well." He told me with another sigh.

"In what way is he unwell?" I asked quickly.

"His health is sound." He said just as quickly, leaving me too look at him questioningly. "His heart is broken. His mind filled with dark thoughts. He thinks he lost not only his wife but you as well. He's lost everything and its put him in a state that not even Spartacus can bring him out of."

"Does he speak? Does he move? Does he eat or drink?" I asked with concern.

"He hardly speaks. He mainly keeps to himself but he will move around, though he moves slowly with no purpose. He feels his losses every moment of every day. Food has not come easily and he's given most of his away to those who need it more." Agron explained.

"He will grow weak if he does not eat." I frowned. "Spartacus needs him strong in order to fight."

"I know." Agron smiled, kissing my hair again. "Once he sees you all will be right."

"I only hope the death of his wife hasn't permanently wounded him already." I said sadly.

"It hasn't." He told me. "She died before we found where you were. Her death broke him but as soon as the grief passed he put all his energy into finding you. Everything he did was to bring himself closer to you. He wanted to find you so badly I thought he wouldn't survive the search. He loves you. He loves you more than I've ever known anyone to love another. With the exception of Spartacus. The flame he holds for his dead wife still burns." He told me with a slight frown. "Though he has found comfort in Mira's arms." He added with a smile.

Looking up at him, I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was, finally smiling, I sighed and nodded, "I'm happy he's found a measure of peace. I'm sure Mira is more than eager to please him."

Agron laughed and nodded. "Spartacus thought you'd say something of that sort."

"Did he still think me alive?" I asked.

"No, none of us did." He admitted with a frown. "But he speaks of you often. He and Varro both mention you daily. When we thought you dead, Varro disappeared inside himself, but Spartacus still speaks of your words and the influence they have on people."

"Yes, I fear my mouth is more of a burden than anything else." I told him with annoyance. "I have to make more of an effort to keep it shut."

"I disagree." He frowned. "We may not know each other well but I feel as if I've known you for years."

"They speak that often of me?" I asked with a raised brow and a smile on my lips.

"Yes." He nodded.

"I'm surprised you thought me dead all this time." I stated. "My name is not unknown to the slave world. As soon as I started freeing them I became a recognized name among many."

"We do not receive news from Capua often." He commented.

"I understand." I said leaning my head against his chest. "What of the others? Naevia and Crixus? Duro?" I asked looking up to meet his eyes. When he refused to meet mine, I knew that something was amiss. "Something else has happened hasn't it?" I asked as my stomach dropped. "Please tell me my sister isn't dead."

"We aren't sure." He told me.

"Agron." I said stopping him, turning him to face me.

"After you were sold, Ashur made a move for Naevia. But he was simply using her to expose her and Crixus' relationship to our former masters. Domina was enraged, cutting Naevia's hair from her head and sending her from the villa. From what we understand she was moved from villa to villa, we assume, on her ways to the mines. Crixus was set to chains before it was decided that he was to fight Spartacus in a match to please the Romans, meeting his death in the process. It was during that match that the rebellion was started. We killed every last Roman in the house before opening the gates and freeing ourselves."

"Lucretia survived." I told him. "I saw her in the market. And Ilithyia still lives as well."

"They will die soon enough." He told me.

"And Crixus? Duro?" I asked.

"Crixus is in search of Naevia. He will not rest until she is with him." He told me and stopped again. The pause held a heavy weight.

"Duro is dead, isn't he?" I asked, knowing that that's why he hadn't mentioned him yet. He simply nodded at me. "I am so sorry, Agron." I told him as I once again wrapped my arms around his neck.

Holding me tightly, I felt him sigh, his lips against my ear, "Seeing you alive takes away the pain of losses past. It makes the heart soar."

Laughing lightly, I took his face in my hands, rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs. "Seeing you does the same for me." I smiled at him.

"I can't imagine what seeing Varro will do to you." He smirked at me.

"Lots of crying and kissing and love making. You won't want to be around for it." I told him before we both laughed, once again wrapping our arms around each other as we continued on to the villa.

When it finally came into sight, it was Agron's arm that stopped me from rushing forward, bursting through the gates. The scouts on top of the wall were already alerting the group to our return, making the gates ready to be opened as everyone else approached it. My heart was beating so fast with anticipation I thought it was going to burst. Stepping through the gates there were fires and belongings everywhere. People drinking and laughing, making love, and talking excitedly. My eyes were wide, not wanting to miss anything, as I was led into the villa. The entrance was large with more rebels in sight. Agron spoke to one of the rebels, watching as he quickly ran off. Smiling up at him, he winked, both of us hearing commotion before Spartacus appeared in front of us. Unable to hold myself back any longer, I beamed at him before he did the same, rushing toward him. Throwing my arms around his neck, I couldn't help but laugh with happiness. Continuously running my hand down the back of his head, I gripped him tightly, never wanting to let him go. Having to pry my arms off of him, he took my head in his hands, looking at me as if it were the first and last time. Leaning into his touch, I put one hand over his heart, the other gripping his forearm.

"I love you." I told him softly.

"I love you." He said before pulling me against his chest. "We thought you dead."

"I survived." I smiled up at him. "And now I'm home."

Grinning, he placed a kiss against my forehead. "I cannot express the happiness seeing you alive brings me."

My face hurt from the force of my smile, taking his head in my hands, I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I can say the same. I feared I would never find you."

"What happened to you?" He asked.

"I am eager to share with you what transpired after I was sold, however I will save it for later." I told him. He smiled and nodded at me. "Where is he?"

"Come." He said putting his arm around me, leading me through the villa.

The house was in full celebration. They were enjoying the freedom that they were gifted. Every room we passed was filled with the sounds and smells of happiness. Soon the sounds of them started to diminish as Spartacus led me into the bowels of the villa. There was little light and the sound of the rest of the house was barely audible when he finally stopped outside of a dark room. Looking at Spartacus, I frowned, already feeling emotion starting to take control.

"He prefers to be alone and is probably asleep." He told me gently. "He's in rough shape. He hardly speaks and hasn't eaten in days."

Putting my hand on his arm, I smiled as I nodded at him. "I'll take care of him."

"I know you will." He smiled, kissing my cheek before walking away.

"Spartacus." I said turning toward him. "If it's not too much to ask could you keep everyone from this part of the house?"

"Of course." He smiled at me.

"And when the others get here?" I asked, feeling anxious.

"I'll see them properly tended to." He replied, his smile never faltering.

"Gratitude." I smiled at him.

"Bring him back." He told me with seriousness before he walked away.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the room, seeing three candles alight on a small table. Seeing a pile of belongings, my eyes moved to the opposite side of the room. The corner was dark but I could make out the shape of him. Stepping closer, I could see the pile of blankets, Varro coming into focus as I stepped next to him. Tears welled in my eyes as I knelt at his side. His skin was smeared with dirt, small wounds covering his body. Despite his condition, I couldn't help but smile. He was here. He was right in front of me. Smiling, I watched him sleep, seeing the pain across his face. Reaching my hand out, I placed it lightly against his chest, relaxing at the feel of him. Closing my eyes, my smile grew, tears running down my cheeks as I ran my hand up and down his chest. The feel of his skin was euphoric. Leaning over him, I ran my fingers through his hair, staring at his face. Leaning down, I pressed my lips against his. Gently parting his mouth with my tongue I deepened the kiss, eagerly awaiting for him to wake. Soon his lips started to move with mine, the familiar feeling making my head swim. I had missed him so much. Wanting the kiss to last forever, knowing it couldn't, he gripped my arms and pulled me away from him. Opening my eyes, even in the dark, I could see the blueness of his eyes, drowning in them as I always did.

"Hello, my love." I smiled at him. "I am home." His eyes grew wide as he simply stared at me. Running my hand down his face, I rested my hand there, running my thumb across his lower lip and then along his jawline. "Varro, love, I am real and I am here."

Without another word he pulled me down against his chest, his arms wrapping around me with a vice grip, his lips meeting mine in a fierce kiss. His mouth invaded mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth, his taste flooding my senses. Rolling me underneath him, his weight on top of me made me feel safe. Our kisses became more passionate as I felt him harden against my thigh, making me pull the clothes from his body. Smiling, I grew wet as his lips never ceased moving with mine. Arching against him as he pulled up my dress and pushed up inside of me. I gripped his sides, bending my knees, gripping him tightly as my head began to swim. It was over quickly, yet he remained on top of me, his arms still wrapped around me tightly. Holding me against him possessively, I ran my fingers through his hair as we caught our breath. All the while he remained silent. It wasn't until I felt the droplets against my bare skin that I stopped, my happiness turning to sadness. Gripping him tighter, I felt my own wave of tears as I felt another of his fall against my skin.

"Varro." I said softly, rubbing his back, feeling the scars that the whip had left, in an attempt to comfort him.

"I thought you were dead." He finally told me with a hoarse voice. "I thought you were dead."

"I nearly was." I told him, slowly rolling over so we were facing each other. "Paulus was a monster."

"How did you escape?" He asked running his fingers through my hair before resting it on my cheek, his thumb moving back and forth across my cheek.

"I didn't." I told him. "Caius rescued me."

"Caius." He said looking away from me, jealousy in his tone. Though the sound of it made me smile. "You've been with him this whole time?" He asked.

"Yes." I smiled, leaning up and kissing his neck. "You do not need to worry about what happened in my absence. I've only ever been loyal to you."

"You've been gone a long time." He said still not meeting my eyes.

"Varro." I said smiling at him, making him meet my eyes. "I love you. I love you more than anything else in this world. Nothing has or will ever change that."

"And I love you." He finally smiled, kissing me deeply.

My smile faltered when I looked at him, "I'm so sorry to hear of your wife's death." I told him gently.

Shaking his head, he smiled at me, "Not necessary."

"Not necessary?" I frowned at him. "She was your wife. From what I've been told her death took a toll on you."

"It did." He nodded. "But things were never the same. Not after what happened to us. Not after seeing you whipped and sold to that man. She came and spoke to Batiatus, giving herself to the house to help pay off my debt more quickly. She had been told of you and what you meant to me. It led to many arguments, a rift being formed." He told me with a frown on his face. "Even in our happiest moments I found that my feelings were waning. Having her in my arms again was amazing and I felt joy with her. Yet what I felt for her was diminished in comparison to the way I felt at the mere memory of you." He explained, his expression softening. Smiling, I ran my hand down his face. "I missed you. I never knew how much I loved you until you were ripped from my arms."

"I knew I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you." I smiled at him, running my fingers through his hair. "I've thought about you every day since I was sold. Being reunited with you was the only thing I could think of. There was hardly a moment where you weren't on my mind." I told him as emotion started to seep through. "I love you." I told him airily. "I love you so much."

"I love you." He said and kissed me again. "A thousand times I love you." He added and continued to kiss me.

Laughing, I wrapped my arms around him as we continued to kiss. In this moment I couldn't have been happier. It didn't matter what had happened in our past or what happened in our future. As long as we were together we would be okay. As long as we had each other we could handle anything that came for us.

Spending several hours talking and kissing and making love, I had never felt more whole in my life. Seeing his smile, the shine back in his eyes, meant the world to me. We spoke of everything that had happened since we were parted. It was hard. I didn't want him to know what happened to me and hearing of the moments he spent with his wife was not something I wanted to picture. Though it was something we both needed to go through. I had no secrets from him. I never would. Now more than ever I knew he was the love of my life. I would love him forever and now I knew that he felt the same way. I felt guilty for not being more saddened by the loss of his wife. Only I couldn't bring myself to be unhappy. These were the happiest moments of my life. To have him once again in my arms meant the world to me.

"I could look at you forever." He smiled as we laid naked in each other's arms.

Grinning, I kissed him sweetly. "And I you." His smile faltered as his fingers trailed new scars that my dress had been concealing. "Ignore them." I smiled at him. "I am healed and I am fine. I am more concerned for you."

"Me? Why?" He asked with a smirk. "I'm just as fine as you are."

"Are you?" I asked with a raised brow. "Spartacus tells me that you've become a recluse and that you haven't eaten in days."

Sighing, he sat up, looking away from me. "I had my reasons."

Sitting up, for a moment I took in the scars on his back, running my fingers across them, trailing gentle kisses along them, before turning so I could face him. "Do you have a wish for death?" I frowned at him. "Did you simply wish to wither away because you thought you had lost those you loved?"

"You were lost." He frowned at me. "I had no reason to believe that you had survived what happened to that house. I had nothing left to live for."

"What of Spartacus? What of Naevia? What of all the people who follow your brother? There are always reasons to live, Varro. Even if I were dead that is no reason for you to give up. You need to live." I told him with furrowed brows.

"My wife died. I could survive that." He told me before putting his hand on my face. "But when I thought you had been killed and I wasn't there…" He said and paused. "I couldn't survive that. The guilt alone…" He said pausing again.

"Varro." I said softly, straddling his lap before taking his head in my hands.

"There was no coming back from your death." He said sadly as he wrapped his arms around me.

"What happened to me wasn't your fault." I told him as I ran my fingers through his hair. "And even I am not worth you losing your life." I added putting my hand against his chest, feeling his hearts strong beat. "For I am alive in you." I smiled and kissed him.

"Have I told you I love you yet?" He smiled.

"No." I said shaking my head.

"Let me show you how much." He whispered with his lips against mine.

His breath moved over me, making my head groggy as he pressed his lips to mine, moving to my jawline, down my neck, and between my breasts. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders as I leaned away from him, allowing his lips to move further down. His tongue ran along my flesh as I leaned forward again, our lips once again meeting in a passionate kiss. We were about to make love again when there was a voice from outside.

"Lea?"

Both of us froze and looked to the curtain that covered the door. Sighing, I ran my fingers through Varro's hair, knowing that our time alone was now over. "Hello, Caius." I replied. Varro furrowed his brows, his muscles tensing as he looked at the man's silhouette. Smiling, I shook my head and kissed him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." Caius said gently though I could hear the hardness in his tone. "Everyone is wondering where you are."

"Apologies for my absence." I told him. "Varro and I have been preoccupied, but we will rejoin you presently."

"Gratitude." He said and left.

Smiling at Varro, I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. "It would appear our time alone together is spent."

"I disagree." He said wrapping his arms around me. "I refuse to allow you to dress. You are mine and I will keep you for as long as I see fit."

Laughing, I kissed him passionately as he rolled me onto the floor, once against lying atop me. Our legs and feet moved against each other's, our hands running along any bear skin within reach. Our hands gripped tightly together, rubbing fingers and palms against each other. For a moment we simply stared into each other's eyes. I could look into his eyes forever and never grow tired of them. Keeping our eyes locked, he pressed his lips to mine.

"We should dress and rejoin the others." I told him without conviction.

He nodded before kissing me again, his hand sliding down my side, reaching for my cunt as he smiled at me. Grinning, I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip, shutting my eyes as he started to massage me.

"We shouldn't." I said knowing that I wasn't going to stop him.

He silenced me with his mouth, feeling his cock harden, replacing his hand as we made love again.


	5. Acclimation

_**Chapter Five: Acclimation**_

Walking through the villa, I held tightly to Varro's hand. We had prolonged rejoining the others for as long as we could, wanting to spend as much time alone with each other as possible. Though we were both needed, I needed to see to my people and Varro needed to speak to Spartacus. He had been absent too long and there were many words that needed to be broken. I felt many eyes upon us as we made our way past the many rooms of the house. There was the smell of food coming from the triclinium, making both our mouths water.

"Go eat, drink, and break words with Spartacus." I smiled up at him, taking both his hands in mine.

"And you go speak with Caius." He said though the sound of jealousy was back in his voice.

Leaning up, I kissed him deeply. "Stop with the jealousy." I told him. "It's sweet but unfounded. My heart and soul is yours."

"And mine is yours." He smiled, brushing the back of his fingers across my cheek.

Tilting my head, his smile grew and he leaned down to kiss me. It was sweet and filled with the love we shared for each other. For I did love him, more than anything, more than I'd love anything again in my life. Watching him walk away, I couldn't suppress the grin on my face as I turned and spotted Caius among the rebels that surrounded us. Even though he was surrounded by friends, he looked out of place and it was clear that he was unsure of the decision he had made. There were those among us eyeing him as the enemy despite the safety that I was certain Spartacus had provided him. Only they would see him as Roman. The Roman slaves among us were exempt due to their status as slave; Caius was a free Roman who chose to join us. Some would respect him for it, others would want to spill his blood, something I hadn't put enough thought into. I needed to protect him. I owed him my life and I would see that his was safe from those among us who would wish him harm.

"Caius." I smiled as I stepped up to him. His face was hard when he looked at me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hugged him tightly. "Apologies for taking so long." When I released him he still held the same hard look. "Caius." I frowned back at him. "Don't be like this."

"How am I being?" He asked coldly.

"You're acting like you were unaware of my intentions." I told him crossing my arms.

"I know." He nodded. "Only I didn't expect…" He said and stopped.

Frowning sadly at him, all I could do was shake my head, "I was never yours, Caius."

"I know." He said softly.

"Then why act this way?" I asked sadly. "You knew my main focus was being reunited with Varro. You cannot expect things to remain the same. We are far from your villa, never to return again. Here, things are different. Things will never be the same as they were. But we remain friends. That part hasn't changed."

"I prefer the way they were." He frowned. "You full of life while in my home. I never wanted to come on this journey."

"Then why did you? You could have remained in Capua. No one would have stopped you or looked down on your for such a decision."

Stepping closer to me, his face was mere inches from mine. "For you, Lea. I came for you. Everything I have done has been for you and no one else."

Frowning at him, my stomach turning at his words, I took a step away from him. "I am not yours." I repeated slowly, making my words plain.

Walking away from him, I found myself a jug of wine, taking a long drink of it, followed by a deep breath to steady myself. I didn't know why I thought things would be able to stay the same. It occurred to me that I was a possession in his eyes. He was no better than the Romans we were to fight against. Feeling the sting of tears, I took another drink of the wine before turning and marching back toward Caius. Reaching him, I slapped him hard across the face, my anger flowing freely.

"I am not your possession!" I screamed at him, making a look of shock and guilt cross his face. "I owe you my life but that doesn't mean you own me!"

"Lea, I don't think that." He told me gently though he refused to meet my eyes.

"You do!" I yelled. "You're jealous and you see me as yours! I am not yours, Caius." I said finally lowering my voice. "I will never be yours and you know that. You are my friend and I care about you but you cannot treat me like I used to be a _slave_ to you. I am no longer a slave and I will never be a possession again. If you want to survive this, if you want to be here, than you must understand this or I fear you will not last the night." I finished and stormed away from him.

Slipping into the shadows, I took a deep breath as tears streamed down my face. Starting to shake I tried to push these feelings away. I was with Varro again, that's all that mattered, yet I had hoped all the people I cared about would be able to coexist. For me and for the cause. Sliding down the wall, I let the tears fall, knowing that they had to. I was alone for only a few minutes when two figures appeared, sitting on either side of me. Both my hands were taken and a comfortable silence settled over us. Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the wall, pulling their hands against my chest as I brought my knees up, hugging them tightly to me.

"Is she all right?" Varro's voice asked, making me open my eyes and look at him.

"Yes." Antonia told him.

"Just give us a few minutes." Felix added from my other side.

Smiling at him, he smiled back before turning and walking away. "Gratitude." I told my friends. "I was under the impression that Caius was different."

"He is different." Felix smiled, wrapping his arm around me. "It has nothing to do with the blood that runs through his veins. It's about what his heart beats for."

"It beats for you." Antonia said with a smile though I knew the fact pained her.

"But I will never feel for him that way. He is my friend, my brother, and that is all." I frowned at her.

"He knows that." She said tucking my hair behind my ear. "He just has trouble accepting it."

"He must." I told her as tears filled my eyes again.

"He will." Felix told me. "We just arrived. He'll come to terms."

Nodding, I took a steadying breath. "How are you doing? How is everyone else?" I asked. "Was Spartacus welcoming?"

"Very." Felix smiled.

"He's been wonderful." Antonia added.

"And everyone is doing well. Lucius and Otho are happy to be amongst brothers. Some of the gladiators here are known to them. They have been in celebration since we stepped through the gates."

"Everyone else is finding that they're all the same. Many stories are being shared with new friends that have been made." Antonia added.

"Good." I nodded at them. "That's good."

It was then that we heard commotion from the front of the villa. Frowning, we all stood and rushed toward the sound. Pushing through the crowd, I had to jump back as Caius was thrown from the villa steps, rolling across the ground before getting to his feet. In the next moment Crixus appeared, anger written across his face, charging after the Roman.

"Crixus!" I yelled rushing after him. "Don't!" I yelled gripping his wrist with both my hands as he moved to punch Caius again. He stopped and looked at me. There was such pain and anger on his face that it broke my heart. "It's okay." I told him. "I'm okay."

"He made offense against you." He told me with his gruff voice.

Smiling at the sound of it, I nodded at him, "Yes, but he is a friend." I told him. "He will never make the mistake again."

"We thought you dead." He said swiftly taking my head in his hands.

"I know." I told him breathlessly as I put my hands over his. "But I'm here. I am safe and will never be apart from you again." He nodded at me as emotion crossed his face. "We will find her, Crixus. We will find her and our family will be whole again."

"She wanted me to find you. To protect you." He told me. "I made promise that I would see it done."

"And I'm right here." I smiled at him. "Now it's our turn to find her. Protect her."

"It's what I long for most."

"Then let's see it done." I smiled and kissed his cheeks wrapping my arms around his neck. Releasing him, I wrapped my arm around him, leading him back to the villa.

"Lea." Caius said from behind us.

"All is forgiven, Caius." I smiled at him.

Leading Crixus to a quiet place, a cup of wine was brought, helping him drink though he had already had plenty. This was not the Gaul I remembered. This man was diminished. I understood what he was feeling. I knew far too well.

"Rest." I told him as I gently pulled him down, cradling his head in my lap. "All will seem better in the morning." He gripped my thigh, shutting his eyes. "Sleep." Soon sleep finally took him. Running my fingers through his hair, smiling as Varro came and sat next to me. Kissing me sweetly, he looked at the Gaul with a sad expression. "He's not doing well." I told my love.

"I know how he feels." Varro frowned. "We've actually bonded over the loss of our women." He told me with his boyish smirk, making butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"I love you." I smiled running my hand down his face. "I will never be from your side again. Nor from your arms. Nor from your bed."

He grinned and kissed me again. "I'll make sure of it."

Falling asleep with my head against Varro's shoulder, I still held Crixus in my lap, unable to hide my happiness for being back with them, no matter what state they were in. Come morning, I woke to find myself in Varro's lap. He still sat propped against the wall. Smiling, I sat up and took his head in my hands, kissing him deeply. Soon he was kissing me back, rolling me into his arms as he took my breath away. Laughing, I ran my fingers down his face, smiling at him with all the happiness I felt.

"My ass is killing me." He smirked, making me laugh again; kissing me again he pulled me from his lap, both of us getting to our feet.

The smell of meat was filtering through the air from the spit out front. It occurred to me that we never ate last night. The smell was making my mouth water intensely and my stomach rumble with wanting. Walking toward the smell, Varro kissed me before going to get the latest news of the day. Going to the food, I was given a leg of meat, sitting and happily devouring it as fast as I could. Washing it down with a glass of wine, I was content. Many smiled and nodded at me as they passed by, I knew I wasn't going to be left alone for long.

"Good morning." Caius smiled as he sat next to me.

"Good morning." I grinned at him, hooking my arm through his as I leaned against him.

"How do you fare?" He asked gently.

"Very well." I told him. "And you?"

"I am fine." He smiled though I felt as if the smile was only for my benefit.

"Morning." Antonia smiled as she sat next to Caius.

"Morning." I smiled at her. "Where's Felix?"

"Here." He said sitting on my other side with a hunk of meat.

"Morning." I smiled as I tore a small piece of meat and ate it before he could stop me.

"Spartacus, Crixus, Agron and some of the others are gone. Do you know where they went?" He asked.

"I do not. Though I haven't been awake long." I told him as I snatched another piece of meat.

"There's more you know." He frowned at me, moving the meat away from me.

Smiling at him, I attempted to take more but he hit my hand away from me, jabbing his fingers in my side to make me jump away from him.

"Stop." I smiled shoving him.

"Lea!" My name was exclaimed from behind me.

Turning, I was on my feet in an in instant, embracing Mira. "I'm so happy to see you." I told her.

"You as well." She said hugging me again.

"Hello." Felix said getting to his feet as he looked at Mira.

"Mira, this is Felix. He was freed from the house I was sold to." I told her. She smiled at him before looking at me sadly. "I am fine." I smiled at her.

"Spartacus spoke at length with Caius." She told me with a slight frown. "He told me what happened to you."

Still smiling at her I nodded, "I'm home now. That's all that matters."

"Yes, it is." She smiled and embraced me again.

"I'm glad you're all right." I told her hugging her tightly before pulling her away from me, smiling at her. "And I've been told you now lie with Spartacus." She nodded at me. "I am happy for you."

She simply grinned at me, "I am happy for me as well." Laughing lightly we embraced again before there was a hand on my back. Looking up at Varro, I smiled, leaning against him. "I'll leave you." She smiled, kissing my cheek before walking away, Felix doing the same.

Varro lifted my chin with the side of his finger and kissed me deeply. "Mmm, you taste good." I grinned at him with my eyes shut. Hearing him give a short laugh, he wrapped his arms around me, pressing me against his chest as he kissed me passionately. When he finally leaned away from me, I smiled up at him, able to stare at him for forever. "I could do that forever."

"I intend for you to." He smirked and kissed me again.

We spoke of trivial things while he ate and drank; people from my past and present speaking on good terms. When Spartacus and the others returned, they all moved inside, no one saying anything. Varro moved to follow him while I lingered, intending on finishing the conversation I was having with Caius and a group of our people, before moving to join Spartacus and the others. Only I was cut short when there was the sound of agony in the air. My head moved toward the sound. Listening, I frowned before a realization hit me. "Crixus." I said before rushing to where the sound of him was coming from. Stopping when the small garden in the center of the villa came into sight, I witnessed Crixus tear into the long grass, yelling mournfully, two gladiators were attempting to hold him back. "What happened?" I asked Agron, who was watching it take place.

"He received some bad news." He told me, turned and walked away.

Varro put his hands on my arms as my heart began to race, panic starting to set in. "No." I said as tears filled my eyes. "No." I repeated and took a step toward the Gaul. Rushing forward, I shoved the gladiators aside, all of them stepping back when they looked at me. Taking Crixus' face in my hands his eyes were shut, his mouth gapping in grief. "Crixus." I said with a shuttering breath. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Shaking my head, I didn't have to speak for him to know what I was thinking.

"Naevia…" He said with a raspy voice, "…is dead."

"No." I told him as tears began to stream. "She can't be. No, Crixus. No."

Wrapping his arms around me, he embraced me in a vice grip. It was the only thing that was holding me together in this moment. Standing there we grieved the loss both of us shared. A loss that there was no words for. Our sobs filling the air as we came to terms with the news received. When our tears slowed, we were both led to a quiet part of the villa, left alone to process our latest tragedy. However, Varro was never far. He would speak to Spartacus but was always within sight. I was grateful for that. For if he had died I would have a better understanding of Crixus' feelings. For he sat an empty vessel, nothing could lessen the despair he felt. And now I'd lost my sister. I didn't know how I was supposed to go on without her. She was a constant voice in my head. She was everything. She was more important than me and now she was gone. Stricken from this world far before her time. All because she loved a gladiator.

Looking at Crixus, I ran my hand down his face, making him meet my eyes. "We will survive this." I told him with a hoarse voice. "We will survive and destroy every Roman to have our revenge." He simply looked at me, resting his head against mine, before once again staring off into space.

We sat together for a long time. There was no easing his misery. Nothing that neither I nor anyone else could say to help him through this. Varro came and sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my bent knee as I leaned against Crixus' side. Putting my hand over his, I still hugged Crixus' arm against me, his head still resting against mine. Footsteps approached and soon Spartacus appeared.

"May I break words with our friend?" He asked gently.

"Of course." I told him, lifting my head and looking at my brother. "I will be back, Crixus." I said softly, kissing his temple before removing myself from his side.

"Come." Varro said helping me to my feet and gently leading me away.

As soon as we were out of sight, a fresh wave of tears hit me, my chest clenching as I attempted to hold in the sobs. Putting my hand over my mouth, Varro pulled me against his side before ushering me back to the room where we had first been reunited. Holding me as we sat amongst the blankets, I sobbed until I couldn't anymore. My throat raw, my eyes red and swollen. All the while Varro held me against his chest, remaining silent, knowing that there was nothing that could be said that would make this bearable.

Leaning away from him, I wiped the tears from my cheeks, taking several shuddering breaths. "Apologies." I smiled at Varro. He frowned, shaking his head. "I just don't understand how this could have happened."

"There was nothing you could have done. No one could have stopped it once it was put into motion." Varro told me gently. "I am sure she held on for as long as she could."

"And then she died." I frowned at him. "She died a slave. She died afraid and alone. I should have been with her. _Crixus_ should have been with her. Instead she was given away, moved from villa to villa, and I can only imagine what was done to her while she was within their walls."

"At least her suffering has ended." He said softly.

Nodding at him, I took a deep breath. "If she experienced anything like I did than it is truly a blessing." He frowned, his eyes filled with sadness when I met them. "There are many horrible men in this world, Varro. I would see them all die for what they've done."

"They will." He said wrapping me in his arms.

Soon we rejoined the others, feeling emotionally drained, and yet I felt the need to help. I had done nothing since I'd arrived and I needed a distraction from my latest loss. Finding Spartacus with Agron, I was swiftly embraced by Mira as well as Antonia and Felix, feeling their sympathy radiating off of them.

"I am fine." I smiled at them.

"You don't have to be strong." Mira told me. "She was a sister to you – me as well – and now she's gone. There is nothing that can ease the pain you feel."

"There is." I told her, my tone growing dark. "The spilling of Roman blood." She nodded, smiling. Taking her hand, I moved to Varro's side, taking his hand as I looked at Spartacus, Mira doing the same for her man. "What is the plan?"

"We move toward Vesuvius. There we will be in striking distance of Pompeii. Agron has also spoken of Neapolis and the ships that come bringing men for the arena. The mountain offers good advantage as well as the hope of seeing numbers swell." Spartacus told me.

"The ships usually hold trained fighters for the arena. They already hate Rome and will help our numbers considerably." Agron told us.

Nodding, I smiled up at Varro who returned with a slightly sadder one. "Come with me." He said before leading me away from everyone else. "You don't have to be strong. How do you fare?" He asked gently.

Sighing, I wrapped my arm around him, leaning into his side as he did the same. "I'm sad." I told him. "And I'm angry. And I'm a little bit scared."

"Everything will be all right." He said placing a kiss against my hair.

"How?" I frowned up at him.

"We will hurt the Romans the same way that they've hurt us. We will spill as much Roman blood as we can, seeking revenge for the ones we've lost and redemption for those who still serve under masters." He told me with certainty.

"I do wish to seek revenge for myself, for you, and now especially for Naevia. But…" I said and stopped.

"But what?" He frowned.

Stopping him, knowing we were out of earshot, I shared something that I hadn't thought much of until this moment. "We could leave Rome and find a new home. Make a life for ourselves together. Have a family and live a complete life."

"And abandon Spartacus?" He frowned, releasing me as he took a step away to look at me.

Quickly taking his hands, I held them against my chest as I looked up at him. "I do not want to abandon him. What I do want is you and as long a life as I can have with you. I am afraid that one or both of us will not survive this fight." I frowned up at him.

He smiled, moving so our bodies were against each other, leaning down and kissing me deeply. "Neither of us is going to die, my love." He told me sweetly. "We will fight with Spartacus and when it's all over we are going to have the life that both of us dream of."

"You can't promise me that." I frowned harder.

"No, I cannot." He said putting his hand on the side of my head. "But I will do my utmost to make sure that it happens."

"I would give my life for you." I told him. "You do know that do you not?"

Taking my head in his hands, his grip was almost painful, his tone serious, "You are never to give your life for mine. Do you understand me?"

"I understand but I cannot promise you that. If I can stop your death by giving my own I will do it without hesitation."

"Lea, you must promise me that you won't. I'd rather die than live without you." He told me with a pained expression.

"And it is the same for me." I frowned at him, putting my hands on his shoulders, running them up his neck to his face. "I cannot live without you. I refuse to. Either we both live or we both die."

"Then I choose to live." He said before he started to kiss me.

Not caring who saw, he pushed me up against the wall, pinning my hands to it with his as he kissed me passionately. Pulling one of my hands free, I lifted my knee to his side, pulling up my dress, growing wet with wanting. Helping him pull his trousers down, I took his cock in my hand, rubbing it as our lips continued to move against each other. Soon he hardened in my grasp, making me smile before I arched away from the wall, placing him at my entrance. His kisses became more passionate as he pushed up inside of me. Moaning with pleasure, I bit down on my lip as he trailed kisses down my neck, burying his there as he lifted me further, rocking against me. His lips once again found mine, my head spinning with the pleasure he'd just given me. Soon he pulled from within me, slowly putting me back on my feet. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I looked into his eyes, seeing all the love he held for me in them. Leading me back to his room, we laid in each other's arms, smiling as we stared at each other. It was hard to be sad when he was with me.

"You should eat." I told him as I trailed my finger across the lines of his face.

"So should you." He replied with a smile.

"I don't think my stomach will accept anything right now." I said with a sigh, hugging my arms against my chest.

"I won't eat a bite unless you do as well." He said with a raised brow and his boyish smirk.

Smiling at him, I shook my head, kissing him deeply. "Fine." I said kissing him again. "I'll get us something to eat. You should start packing. Spartacus will want to move out as soon as possible."

"All right." He nodded and started kissing me again, rolling over me, allowing himself better access to all of his favorite spots.

"I'll never be able to leave if you keep kissing me like that." I told him airily.

"That's my plan." He grinned invading my mouth again.

Running my hands across his toned muscles, I ran my feet up and down his legs, his hands running along my sides, over my breasts, up my neck and to my face, his fingers entangling in my hair as his tongue touched mine, moving against each other as the heat between us began to rise. When I felt him harden against me, he was about to enter my cunt when a familiar pain started to burn. I couldn't help but put my hands on his chest, stopping it from going further, a small gasp escaping my lips, thankfully unnoticed by Varro.

"Is something wrong?" He asked gently.

"Apologies." I smiled. "But you must prepare to go and I must find some food."

"Is that all?" He asked, knowing that it wasn't.

"Forgive me." I told him again, my smile now gone. "I am in need of a rest. Making love with you pleases me beyond measure, yet for as healed as I am there are some things that may still need more time."

He frowned harder, "Is there something you did not tell me?" There was nothing I could hide from him. Nor anything that I wished to hide. I told him of what Paulus had done to me. I simply hadn't been as forthcoming with details that I knew would hurt him. "Tell me." He frowned. I looked up at him sadly. "Loosen tongue and tell me what you chose not to before."

Taking a deep breath, I spoke slowly, the information I was about to give him hard to move past lips. "I am heavily scared from constant tearing and I feel myself tearing again." I told him sadly. "There is already enough damage to make conceiving a child difficult. I do not wish to cause any further damage to make it impossible."

He quickly moved off of me, frowning harder. "Why did you keep this from me?"

"It's troubling news and I did not want you to look at me as damaged as I feel at times." I replied sitting up. "There are times when it burdens my mind and I did not want you to feel that burden as well."

Taking my hands in his, he sighed and spoke softly, "Your burdens are my burdens. You need keep nothing from me. Forgive me if I have been overzealous with my affections toward you."

"No." I told him quickly, moving to my knees to be closer to him, taking his head in my hands. "Never apologize for that. I love you and I love being with you. The feeling of you inside of me makes me feel more whole than I've ever felt before. But I am simply reminded that I am still human and still fragile. I may be healed but I fear time will still be needed. For there are wounds of the mind that I have yet to fully overcome. I feared lying with you might frighten me after everything I've been through. But with you I am home. Wherever you are I shall be and everything is right in the world."

Smiling, he kissed me sweetly. "It is the same for me." He said running his hand down my hair. "I will show you how gentle I can be."

Grinning, I shook my head lightly as I ran my hands down his chest before wrapping my arms around him, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, "I know how gentle you can be."

"I will remind you all the same." He said placing a kiss against my nose. "Now go before I cannot contain myself any longer."

Laughing, I took his head in my hands and kissed him passionately. "I will be back presently."

"I shall attempt to be productive in your absence." He smiled.

Kissing him once more, I quickly got to my feet and left the room. Taking a deep breath, I took a moment to reach into my cunt, afraid that there had been a tear. However, I took a relieved breath when I found that I was still whole. I wasn't sure if the pain I had felt was real or if it was simply a memory of what I had endured. Shaking it off, I walked through the house, hearing the sounds of packing. The sun had already started to set. Seeing Spartacus leaning against a doorframe, watching, I stepped up behind him, wrapping my arm around his waist as I leaned against his side. Looking at me, he smiled and wrapped his arm around me, placing a kiss in my hair.

"You look odd to me in Roman garbs." He teased.

"It took weeks to feel comfortable in them myself." I smiled at him. "However, I had planned on changing into Rebel attire when I arrived. Something I had hoped Naevia would assist me with."

"Her loss brings much pain." He said pulling me against his chest, wrapping his other arm around me. Sighing, gripping his shoulder with my other hand, I shut my eyes as I listened to his heartbeat. "I know there is nothing I can say, but know that I cannot help but feel happy by your presence."

"And I by yours." I told him, hugging him tighter. "There will be much pain during this fight. We must cherish the moments we have before they're taken from us." He started to laugh, making me look up at him. "Have you found my words funny?" I asked though a smile was on my face.

"I've missed your words." He said placing a kiss against my forehead. "You being here brings a sense of peace I have not felt since before your absence. I cannot express how grateful I am to you."

"It is I who am grateful." I told him. "You've kept Varro alive in the face of tragedy. I cannot thank you enough for that."

Shaking his head he ran his hand down my hair, "Your heart is too big. You worry about everyone else before yourself. A virtue and a fault."

"Yes." I sighed, wrapping my arms around him. "But I cannot change who I am."

"Nor would I want you to." He smiled doing the same. Leaning away from him, I looked out at all the people. "You are alone. I am surprised to not see Varro. He has become your shadow." He smiled, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe.

Laughing, I nodded at him, crossing my arms as well. "I told him to pack. Sometimes I feel as if this is just a dream. I didn't know I could be this happy. Even after everything that has happened, I cannot help but be happy. Varro means everything to me and to be with him again brings happiness I cannot begin to describe." Spartacus smiled at me, but it was the first time that it did not reach his eyes. "Forgive me." I said putting my hand on his arm. "I do not wish to cause you pain."

"No apology needed." He smiled, putting his hand on my face. "I'm happy if you're happy."

"Then we are both happy." I said kissing his cheek. "I love you, brother."

"And I you, sister." He winked and kissed my cheek in return. "Don't let me keep you."

"I am to get food and drink." I told him. "Varro will survive without me for a little while longer."

"All right." He said putting his arm around my shoulders, leading me to where the food was. Gathering just enough for Varro and I, I set it aside before sitting on the steps of the villa with Spartacus.

"I need you to be honest with me." I told him gently. He frowned at me. "How do you fare? Much has happened and everyone is looking to you for answers and direction. It's a heavy load to carry."

"I am well." He smiled at me. "I am prepared for the task I've put on myself. After all, these people have their own minds and can do as they please. If they choose to follow me than so be it and if they wish to travel their own path then they are free to leave."

"What promises have you given them?" I asked.

"Protection and the hope of a better life free of bondage." He told me.

"To what end?" I asked.

"We'll defeat as many Romans as we can, moving over the mountains, leaving Rome and their hold behind us." He told me. "From there we can create whatever life we want. Rome will be able to do nothing." Nodding at him, I looked back at the many packing rebels. "What doubts do you have?" He asked.

Smiling, I nodded at him. "I'm not sure that I have doubts. I simply question our ability to survive this."

"We will survive." He told me matter-of-factly.

"The fight has barely begun." I frowned. "You've done much and have made Rome herself an enemy. Yet the fighting will only intensify. I worry for the people I love and also for myself."

"Speak plainly." He frowned.

Feeling my eyes gloss over, I smiled at him, "I cannot bear to lose anyone else that I love. Varro will follow you to whatever end and if he is lost I too shall pray for death, finding it in the hands of Romans or even in my own. The future looks bleak."

"You need to think more positively." He told me. "If there was anything I can promise you it is that I will keep Varro safe. You will never feel the agony of his death."

"I will hold you to your word." I smiled at him. "But promise me one more thing."

"Anything." He smiled.

"You too must remain safe. This cause cannot lead to your death any more than Crixus' or Agron's or Mira's. We all must survive this." I told him.

"We will." He smiled, taking my hand.

Soon Mira joined us, embracing Spartacus as she took her place by his side. Knowing the look in her eyes, I stood and returned to Varro with food and drink. Finding that he'd done very little, I frowned, putting down our nourishment before stepping up to him. I was about to reprimand him when I noticed he was holding a piece of fabric, a pained expression on his face. Stepping up to him I recognized it as my blue dress, the dress of a body slave, which I had worn on many occasions.

"It still holds your smell." He told me without looking at me. "The scent of roses, lilies, and your natural smell." Kneeling in front of him, I put my hands on his knees. "I almost forgot I had this."

"Varro, love, discard it. It belonged to an old life."

"I can't." He smiled through his sadness. "This has kept me going since we were parted. I have you back but I still cannot bring myself to let it go. It holds memories that are dear to me."

"We can create more memories." I smiled and kissed him deeply. "You don't need that."

"I want it." He told me with furrowed brows.

"All right." I nodded at him, running my fingers through his hair before resting my hand against his face. "Besides," I smiled, "I won't smell of roses again anytime soon."

He finally smiled and kissed me sweetly. "It does not matter. I'll love you no matter what scent you carry."

"You might regret saying that." I grinned before kissing him again.

Laughing, he wrapped me in his arms, playfully biting my neck, feeling him take in my scent. "You smell wonderful to me."

"And you as well." I beamed at him. "Even though you smell horrible."

He frowned at me before his hands squeezed my sides, his teeth gently gracing the flesh of my neck as he put me in a fit of happiness, running his tongue along the areas where his teeth left a mark before he gently sucked my skin. All the while his hands were squeezing my sides. Laughing uncontrollably, I squirmed against him despite the strength in which I held him. Soon his lips found mine, taking my breath away from the depth of his kiss. There was no limit to the love I felt for him, knowing that he felt the same. Enthralled with each other, I knew what it would lead to, only before I could stop him, his kisses slowed and he simply held me in his arms, staring into my eyes. His touch was gentle, his fingers leaving a trail of fire as he ran them across my skin.

"See, I can be as gentle as you need me to be." He told me softly.

"I love you." I said and kissed him.

"And I love you." He smiled back, kissing my deeply.

"I brought food. We should eat." I told him, unwillingly removing myself from his embrace.

"Lea." He frowned at me.

"What?" I grinned at him. "We have the rest of our lives to lay with each other." He continued to frown at me. Tossing him part of a loaf of bread, he sighed but started to eat it. Doing the same I sat with him again, happy to be filling my stomach. "You haven't packed yet. I was gone long enough for you to at least accomplish something."

"Apologies." He told me. "I started but found your dress and couldn't help the memories that flooded my mind."

"Did it bring you comfort in my absence?" I asked.

"More than I can say." He replied, rubbing my back as he finished the bread.

"You were hungry." I smiled.

"More than I thought." He said as he picked at mine.

"Take it." I said handing it to him, knowing his fondness for bread.

Taking a piece of asparagus, I enjoyed it, enjoying being able to share such a common act with him. Something that we never got to share before. All secrecy was gone and now every part of everyday could be spent sharing all the moments we were deprived of. Talking as we ate, it was amazing what we knew about each other and what there was yet to learn. Eating the stalks, he handed me the heads of the asparagus, knowing they were my favorite part, making me smile at him, laughing at something he said. Each taking an apple, we finished our meal, washing it down with the water I had brought, leaving the small decanter of wine for later. Smiling as I watched him eat, it made my heart sore to know that he had reverted to his former self. He was no longer lost in grief. Part of me felt guilty for putting him in such a state, despite not having knowledge I was doing so.

"You're staring." He smiled as he finished off the bread.

Grinning, I nodded at him, still staring, "I can't help myself. I could look at you forever and never become bored." I told him, running my fingers through his hair.

Looking at me, he smiled before leaning closer to me, kissing me sweetly. "And I could kiss you forever and it would never be enough."

Laughing lightly, I continued to kiss him, pushing him onto his back, straddling his waist as I took his head in my hands, deepening the kiss. It was my turn to take his breath away. Feeling him shudder beneath me, I continued to kiss him as I reached my hand down between his legs. I couldn't give him what he truly wanted but I would please him in any way that I could. Taking his cock in my hand, I massaged him, feeling him harden, his breath shuddering as I rocked against him while I pleasured him. Licking the length of his bottom lip, I gently bit his chin before gently sucking it, moving my lips to his neck and chest, my free hand running up and down his body. Feeling him release, I grinned, kissing him, sucking his lower lip before leaning away from him. He grinned back before pulling my face down to his again. Rolling off of him, putting my leg in between his, I gently ran my fingers back and forth across his chest. Propping myself on my elbow, I looked down at him. He smiled at me as he trailed his fingers back and forth across my back.

"You should pack." I told him softly. He just made a noise in response. "We need to be ready come morning."

"We will be." He told me tilting his head back as he looked at me. Smiling, I kissed him before nestling against his side, my head on his chest. "If you fall asleep against me I'll never get anything done."

"You won't?" I smiled as I placed a kiss against his skin.

"I won't have the heart to move you."

"Then you should pack now for I cannot keep my eyes open much longer."

Thinking that he wouldn't move, I felt a chill as he stood, leaving me alone on the floor. Sighing, I moved to the pile of blankets, pulling one over myself. I made myself comfortable as I watched him start to pack. He kept glancing at me, smiling, though it were as if he was afraid that I would disappear. I knew the feeling. I felt the same when I first discovered Agron in the woods. I too couldn't help but watch him. Every moment with him was heaven to me.

Pouring a glass of wine, he drank as he packed, kneeling next to me, filling my mouth with its taste as he kissed me. Beaming at him, I continued to watch him pack, feeling more and more tired as the minutes went by. Soon my lids felt too heavy, falling shut, the sound of his movements lulling me to sleep.

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><p><strong>A big thank you to all those who enjoy the story! Every kind word is appreciated and an encouragement! And I'd like to give a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Phantom- of- light! I hope you've enjoyed your 21st birthday! Have a glass of wine for me! Afterward, enjoy this chapter. (=<strong>


	6. New Responsibilites

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from the Spartacus Series is not mine. Lea and everyone else is.**

**A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO HAVE READ AND REVIEWED MY STORY! THIS ONE AND ANY OTHER! IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND KEEPS ME MOTIVATED AND MOVING FORWARD! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS NEXT CHAPTER! AND I HOPE YOU LIKE LONG ONES. ; )**

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><p><span><em><strong>Chapter Six: New Responsibilities<strong>_

The morning rays slowly woke me. Smiling, my fingers ran along Varro's arm that lay draped over my side, my arm lying atop his. I could feel his breath against my neck, the tip of his nose gently brushing my skin as he breathed. Slowly shifting, I rolled onto my back, turning my head so I could look at him. He was beautiful even in sleep. Placing a kiss against his forehead, I rested mine against it, shutting my eyes again. He made a soft noise and he tightened his grip on me, pulling me closer against him. Kissing his forehead again he slowly pressed a kiss against my shoulder. Lifting his head, I opened my eyes, waiting to meet the blueness of his. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled sweetly before closing them again. Kissing his lips, he moved his hand to the side of my head, keeping my lips against his.

"Good morning." I smiled with our lips still touching.

"Mm." He said rubbing his nose against mine. Smiling wider, I kissed him again. "I'm all packed." He told me with a smile.

"Good." I said wrapping my arm around him, running my hand down the muscles of his back. "Then perhaps we have time to spare for other activities."

"I like the sound of that." He said rolling over me.

Laughing lightly, I took his head in my hands, kissing him passionately. "We should really join the others." I told him kissing him every other word.

"Yes." He sighed, resting his head against my chest. "Spartacus will want to leave soon."

"Yes." I said running my fingers through his hair with one hand, trailing my fingers up and down his back with the other.

"Though I'd be content to simply lay here with you." He told me wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Me as well, my love." I smiled, kissing his hair, letting my lips linger there.

"I am happiest in your arms." He said sweetly, pressing his lips against my skin.

My smile grew as I took a deep breath of him before replying, "As am I."

In the next moment he was off of me and pulling me to my feet. "Come." He said and quickly led me from the room.

Gripping his arm to keep close to his side, he led me to the bathes, finding it empty. Turning to me he quickly pulled the pins that held the dress together at my shoulders, pulling the dress down so it fell to the floor. My undergarments went just as quickly, leaving me naked in front of him. Smiling, I reached for his breeches, pulling them down to reveal a thin subligaria that I quickly removed. Ogling him, me took my hands and stepped backward into the water. It was still warm from when it was prepared, making my smile grow, wrapping my arm around Varro's neck as he sank into the water. Kissing him deeply, he seated himself as I straddled his lap. The water felt amazing. It had only been days since I had last been in a pool but this felt amazing. Any moment with Varro was the favorite of my life. Continuing to kiss him, I felt him harden beneath me. He paused his kisses, meeting my eyes. Smiling reassuringly, I dipped my hand under the water, gripping his cock, positioning myself above it. Keeping his eyes, I kissed him sweetly before pushing him up inside of me. Gently rocking against him, the water along with less vigorous movement gave both of us the pleasure we both craved. Continuously kissing, passions rose, making me slowly move faster, my body tingling as his cock rubbed against me. Feeling him release, my head was alive with pleasure, sighing happily as I rested my forehead against his.

"I thought you wanted time." He said softly.

"I'm not a patient woman." I smiled at him.

"Yes you are." He smiled back.

"Not when it comes to being with you." I added and kissed him deeply.

"Do not push yourself." He said with a slight frown as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I won't." I said doing the same with both my hands, running them down the back of his head before resting them on his neck. "I simply can't control myself in your presence." I smiled.

Grinning at me, his lips found mine once more, gentle as we enjoyed each other's company. Each gripping a sponge we started to clean each other, talking all the while, laughing as we teased one another. Gripping my ankle he ran the sponge along the bottom of my foot, making me squirm and attempt to pull away from him. Yanking me back to him, dipping under the surface, I came up to find his face just inches from mine. Pulling my body against his he kissed me deeply.

"I love you." He told me sweetly.

"I love you." I said and kissed him again.

Grabbing towels, wrapping them around ourselves, we laughed, groping each other all the way back to our room. Stepping inside we both stopped, seeing Mira pacing the floor.

"Mira." I smiled at her.

"Lea." She smiled stepping up to me. "I've brought you clothes and a few other things."

"Gratitude." I grinned at her, taking her hands in mine.

"I'll put it with mine." Varro said stepping around us.

"Is everything all right?" I asked Mira.

"Yes." She told me. "I'm simply anxious for what's ahead."

"We will all be fine." I smiled at her. "We have men who love us that will keep us safe."

She grinned and nodded at me. "Well, I'll leave you two to prepare."

"We'll join you and Spartacus presently." I told her, placing a kiss against her cheek.

Smiling, I watched her leave before I dropped the towel that was around me, picking up one of the dresses Mira had brought. It was basically rags, something that would feel more comfortable than the stolas I had been wearing. These were something I was used to. Though I did decide to keep a dress or two in case disguise was needed, but I knew that this would be what I'd be wearing. It was a dark red in color with strips of a dark orange and brown, a tan belt to go along with it. Putting it on, I placed my hair in a side braid, keeping it out of the way.

"You look nice in rebel clothes." Varro said putting his hands on my hips.

"You think so?" I said moving against his still naked form.

"I do." He smiled kissing me gently.

"And you look astounding in nothing." I smiled up at him. "I think you should forget wearing clothes all together." Laughing, he kissed me again before pulling on a pair of breeches. "Why wear breeches?" I asked him. "Spartacus continues to wear a cuirass with very little protective garments. I'm curious why you changed your appearance."

"When I was still just a common Roman I wore their normal attire." He answered as he put the final items that Mira had given me amongst his things. "As a slave I wore a cuirass and subligaria as everyone else. Now that I'm free again I simply wished for another change to signify that."

"I understand." I said wrapping my arms around his waist from behind.

"And they're easier to travel in." He smirked, looking over his shoulder. "But I have other clothes for whatever we should come up against."

"Good." I said kissing him between his shoulder blades. "I want you to be protected when the fighting breaks out."

"I will be." He said putting his arm over mine.

"That and I've always enjoyed seeing you in less." I smiled slowly placing another kiss against his skin.

Shouldering the bags, Varro was quick to take the one I had slung over my shoulder, putting both bags over his before placing them by the door of the room. It wouldn't be long before we moved out. Whether it be this day or the next, moving on was inevitable. Frowning at him, he simply smiled and kissed me before leading the way through the villa. The rest of our company was still looting and packing up what would be useful from the house. Some of the newly freed slaves were distraught over the fall of their master, yet most were grateful. One in particular seemed to be watched more than the others. He was of medium height but held a strong build, with shoulder length black hair and dark eyes. Syrian. I'd seen him before but thought little of him. Now there was something in the way that he looked at Spartacus, Crixus, and Agron that told me something had happened.

"Who is he?" I asked Varro.

"Nasir." He replied.

"You say his name with contempt." I stated.

"The first night we arrived he made attempt on Spartacus' life. It's hard to forgive such an act when we freed him of bondage." He explained further.

"How could he do such a thing?" I frowned at him. "Did he love being a slave so much?"

"He had standing within the house." Agron said stepping up to us. "He fears that without it he is nothing."

"That is not true." I told him. "We are free. What is better than that?"

"You should know." He told me. "Was being a body slave really as good as it seemed to be?"

"It had its moments." I replied. "It wasn't until my heart knew what true love was that I questioned my station. However it gave me the opportunities I needed to pursue what my heart wanted." I added wrapping my arm around Varro.

"Mine needed a little convincing." He smiled at me sweetly.

Laughing lightly, I rested my head against his chest before smiling as Spartacus approached. Wrapping my arm around him, I leaned up and kissed his cheek. He smiled, returning the gesture, his arm finding my waist as he smiled at his brother.

"Are we moving out?" I asked him.

"Soon." He smiled.

"Shall we go over the plans?" Agron asked.

"We shall." Spartacus said before leading the three of us to a more secluded area.

Standing amongst the men, I listened to Agron speak of Vesuvius. It would do well to place the camp there. Spartacus agreed and was also pleased to be in striking distance of Pompeii and also Neapolis. I listened again to the plan to attack the slave ships. We would also do well with an increase in numbers and the strength a ship of trained men would bring would be most advantageous. Though as they spoke I found myself losing myself in thought, afraid of losing the things I cared about most. Placing a kiss against Varro's shoulder, I excused myself from the meeting, finding myself wandering the villa halls until I discovered Crixus sitting alone. Without saying a word, I sat next to him, wrapping my arm around his as I rested my head against his shoulder. A wave of sadness moved over me, feeling tears as I hugged myself closer to his side. Turning his head, he placed a kiss against my forehead, resting it against mine before he looked at the sun shining through the window.

With the sun shining upon us, unable to feel its warmth, we sat in silence, both of us still dealing with the death of Naevia. Crixus more than I, for he lost the love of his life, something that I couldn't touch despite the love I had for my sister. Tears welled and fell as I thought of her and the pain that Crixus was feeling. Reaching for my hand, he took it in his, squeezing it tightly as he placed a kiss against the top of it. He didn't need to say anything for me to understand. Kissing his shoulder, I sighed, wrapping my arm around his shoulder, wanting to comfort him in any way that I could.

"Lea." Spartacus said gently. "May I have a word with Crixus?"

"Of course." I smiled at him. Putting my hand on Crixus' face, I turned his head so he would look at me. "I love you, Crixus." I told him softly. "There are no words to lighten the burden you bear. Know that I share it and will do all I can to help you through this devastating loss."

"The loss is yours as well." He told me with furrowed brows.

"Yes." I nodded with a smile. "But the love the two of you shared outshines the love her and I had. We were family but you were the love of her life. There is little that can touch a love such as yours."

"You have your love." He told me. "Hold on to him. Never let him go."

"I never will." I smiled kissing his forehead.

Standing up, I put my hand against Spartacus' chest, smiling at him before I walked away. Soon I felt a hand on my shoulder, looking to see Caius. Falling in step with me, we walked the halls of the villa, neither of us saying a word.

"We haven't spoken very much since we've arrived." He stated with a soft tone, breaking the silence. Nodding, I didn't reply. "I knew things would be different but I didn't think you'd forget the people who followed you here."

"I haven't forgotten." I frowned at him. "I also have always been straightforward about my intentions. I told you and everyone that this was personal for me. I came looking for Varro. I found him. I'm not letting him go and I won't apologize for it. Not only him but Spartacus and Mira and Crixus and Agron as well, they are my family and I am happy that I am reunited with them."

"I didn't mean to upset you." He told me gently. "I'm simply stating that since we've been here we don't see you anymore."

"It's only been a few days." I frowned harder at him. "I think I'm entitled to that and more to reunite with Varro and my family."

"You are." He nodded.

"Then what are we talking about?" I shot at him.

"We miss you." He replied softly. "That's all I'm trying to tell you."

My frustration melted away and I couldn't help but look at him apologetically. Smiling, he placed a kiss against my cheek and walked away. Feeling guilty, I stood, mentally punishing myself for being so absorbed in Varro and my family. Though the feeling passed as soon as it had come, I shouldn't have to feel guilty. Soon there was an arm around my waist and I leaned against Varro's chest, calming at his touch.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"I'm not sure." I replied turning so I could look into his eyes.

"What did Caius want?" He asked with furrowed brows.

"To make me feel guilty." I told him with a hint of sourness, leaning against his chest, resting my hands on his hips.

"For what?" He frowned.

"For spending too much time with you and the rest of our family." I replied feeling more irritated by the minute.

"He's been far too fond of you since the first time he laid eyes on you."

"Stop. Jealousy will not help anything."

"I'll break words with him. Remind him of his place here." He said with a raised voice, pacing away from me. "Just because he found you first doesn't mean he can claim you as his own. You're mine."

Gripping his arm, I stopped him, speaking softly, "Varro, it doesn't matter what he thinks. He's a friend and things are different now. We all need to adjust."

"I have you back, there is nothing more that I need to adjust to." He retorted, bringing his face close to mine.

"He's not going anywhere, Varro." I stated. "You need to get used to having him around. As well as the others I brought with me. I have grown close to several of them. I am more than content at simply being with you but we have to get used to the people that are close to us."

"I don't like him." He said shaking his head.

"I need you to try." I told him as gently as I could, holding my hands out in front of me. "I owe him and I won't turn my back on him. Or the others. I've told you that."

"And I thought I could accept it." He nodded with his hands on his hips. "But he always comes to you when you're alone. He speaks to you as if you were his lover. I don't like it and you won't let me do anything about it."

"I can handle him."

"You shouldn't have to."

"What would you have me do, Varro? Please tell me." I asked him exasperatingly. He just looked at me. "There is nothing between Caius and me. But the man saved my life, how can I not be grateful for that?"

"You could have waited."

"Waited for what?" I frowned, my stomach clenching, afraid of what he would say next.

"Me."

My stomach dropped as my throat clenched, my time with Paulus flashing in my mind. All the pain and agony I had endured under his roof. "You know not of what you speak." I told him with a small voice, the words being forced passed the lump in my throat.

"You are strong." He frowned at me. "You could have waited for me but instead you let a snake slither inside of you."

Shaking my head at him, he became blurred as I attempted to push back the tears that unwillingly brimmed in my eyes. "Varro, you don't understand what it was like. If you did you would never have spoken those words." I told him, my voice small and thick with emotion. Turning, I quickly walked away from him, hurt and frustrated.

Trudging through the halls, my anger was rising. He had no right to ask me to wait for him. If he had seen me in the condition Paulus had left me in the thought would never have crossed his mind. Even though I had explained what had happened under Paulus's roof, he still didn't understand what I had gone through or what it had felt like. It was pure luck that I wasn't emotionally and physically scared beyond repair. I had kept my mind sound for when I was returned to my love's arms. Only now we were at odds because of the man who had rescued me when he could not find me. Moving without purpose or destination, I didn't stop until I heard my name being called. Turning, I saw Appius rushing toward me.

"Appius, what is it?" I frowned at the boy.

All he replied with was, "You are needed."

Following him as he moved away from me, there was commotion ahead. Entering one of the rooms, I saw Caius fighting against Nasir, both with feral looks on their faces. Rushing forward, I moved between them, feeling pain across my shoulder blade as I shoved Caius away from the Syrian. Spinning, the back of my fist collided with the Syrian's face, forcing him to the floor.

"Enough!" I yelled, the room falling silent. "All of those who traveled with us remain here. As for the rest of you, leave at once." I spoke with a hard tone.

"Apologies." Nasir told me.

"I will have words later." I told him, before he swiftly left the room.

The room grew quiet as I moved in a circle, looking at a hand full of the people I'd left alone since we'd arrived. They all looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to break words. Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, when I finally spoke it was with a kind but even tone.

"Apologies if you think I've abandoned you. I've been preoccupied with the reason I went on this venture. Something that I have not hidden from any of you. My purpose was to find my love and I have done that. I make no apologies for wishing to be with him. However, it seems as if some of you are causing unrest amongst those who already follow Spartacus. This cannot be. We are not to make rifts with those that follow the Bringer of Rain. I have already broken words that he is the true leader and that I will not hold such position within these ranks. So I beg _all_ of you to cease the trouble being caused and fall in line with Spartacus and his followers. For it is only there that you will find what you seek."

"We disagree." Appius spoke with a frown on his face. I looked at him with a deeper frown. "You've led us for weeks. Why should we suddenly disavow you now that we are with the mighty Spartacus?"

"Because he is mighty. He is strong. He is the true leader. I cannot give you what you want." I shot at him, before looking at all the faces in the room. "Have all the words I've broken with you fallen on deaf ears?"

"You have yet to lead us astray." One spoke up from the crowd.

"We have no desire to follow another." Vita added.

"You are all fools." I stated shaking my head.

"Why?"

"What?" I asked turning my head toward Caius.

"Why are we fools for choosing who we want to lead us?" He said stepping up to me, still breathing hard, wiping blood from his lip.

"Because I know nothing about leading people, making the hard decisions, or finding what we need."

"You have been for weeks now." Appius stated.

"Caius has done more than I." I told them, attempting to sway them.

"Not as much as you'd like to think." Caius stated matter-of-factly.

"Do not assist them in making a horrible mistake." I shot at him. "You've already caused enough trouble for one day."

"We don't know it's a mistake." He told me sadly.

"And when you finally realize that it is?" I asked looking from face to face.

"We'll just have to wait and see." Lucius responded as he pushed through the crowd.

"You of all people should want to follow Spartacus." I told him with furrowed brows. "You should want to be with your own people. Brothers. Gladiators."

"I protect you." He told me with a nod.

"I don't want this!" I yelled at them, seeing a few jump. "Why would you push leadership on me when I do not want it?" They all remained silent. "Answer me!" When no answer came, I sighed, wishing they would just leave me alone. "All I want is to be with Varro. This would be a burden to me. Is there nothing I can say to change your minds?"

"Nothing." Vita replied, a murmur of agreement following.

Knowing that this was going nowhere, I scoffed, shaking my head at them as I looked at those around me, seeing their stubbornness. I knew nothing about leading people and here I was, put in the position because people wanted it that way. "Fine. I see there is no persuading you at this time. But from now on there is to be no quarrels with another person under this roof or any roof in the future. We are all fighting for the same cause. It's the Romans we are fighting, not each other. Am I understood?" A unanimous 'yes' moved through the group. "Now go. Make yourselves busy with helping the house prepare for departure."

"I will remain here." Lucius stated, folding his hands in front of him.

"No. Go." I told him. "You're strength is needed elsewhere." He bowed his head before leaving the room. "Caius." I said stopping him from leaving. Antonia and Felix also lingered in the room. "You are intentionally provoking Varro and it needs to stop now. You do not seek me out in shadow and you need to stop speaking to me with as much affection as you do. You are friend and friend alone to me. That has to be enough and if it's not, then perhaps you need to take leave of us."

"Your boy is easy to make jealous." He commented.

"Enough." I told him harshly. "He is the love of my life and the only reason I survived as long as I did. You are simply the friend that rescued me from a horrible situation. Nothing more."

"So you are simply going to go back to ignoring us?" He retorted.

"No. But I will not stand for any more of your antics. You are a friend, a good one, however Varro means more to me than any of you can possibly imagine."

"We miss you." Antonia told me with a small smile.

"You all will be fine with or without me." I told her. "I miss your company but nothing compares to the company of Varro. If that pains you, I apologize. However the words I speak are the truth. My one purpose was to find him and be with him. Little else matters."

"We understand." Felix nodded. "We simply wanted some of your time."

Sighing, I nodded at him, forcing a smile. "Apologies."

"We don't need apologies." Antonia said sadly. "We simply miss the pleasure of your company. We may not be the family you sought out but you are as family to us. You saved us and have made us feel important in the world. We're used to your presence."

Feeling emotion start to catch in my throat I moved to her, taking her hands in mine. "I did not mean to make you feel unimportant. You too are a part of my family. I am simply enthralled with being reunited with Varro and all the others I hold so dear. I will attempt to do better in the future. For it was you, both of you, who helped keep me alive when I was taken from my home and sold to that monster we all called Master." Felix smiled, putting his hand on the side of my head, his thumb moving back and forth across my cheek. "Are you hungry?"

They both nodded, the four of us accompanying each other to fetch a bite of food. Sitting side by side on the steps, we all ate, making small talk about things that didn't matter. I would have been happier talking with Spartacus or simply working through my frustration with Varro. Even hearing the plans of our move would be more satisfactory than the talking I was doing now. But it was necessary. If they were going to make me lead them, the least I could do was oblige them in their wish for my company. It wasn't that I disliked their company; it was just that there didn't seem to be time to spare for it.

"I should apologize for the feelings I hold for you but I can't do it." Caius told me from my side, his voice low.

"And I should apologize for being so cold toward you but I can't do that either." I told him with a kind tone.

"Can we simply promise to do better?" He asked.

Meeting his eyes, I saw the truth in them. "Yes."

When I finally took my leave of them, I meant to seek out Varro only was caught up with angry talk from my people, a fight breaking out in the garden room of the villa. Onlookers called out with excitement as they watched, some moving to shadow to avoid any confrontation. Attempted to call a stop to it, my voice held no meaning to these men; it was Spartacus' voice that finally saw commotion ended.

"We must not fall to quarrel! Vesuvius will serve purpose well. Agron speaks of fighting men to be liberated from Neapolis not far from its banks." Spartacus told them, though they weren't so easily disarmed.

"Agron can suck the piss from my cock." A gladiator shot back at him.

"Too small a drink for a man."

"Fuck you."

Jumping back, I narrowly avoided a collision as the fight was renewed. Spartacus' raised voice once again rang over the sound of them. "Vesuvius offers advantage. From its shadow, we can strike as the ports of Neapolis, ships heavy with warriors captured by the Romans, as many of us once were."

"Let us hear from Crixus!" Liscus exclaimed, the Gauls calling out their agreement.

Turning I saw Agron look at Nasir, a warning in his expression. Frowning, I caught Agron's eye only to have him quickly avert my gaze. The murmuring amongst the men ceased when Crixus' voice filled the air.

"And what would he say?" He asked of Liscus and the other Gauls. "What words would make difference? The ones I have told myself? Ones of hope…and promise of better days. Throat can no longer make such empty noise. It is choked with loss." He said stepping toward the center of the room. "An agony familiar to many of us. Spartacus lost his wife. Yet his fire still burns. Agron, a brother. Yet his fire still burns. We have all lost. We have all seen those held as friend…as family…as lover…fall to the Romans. Yet our fire still burns. And together, we shall ignite and inferno. I move to Vesuvius with Spartacus."

All cheer. Both leaders are in agreement of their course of action. There was no point in staying any longer. Spartacus stated plan to leave come daybreak. We would move to the mountain and then build our forces, spilling as much Roman blood as we could. The group started to disperse and I stood alone with Crixus and Spartacus.

"I find I have little taste for leading people." I told them. Both looked at me questioningly. "The people who followed me here are intent on having me lead them. I am no leader. The two of you are leaders. Even Agron is a better leader than I and now I am faced with the task myself and it turns stomach."

Spartacus smiled and took my hands. "I fear you may be better at it than even I. Your words could move mountains if you so wished it. Every time I make speech I think of you and hope my words hold even an ounce of the power that yours do."

"You flatter." I smiled at him. "There is no need for it. Especially when you speak with false tongue. My words aren't nearly as powerful as you think they are or I would not find myself in the position I have."

"You will do well for them as leader." Crixus said putting his hand on my shoulder. "You will also have brothers willing to offer advice and assistance along the way."

"Gratitude." I smiled at him before it faded from my lips. "Though I fear the weight of it is unbearable. Varro is my only concern and yet these people demand time and words that I do not wish to give."

"Those are the most selfish words you've ever spoken." Spartacus grinned at me. "I've only ever known you to be selfless."

"I've been practicing." I smirked at him.

"A love such as yours and Varro's will see you well satisfied. But you may also find satisfaction in leading those who follow you. You are far more important than you realize. Something I've known since I first met you." Crixus added.

"Again with flattery." I frowned at him. "I wish to be of worth and to help with the rebellion, however leading people has never crossed my mind."

"You are a changed woman." Spartacus smiled.

"Not as much as you'd think. I've always been selfish where Varro is concerned." I told him. "I am selfless; however I have never been in a position such as this."

"Embrace it. You may yet find surprise in yourself." He stated.

Sighing heavily, I nodded at him, finally replying with annoyance, "Fine."

Both men laughed, both wrapping an arm around me. "Where is Varro?" Spartacus asked me.

"I do not know." I told him. "I left him in our room."

"I've seen that look before." He frowned. "What has he done to upset you?"

"He spoke jealous words about Caius' and my relationship. I attempted to disarm him with pleasing words but the words he spoke in return stung deep. He claimed that I could have waited for him to arrive while under Paulus's roof." Both frowned at me. "If you know even a fraction of what happened to me while there you can understand that waiting was not an option. It was gift from the gods that Caius appeared to rescue me."

"His jealousy will pass." Spartacus told me. "You were too long from his arms."

"I will kill him." Crixus said, his eyes moving toward where Caius and Antonia were walking past.

"I am almost swayed to let you." I told him. "I call him friend and yet fear I do not know the man as well as I think I do."

"If he makes offense against you again I will have his life." Crixus stated.

Smiling, I put my hand on his face. "Gratitude."

"I will also see it done." Spartacus frowned, his eyes moving to the man.

"I appreciate your concern but I am capable of taking care of myself. I've been learning from a gladiator during nights past. I am not as weak I was when I was sold." I smiled at them.

"I long to see you put to the test." Spartacus smiled.

"I would most certainly fail." I told him. "But I am learning."

"Good." He said putting his hand on the side of my head. "Now go make amends with Varro. We both know that you cannot stay mad at him."

"Even now I am not mad at him." I told him with furrowed brows. "I am hurt by his words. There is difference, Spartacus."

"He didn't mean anything by it." He told me. "Believe me when I tell you that he would do nothing to risk his relationship with you. You are the reason he yet breaths. And he is yours. A bond as strong as that is not easily broken."

Smiling, my eyes fell upon the frown on Crixus' face. Putting my hand on his face, I rubbed his cheek as I smiled at him. "Naevia felt the same for you." I told him. "Even now she watches over you, ever your guardian." He smiled but I knew it was only for my benefit. Kissing his cheek, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "We will have our revenge." I whispered in his ear, his arms tightening around me.

Soon both men were called away, leaving me standing alone. Hoping to remain so, I was always disappointed when my name was called. Turning toward its sound, I saw Otho approaching.

"Lea." He said with a bow of his head.

"What is it?" I asked kindly.

"There is complaint of not having enough space to rest." He told me.

"Your thoughts?"

"There is plenty. Spartacus has been more than accommodating. They are simply used to too much space back at Caius' villa. I fear it will take your voice to see quarrel to its end."

Smiling, I nodded at him, following him to where our people stood huddled, shoving beginning as the fighting started to commence. Rushing forward, I shoved two men apart frowning at the lot of them with disappointment.

"Spartacus welcomes us with open arms and this is how you fucking repay?" I shot at them. "The space provided is more than enough. We are the last to join ranks and we will willingly accept what is offered to us. You have food, water, clothes, and protection. What more could you ask of the Rebels? Or of anyone else for that matter? We are far from Caius' villa. There is no luxury here or anywhere else we are going. Spartacus himself stops quarreling amongst his men. I thought highly enough of you all to not expect the same." There was a murmured apology. "Enough with your bickering for you will find no tolerance of it here. Heed my words or you will all fall to ruin and I will do nothing to stop it. There is no time to fight amongst ourselves. If it's a fight you seek, save it for the Romans. Am I understood?" They all murmured their agreement. "Do not disappoint me or you will find your lives here even further diminished." Walking away, footfalls followed, looking over my shoulder to see Appius close at heel. "What is it?"

"Are you in need of anything?" He asked.

"I am not." I told him. "If you wish to be useful be my eyes and ears amongst our people. Come to me with anything you hear so I may take action if necessary."

"Gratitude." He told me with a broad smile.

"And Appius? Put Lucius and Otho to the same task that I have given you. Tell them that they must keep the peace. I trust them to do what's best. But if anything concerning occurs, come to me."

"Lea." He said with a bow of his head before rushing back to our people.

Taking a calming breath, I remembered my wanting to break words with Nasir. Seeking him out, happy to find him packing his things alone in his chambers. Making myself known, he looked at me with apprehension, seemly already knowing why I was there.

"Hello." I smiled at him.

"Lea." He said softly with an air of respect. I couldn't deny that the sound pleased me, despite my thoughts on leading the people and being important. "What can I do for you?"

"I am simply curious about the man who made attempt on Spartacus' life, yet seems to have found high standing with Agron. A Syrian no less. I will admit that I have never known a trustworthy Syrian."

"I was a fool to make attempt on Spartacus. My eyes are now open to his cause." He told me.

"What opened your eyes?" I asked him, crossing my arms. He smiled, a gentle blush coming to his cheeks. Grinning, I nodded at him. "Agron tells me you were your Dominus' body slave. Is that true?"

"Yes." He replied. "I had position and worth. It was a hard thing to let go of."

"I understand." I nodded at him. He simply looked at me. Turning, I reached my hand up, touching the top of the mark of my former Domina upon the back of my shoulder. "I understand better than many among us."

"You too were body slave?" He said with a small smile.

"I was a trusted body slave." I nodded at him with a smile. "I was trusted to overlook all happenings of the house. I was sent to market alone with only guards to escort me. There were moments where I felt as if I held as much worth as the Romans who visited our home. I felt as if anything were possible." He nodded at me with a sad smile. "It was also my position that allowed me to meet Varro. To meet Spartacus. It was my position that allowed me to be close to them and I have never been more grateful for anything in my entire life." His smile grew and he nodded again. "I understand how hard it is to let go of." I said stepping toward him. "But the difference in our life before and our life now is that we are _free_. We are free and are able to feel everything that we were denied of before. I am free to love Varro like I was never able to before. You are able to fall in love like you were never able to before." I told him now with a broad grin on my face. "We are able to fight for it. To make our own decisions. To have a say in how we live our lives. No one is telling us what to do. We answer to no one but ourselves. Spartacus has given us all of that and more. To not see what he's doing and follow him would be an injustice."

"I wasn't questioning you." He smiled.

"Apologies," I smiled, blushing.

"I have a feeling that you needed to say it more for your benefit than mine."

Sighing, I nodded. "You're probably right. But I am also passionate about the cause we're all fighting so hard for."

Putting his hands on my arms, he smiled, "I am with you." Smiling, I nodded at him. "Agron has spoken of the power your words hold." Shaking my head at him, I now found it hard to form words. "It's a pleasure to feel their power for myself."

"Varro does not care for you." I told him honestly. "But I must admit that I have a feeling that I will grow quite fond of you." Laughing, he nodded and turned back to his things. Something crossed his face and I couldn't help but find my smile faltering. "What is it?" I asked him. He turned back to me, opening his mouth to reply, when we were interrupted.

"Nasir." Agron said appearing in the doorway.

"Agron." Nasir replied, the look disappearing from his face.

"Lea." Agron smiled, putting his hand on my arm as he kissed my cheek.

"Agron." I smiled up at him. Looking between the two, I knew it was time to take my leave. "Enjoy the night." I told them before walking away.

It seemed the day passed without me realizing it. Night had fallen and most took to their beds, others lingering to take part in a game of chance. Part of me thought I'd find Varro partaking in their antics but I had yet to see him since breaking words this morning. The look on his face and the tone of his voice lingered in my mind, making forgiveness hard to come by. It was late into the night when I returned to the room I shared with him. He was sleeping, my place at his side open and waiting for me. His words moved through my mind and I found myself turning from him. I didn't think I could sleep next to him tonight. Moving through the villa, I quickly entered where Crixus lay, knowing he was alone and just as in need of comfort as I was. Lying next to him, he stirred and looked at me. Smiling at him sadly, he simply wrapped an arm around me and fell back asleep. Attempting to do the same, I let the sound of his breathing be what lulled me to sleep.


	7. The Mines

_**Chapter Seven: The Mines**_

Waking while the sun was still down, I couldn't sleep any longer, my thoughts too heavy to allow any rest to come. Once again walking the grounds, I took a sword from our growing armory, slipping out the gates and into the wood. Keeping the villa in sight, I took what Lucius was teaching and started to practice. It took discipline to grow skill and I intended on becoming as accomplished a fighter as I could be. It was a welcome distraction from the pain I was feeling.

Having gouged the sides out of a tree, my arms were feeling the strain. Sighing, I lowered the sword, hearing steps from behind me. Turning, I saw Mira with a smile on her face. "You've learned much."

"It serves as a nice distraction." I smiled back at her.

"Tell me what's bothering you." She said kindly.

"Varro." I told her, his words still weighing heavily on my mind. "The words he spoke still salt gravest wounds."

"Spartacus broke words upon subject." She said sadly.

"Is there nothing he doesn't tell you?" I grinned at her.

"No." She smiled. "We have no secrets."

"Neither do me and Varro." I nodded at her.

"He knows what you were forced to endure and yet he still expected you to wait for him?" She frowned.

Feeling strength return to my arms, I quickly put several more gouges into the trees trunk. "He's jealous. He has no founding for it and yet he can't control himself."

"You were too long from his arms." She told me sadly.

"Spartacus said the same thing." I smiled at her. "But I've returned to his arms. I will never be from him again and yet he feels -" Cutting myself off, I scoffed and shook my head. "I don't know what he feels." I told her, emotion making my chest clench. "I don't know what he feels." I repeated, throwing the sword to the ground before dropping to my knees. "I feel everything and yet I haven't asked him what he's feeling. All I've done is grow angry with him and storm away. I have yet to allow him to speak his mind."

She dropped onto her knees in front of me. "Maybe he's afraid to speak his mind. He doesn't want you to see him in pain. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to be safe and in his arms."

"But that is exactly where I am." I replied with furrowed brows.

"No." She smiled gently. "You're alone in the woods with a sword in hand. He's waiting for you and you're avoiding him because he said something he shouldn't. You need to break words with him on the subject and put the subject to rest."

"There isn't time to break the words that we must." I told her.

"Make time." She said taking my hands in hers.

Nodding, I took a deep breath, forcing a smile. Leaning forward, she placed a kiss against my cheek before standing and walking away. Deciding that she was right, I got to my feet, moving back inside the villa grounds. About to seek out Varro, I instead was caught up in the packing of the house. Assistance being requested, stalling me from what I should be doing. Though, helping my people prepare to leave, the morning seemed to drag on. The longer I helped the more my desire to speak to Varro seemed to lessen. I wanted to make peace with him. I wanted to be and happy and yet asking me to wait for him had struck a chord so strong, I found it hard to simply forgive him. I had been tortured, raped, and beaten. One doesn't simply wait for their love to rescue them when opportunity arises.

"Gratitude." Vita told me, both our limbs shaking from lifting a heavy trunk.

"I would have thought Junius would be helping you." I commented, knowing the two had grown close.

"He is tending to Junia. She is having a rough morning with all the dust in the air from all the movement." She replied. "I told him I'd take care of his things."

"You're a kind woman." I smiled at her.

"It's what you would have done." She smiled back at me.

Laughing lightly, I nodded at her. It was something that I would do. Talking about trivial things, it was a nice moment. The first moment where Varro wasn't a constant on my mind. But it seemed every good moment was ruined with shouts of anger or violence. Straightening from the packing we were doing, I listened as a voice rang through the villa. Recognizing it as Crixus', his voice filled the villa, Agron's name being screamed with such fierceness that I was running before he had finished saying his name. I could hear it in his voice, something was amiss. Rushing into the open grassy area of the villa, I was in time to see Crixus throw himself at Agron. Rushing forward, I gripped Crixus' arm as he was pulled off of the German, putting my hand on Agron's chest as he attempted to come at the Gaul again, despite being held back.

"What's the meaning of this?" I asked, looking at Agron. He remained silent as he looked at Crixus with disdain. "Agron." I frowned.

Spartacus took Crixus' head in his hands, frowning heavily at him, "Have you lost mind?"

"Regained heart." The Gaul replied. "Naevia lives."

"Crixus." I said moving to his side, gripping his arm.

"How do you come by this?" Spartacus asked releasing him.

"The boy Nasir. The slaver told not of her death, but of her suffering in the mines." He replied with his eyes on Agron. My eyes followed as well. This explained what Nasir was hiding.

"An equal fate." Agron stated angrily.

Spartacus turned to his brother, anger written on his face. "Why would to bear false tongue when a life holds in the balance?"

"What of our lives? What of our lives?! Crixus has no thought towards any but Naevia and would have us all meet our end in foolish attempt on the mines. I did what was needed to be done, Spartacus. You must see this." He replied.

"It was not a decision for you to make!" I yelled punching him hard. He turned and looked at me with furrowed brows but there was no regret in his expression. "It is not just Crixus who seeks reunion with Naevia. She is like sister and you made me think her dead!"

Spartacus put his arm across me, gently moving me backward where I felt Crixus' hands on my arms. "A lie for the greater good." He said calmly before he punched Agron, speaking again with anger in his words, "One that would never have passed lips had it been your brother Duro in her place. If a single life holds no value…then none are of worth!" Pausing, he turned to take in the people around him. Nodding, I stood straighter, ready for anything that might transpire. "I stand with Crixus and will see Naevia from bondage."

Agron stepped forward, his mind was set. "I will not fucking die for this. I move for Vesuvius. Those that would live…join me." He told the crowd before walking away.

It surprised me how many moved to follow Agron. Despite that three of four leaders were remaining to seek out Naevia, all but the Gauls and a handful of others remained to stand with us. There were also those that followed me, leaving our numbers still lacking. Quickly making ready, dressing in slavers clothes, the group heading to the mines were assembling at the slavers wagon, posing as the slavers and guards from the raid of the previous day.

"I want you to take our people and move out with Agron." I told Caius.

"No." He frowned at me. "My place is by your side."

Putting my hand on his chest, I stepped closer to him, speaking with a quiet voice. "I need you to do this, Caius. I cannot take women and children to the mines. They cannot fight and they will only be in the way. We will reunite with you as soon as Naevia is free. I leave you in charge in my absence."

"You need to be the one to tell them." He told me.

Nodding, I moved to where our people stood, huddled as the others moved around busily. "Are you all prepared to move?" I asked, getting a nod from everyone. "Good. You are to accompany Caius as he follows Agron on the road to Vesuvius." Disgruntled murmuring quickly broke out. "I order you to do so. It is the safer path and one that you all must take. I will reunite with you once we've freed Naevia from the mines. Heed Caius for he will not lead you astray." I told them and paused. "Gratitude for all you have done. Now go. Agron is already moving out." Nearly all did as they were told. There were only three who still stood before me. "Felix, do not be brave. Go to Antonia and keep her safe." He nodded and quickly moved off. "Lucius. Otho." I grinned. "I appreciate your company but you should help guard our people."

"They have many gladiators accompanying them. You have fewer and are at greater risk. We will stay with you." Otho told me.

He was a man of little words and to have him speak so strongly made me simply smile, unable to argue with him. "Gratitude." I told him with a nod.

Rejoining the others, I placed a hand on Nasir's shoulder, smiling at him, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I can be of assistance. It's the least I can do for what Spartacus has given me." He replied.

"It is not just Spartacus who is grateful." I told him.

"Crixus is a good man. No one should have to go through what he did, especially when it was knowingly done so."

"He is grateful for your honesty." I nodded.

"Let's hope we are not too late." He smiled and pulled himself up into the front of the wagon.

Walking to the back of it, I was about to pull myself up when I heard my name. I didn't know why, but my stomach dropped at the sound of his voice. Turning, Varro was striding toward me. "We move for the mines." I told him.

"Spartacus has told me." He frowned. "Naevia lives."

"Yes, and we are going to free her." I stated.

"Why didn't you come to me?" He asked. "I've been looking for you and everyone seems to be trying to keep me at a distance."

"There were other matters to attend to." I replied as I took a step to the side.

"Lea." He repeated as he gently took my arm.

"Varro." I said without meeting his eyes. "I apologize but I cannot do this right now. I need to focus on saving Naevia."

"I'll be at your side." He said gently, tentatively putting his hand up to my face, lifting my chin so I met his eyes.

"There are many words that need to be broken." I told him.

"There will be time after Naevia is rescued." He nodded.

Nodding back, I turned and joined the others, Varro right behind me. Climbing into the back of the wagon, we quickly set out for the mines. The ride was quiet, no one speaking unless it was about what was to be done once we arrived. Otho and Lucius sat on either side of Varro and me. All the while my love held tight to my hand, a sense of worry flowing from him. Despite my hurt feelings, I felt the need to comfort him, gently running my fingers through his hair as I placed a kiss upon his temple. He leaned into my touch, seemingly afraid it would be the last time he felt it. Placing a long kiss against his shoulder, I looked up at him, giving him a small reassuring smile.

Thinking I was ready to arrive at the mines, when we moved through the gates, my stomach started to turn and I felt as if I was going to be sick. When the wagon stopped, we heard footsteps, Nasir appearing before us as he pulled the canvas aside.

"Do I give coin to sit upon ass? See them from the fucking wagon!" Nasir ordered.

"Is this the stock from Ferox?" The overseer asked. "Two days past expected delivery. Two fucking days!"

"Apologies –" Nasir started.

"I do not know you. Where is Ferox?"

"Dead. We were set upon by Spartacus and his shits, the reason for our delay and Ferox's permanent absence." Nasir fluently lied.

For a moment it looked as if the overseer was going to react poorly, making all our eyes dart to each other's, a warning should things go awry. Varro's hand gripped my wrist, almost painfully, his anxiousness flowing from him.

"Still yourself." I whispered to him still staring at the ground, my hands still folded in front of myself. His grip loosened and he took his hand back, gripping his own wrist as he too stared at the ground.

Before any more action could be taken the overseer laughed, easing some of the tension of the Rebels. "I have wished the man to grass for many years. Yet he fucks me from the afterlife. Schedule now teeters upon brink, with little hope of regaining balance."

"Yes, again, apologies. I—" Nasir started again.

Before he could finish Mira stepped out from her place in line. "Mira." I said only to be struck across my cheekbone, feeling the skin break open. "Don't." I whispered harshly to Varro as he was about to make move to defend me. Getting back to my feet, I continued to stare at the ground, feeling blood slowly slid down my cheek.

"Am I to present myself now?" Mira asked with a bowed head, though I watched her eyes meet Spartacus'.

"Yes. Yes! A special offering, to compensate your troubles." Nasir said putting his arm out toward Mira.

Mira's expression was of apology and of fear as she kept her eyes locked with Spartacus'. She already regretted her decision but there was little she could do as the overseer stepped up to her.

"Wait here. Rotten cunt serves no trade." The overseer said before he gripped her arm, pulling her into his tent.

Minutes seemed to drag by, making me anxious for Mira. Meeting Varro's eyes, we both looked at Spartacus who looked on the verge of breaking. "Mira has been gone too long." Spartacus whispered, catching the notice of a guard.

"You there. From where to you hail?"

"Sicilia." Spartacus lied.

"I have seen you before…somewhere." The guard replied as his mind was starting to make the connection. "The arena."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth the attack was on. Spartacus quickly dispatched the guard before others started to rush toward us, swords in hand. Varro shoved me backward before darting forward, stripping a guard of his sword and shoving it into his stomach. Gripping the hilt of a fallen guard's knife, I pulled it free before rushing into the tent to see Mira stabbing the life out of the overseer.

"I see I'm too late." I told her with a small smile.

"Come." Mira said rushing from the tent.

A guard confronted us with sword drawn. Gripping his wrist before he could bring his arm down, I thrust the knife into his heart, shoving his body off of it before feeling my arm grabbed. Turning, I looked up into Varro's face, relief filling me as he thrust his sword into another guard's belly.

"Mira." Spartacus called, taking her arm as he looked at the blood that covered her hands.

"It is Roman blood." She told him.

"We should move." I said quickly.

"Did he know of her? Does Naevia live?" Crixus asked.

"She does." Mira smiled at him.

"Mannus, Plenus, assume their mantle. Make it known if any become aware of our presence." Spartacus said to two of the gladiators.

"Into the mines. Quickly." Crixus told us.

Looking up at Varro, we quickly entered the mines, ducking and twisting as we followed Mira. Turning a corner, I came face to face with a guard, quickly stabbing the knife into the side of his neck, blood spurting, drenching my hand and running down my wrist. Pulling his sword from his dying grasp, I swiftly followed Mira, eager to find my sister.

"Which way do we go?" Crixus asked when we came to a fork in the road.

"They should both lead us there. This one the shorter path." Mira replied,

"I would double odds toward goal." Spartacus said turning and ordering a handful of Rebels behind us, "Take the longer path. Move quietly. Varro, lead them."

Varro looked at me with worried eyes. Nodding at him, he quickly moved down the other path. Glaring at Spartacus, he pulled me in front of him before we trudged forward. We moved through water and mud, water falling from the ceiling, our bodies' slick with both as we looked from slave to slave, trying desperately to find Naevia. All the while Spartacus was looking around him at all the slaves and the condition they were in, the sight of them pulling at his empathy.

"We must see them freed." He said his eyes staring at the sight before him.

"We do not have time for this." I told him.

"There are too many of them." Crixus added. "We would be discovered."

Spartacus spoke aloud, though it wasn't to any one person. It was to all of them. "Live, and know I will return."

Keeping moving, my mind was racing, not only with worry for Naevia but with worry for Varro. Spartacus simply sent him away from me. I didn't know what was happening to him or what he was facing. Hearing a yell, I turned and ran through a guard, releasing a yell of my own. Breathing hard, I started, coming face to face with Spartacus. Frowning at him, I moved to go around him but he stopped me.

"There is no time for this." I told him annoyed.

"I did it for his own good. For your own good." He told me. Frowning harder at him, I once again attempted to move round him. "He would worry about you and only you if he were here."

"You sent him away from me." I frowned at him. "We are quarreling and words need to be broken but I need him. I need him, Spartacus. I need him."

"Nothing is going to happen to him." He told me.

Continuing to frown, I moved around him, joining Crixus in finding Naevia. Both of us screaming her name, hoping to see her simply look up and smile at us, happy to be found.

"Where is she?" I asked from Crixus' side, running my fingers through my hair.

"We will find her." He said gripping my arm.

Putting my hand on his face, I nodded at him. At the same moment Nasir called out for Crixus, saying he had found a slave with the mark of her domina upon back. Crixus and I looked at each other before we both ran to where Nasir was.

"Naevia." Crixus said slowly moving toward the slave in question, seeing the tattoo on her back. "Naevia?"

From the side a woman lunged at him, presumably defending Naevia. Darting forward, I gripped her arms, struggling with her before Nasir took her from my arms, holding her tightly as she started to cry. Looking at her sadly, my eyes moved to where Crixus was bent down behind Naevia, running his hands across her shoulder blades and down her arms.

"You are safe." Crixus told her as he moved his hands down to hers. "You are safe now. I'm here. I'm here."

Turning to look at him with weeping eyes, she looked relieved, "Crixus?"

Wrapping his arms around her, she pressed herself against him. "Forgive me. Forgive me for what I have done." He told her softly.

"Naevia." I said breathlessly, putting my folded hands against my mouth.

Feeling Spartacus' hands on my shoulders, he pulled me against his chest placing a kiss into my hair. Though the moment was cut short as yells filled the tunnel and Roman soldiers started to spill into it. Spartacus turned and immediately dispatched as many as he could as he told the rest of us to go. Both Crixus and I froze when Ashur came into view. Crixus yelled his name but Spartacus yelled for him to go. Refusing to leave him, I once against picked up sword and lunged forward, spilling the blood of two Romans before Spartacus yanked me away from them, ushering me through the tunnels. A moment later there was the sound of a collapse as Spartacus caused a cave in, buying us a moment's head start.

"Wait!" Mira exclaimed. "There's a runoff. It empties out of the other side of the mine."

"Which path do we take?" Spartacus asked. "Quickly!"

"This way." She said leading us down another tunnel, only for it to come to a dead end.

"Mira." I said as my heart started to race.

"She leads us to our fucking death." A gladiator growled.

"Mira." I repeated putting my hand on her shoulder.

She was starting to panic, her hands shaking as she attempted to find her mistake. Spartacus rushed forward, speaking to her as kindly as he could. "Take breath, and gain your bearing."

Taking a deep breath, Mira nodded and looked at the map once more. "A turn missed. It will take us to the water." She said turning back the way we had come. It was only a few feet when she realized the missed turn. "Here." She said moving down the tunnel.

"Move! Stay together." Spartacus called and we were all on the move again.

Coming to the gate we were searching for, the guard was quick to rush through the gate and lock us in. Spartacus was just as quick to react, launching a small axe, killing the guard, the keys falling to the ground. My eyes grew wide but there was only a second to process before Romans were flooding the small room. Fighting side by side with the gladiators, I was finally able to spill the Roman blood that I had so desperately craved. Blood ran freely down my arms, splattering against my chest, neck, and face as I slashed and cut every Roman that entered my path. All the while Mira struggled to reach the keys.

"Back here! They are by the gate!" A solider yelled.

"I will give them pause…so you may slip from grasp." Crixus said as he pushed Naevia into Spartacus' arms. "See Naevia to safety!"

"Crixus." I said watching him.

"No." Naevia said reaching out for Crixus. "No!"

"Crixus!" Spartacus said, clearly torn with what to do.

"See it done, brother!" Crixus said as he started fighting the soldiers again.

"Lea!" Spartacus called.

"Go!" Crixus yelled at me.

"I'm not leaving you." I told him. "And I am not leaving without Varro."

Distracted, a soldier rushed me, knocking me to the ground. Lying on my back, I put my foot against his chest, forcing him backward. Swiftly getting to my feet, I moved to run him through when a sword appeared through his chest. Frowning, the soldier fell to reveal Varro behind him. Laughing out loud, I nodded at him, getting his beautiful smile in return. Though in the next moment my stomach dropped as a guard came up behind him. Rushing forward, he reached out for me just as I reached for him. Only instead of the embrace he was expecting, I yanked him past me, removing him from harm's way, feeling the sword glide through my side, my breath catching in the process.

"Spartacus!" I yelled before skewering the soldier with my sword.

Turning, I saw Mira with Naevia and Spartacus was already gripping Varro's arms, pulling him backward. Smiling, knowing that he knew what I wanted, I watched as he pulled Varro through the gates before locking it behind us. Turning, I ran through another soldier before I was struck hard across the jaw, blood filling my mouth as I landed hard on my stomach.

"LEA!" Varro screamed.

Varro looked at me with wide eyes, knowing that this could be the last time we looked upon each other. He fought against Spartacus who was struggling to pull him away. My eyes filled with tears at the sight of him, one sliding down my cheek.

"Go." I told him as I was grabbed and yanked to my knees, my hair gripped as cold steel was placed at my throat. More tears fell as Varro's scream filled the air. A sound I had hoped to never hear again. "Spartacus." I said looking at him.

"Varro, we must go." Spartacus told him.

"GO!" I screamed at him. "Please." I added with tears streaming, nodding with a small smile on my face. Spartacus nodded at me before pulling him away from the gate and out of sight. "I love you." I said sadly even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

Watching Rhaskos get taken, Crixus was overcome, being forced to his knees at my side. Looking at each other, tears ran from my eyes as I watched blood pool in his mouth, running from the corner of it. Smiling, I nodded at him, the people we loved the most were safe. If this was the price we paid for that then so be it. In the next moment both of us were struck over the head and darkness ensued.


	8. Home

_**Chapter Eight: Home**_

Pain was the first thing I was aware of as I started to wake. The wagon jostled me, making me sit up quickly, my eyes darting around. A hand moved to my knee and I looked into Crixus' face. His eye was swollen and his face was still bloody, though he smiled at me before placing a kiss against my temple. Resting my head against his shoulder, I shut my eyes, trying to not be depressed about our latest predicament.

When the wagon finally stopped, I lifted my head, wiping my eyes as I attempted to hide the redness that my tears had caused. The back opened and hoods were quickly put over our heads and we were forced from the wagon. There was the sound of hooves and our own feet as we trudged forward in the irons they had placed us in. They were heavy and bulky, making walking difficult. It took all my focus not to fall, making me feel like I was near death as my side throbbed with every move I made. When we finally stopped, I stood breathing heavily through the hood, my heart pounding in my ears. I heard a soldier say Praetor and I knew we were in the company of Glaber.

"This is all that stand captured?" Glaber said disappointedly.

"Many more lay dead in the mines." His soldier told him.

There were footsteps coming closer, making my heart start to race as they slowly moved closer to me. Then the hood was pulled from my head, my eyes squinting in the sudden light before falling upon Glaber's face in front of mine. Looking to either side I realized there were four of us. Acer, Rhaskos, Crixus and myself.

"Where is Spartacus?" Glaber asked.

"He fled into the woods with a clutch of slaves. Marcus gives chase."

Laughing, the soldier stepped up to me, punching me hard, sending me to the ground. "Enough." Glaber said as he pulled me to my feet. "Were his words funny?"

"You will never get Spartacus." I told him. "The next time you face him, he will end your life."

Frowning, he struck me, sending my back to the ground. "Alert me the moment he is sighted upon road." Glaber stated as he walked away. "To the cells."

Being pulled to my feet, I looked at my old home, finding it the same as we were dragged into the ludus and to the cells. The men were put into one cell while I was thrown into one across from them, all of us still in shackles.

The guards left and Acer's laugh filled the room. "Again to this house of piss and shit."

"A fate I alone should bear." Crixus told him.

"The risk was known to us all." Rhaskos stated.

"Fuck risk, and fuck the fucking Romans. I stand with you in this life and the next." Acer told him.

"As do I."

It was sweet to hear their words but I couldn't help but feel depressed. All I wanted was to see Varro again. Then another voice joined theirs. One that was very unexpected.

"The bonds of brotherhood. They have always run deep within these walls."

"Oenomaus." Crixus said with shock. "What has happened? How did you come here?"

"I was a fool…that now stands in fellow company."

"Their fault lies only in following me on impossible journey. Naevia lives. We liberated her from the mines."

"Love. You fall to ruin for love."

"She is my heart."

"She is a woman…a delicate creature at the best of times. They are moved by desires unknown by the men that place trust in them."

"She lives. That is all that matters."

"You speak as if you did not know a woman's love." I spoke up from my cell. "Or a woman's trust."

"Lea." He said with a small smile.

As happy as I was to see him, I couldn't help but feel annoyed by his words. "Crixus is not the only to fall to ruin for love." I frowned at him.

"Varro yet lives." He stated.

"Yes, only he would have fallen in the mines had I not sacrificed myself to make sure he remained free." I explained.

"Why would you make such a sacrifice? Varro would have died for you in an instant."

"And I would die before I let him." I frowned and moved away from the bars, sitting in a corner.

"What happened to you when you left with Paulus?"

"Nothing worth breaking words over." I replied blandly.

"You were mistreated." He stated sadly.

"Every day."

"Apologies for not trying harder to keep you here."

"There was nothing you could have done, Oenomaus." I told him sadly. "I brought it on myself and I suffered the consequences for it. Caius rescued me, nursed me back to health, and helped me find Varro and the others. He funded my cause and allowed me to free and house slaves while I searched for my love."

"You've become a leader?"

Laughing, I shook my head. "I am no leader. Though those I freed try and convince me otherwise. I've made few decisions as a leader. I've simply done enough to ensure they are fed and clothed until I could bring them before a true leader. Spartacus." No reply came and soon the room grew quiet as we all sat, waiting for our fates to be decided.

The hours grew long and we remained where we were, seemingly left for dead. Shifting, I frowned, remembering the stab wound I'd endured while saving Varro. Looking down, I felt the wound, knowing that if it wasn't tended to it would be sure to fester. As if my thoughts were being read, there was the sound of feet and the door to my cell was opened. Lucretia entered with a bowl of water and cloth, as well as the medicine needed to cleanse my wound.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because you are to die in the arena for my pleasure. Not a moment before." She replied.

"Gratitude." I told her kindly.

She did not speak again. I dared to hope that she still held an ounce of affection toward me. Naevia had delivered the ultimate betrayal by loving the same as our master. My only transgression was loving a gladiator that no one cared about. No one of import to those in this house. None other than Spartacus.

When Lucretia took her leave, silence once again prevailed. There was nothing we could do but sit and wait until we were put into the arena. Put to death in the same place that the men had once called home. The arena was the one place where they thrived and now it would be the place of their death. Something they had all once dreamed of. But we'd all tasted freedom. We would not die without a fight.

"Lea." Crixus' voice drifted over to me late in the night.

"Brother." I replied with a smile. At least I would be with him when I died.

"I will protect you from harm." He said sweetly. "I will not let you fall in the arena."

"You won't have a choice." I stated, my smile growing. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't even try. I will only cause you to drop your guard then you will be the one who falls. Naevia needs you. Now more than ever. She's been through more than we could possibly know. Her reaction to your touch alone makes it so."

"Varro needs you."

"Yes, he does. But he is strong. He'll survive."

"No. Not after having you back and then losing you again so soon. He will more than likely end his life if you were to die."

"He's promised me he wouldn't." I told him, doubt filling me as I stepped up to the bars, seeing Crixus doing the same. "My death would be in vain if he did such a thing."

"Love causes us to do things we never thought possible." He said softly.

"At least you're here with me." I told him forcing a smile on my face. "I am grateful for it."

"And I for you."

"You both are fools." Oenomaus's voice said coldly.

"You would have done anything for Melitta." I shot at him. "How are Crixus' and my situations any different?"

"There are things you do not know." He stated.

"Name them to ease my ignorance." I demanded of him.

"She betrayed me." He stated coldly.

"She loved you more than anything." I frowned. "She would never."

"She did." He replied sadly. "With Gannicus."

"She wouldn't."

"Then you didn't know her as well as you thought you did either."

"Oenomaus…" I said sadly.

"We'd all be better off if we had never loved at all."

"No." I told him forcefully, dropping to my knees to see him better. "Knowing the love that we have makes death more bearable. I am complete. Varro's love means more to me than anything. Feeling his love, reciprocating it, makes all of this hold meaning. For I not only fought for my freedom. I fought for love. Fought to keep the ones I love alive and well. If I die in the arena, I'll know that nearly all my loved ones are safe and free."

"You are a fool." Oenomaus repeated.

"Yes. But I'd rather be a fool in love than a bitter man who's given up all hope." I retorted and returned to my corner, silence once again filling the room.

The sun had come and gone before anyone came to us again. We were denied food and given just enough water to wet the tongue. Enough so we wouldn't die before the Games. My stomach felt as if it were trying to eat itself from the inside, making sleep hard to come by. I watched as guards went to the men's cell, taking all, even Oenomaus.

"Where are you taking them?" I asked as I rushed to the bars.

"Shut up!" One yelled at me, hitting my fingers.

"Stop! Where are you taking them?" I exclaimed as they were taken from my sight. "Crixus! CRIXUS!" It was no use.

Pacing away from the bars, wrapping my arms around myself, I waited for them to be returned. I hated not knowing what was happening to them. I didn't know what I would do if they were harmed. Crixus. Oenomaus. They had to be returned. Several more hours passed before I once again heard the sound of footfalls. All were present, all except Acer.

"Where's Acer?" I asked when the guards left.

"They're going to kill him." Crixus stated as sat down against the wall. "For Roman sport."

Sighing, I did the same. "When are we going to be put to death? I can't take this solitude much longer."

"I do not know." Crixus replied sadly.

Finding a small measure of sleep, my mind was full of blood and sand, a thirst for vengeance that enveloped me like a warm blanket. The dangers of what our life had become forming into dark shapes, attacking those that I loved. Fighting to protect them, being thwarted at every turn. Varro's blood staining my hands as I failed to save him. Waking in a cold sweat, tears covering my face, I sat up, sighing as fresh tears fell down my cheeks. I was okay with my fate. As long as Varro was alive and well it didn't matter if I died or not. Something that was as true before as it was now. I just wished that it wasn't so.

It was midday when a voice - that sent chills running down my spine - spoke for the first time since we'd been brought, "The beautiful Lea returns."

"Ashur." I said with disdain, gripping the bars. "I wouldn't come too close. There may be bars between us but that will not stop me from causing you harm."

"It is not you who I seek." He told me. "I've found something else I cherish more."

"You deserve nothing you receive. Except for death that follows you." I frowned at him.

"You've grown bold in your absence."

"I've always been this way. I am simply unafraid to show it now."

In one quick motion he was to the bars, his fingers wrapping around mine. "Perhaps I need to make an exception tonight. I've been inside your sister. It seems only fair to give you the same treatment."

"What?" I asked as my demeanor quickly deflated.

"Batiatus gave Naevia to him." Crixus told me. "It was this that gave our relationship away and caused her to be sent to the mines. He touched her and I could not bear it."

"Guards." Ashur said and stepped away from the bars. When two appeared he motioned to my cell. "Open the gate. I wish to borrow this one for a time." It seemed he now held standing for they did not hesitate to open the gate. Moving to the far corner, Ashur entered the cell, reaching toward me.

"Do not touch her!" Crixus exclaimed as he rammed against the bars. "I swear to you, Ashur, if you lay a finger on her I will end you!"

Ashur turned to him with a small smile on his face. "How? You're the one rotting in a cell while I lavish amongst the Romans. There is nothing you can do." With that he gripped my arm and dragged me from the cell.

"Release me!" I yelled. He obliged, letting go, causing me to go crashing to the ground, my back bouncing along the bars on the way down.

"Lea, run!" Crixus yelled.

Scrambling away from him, he swiftly moved to my side, pulling me back onto my feet with a hard jerk. "Ashur! Don't!" I yelled but he was already dragging me through the ludus, Crixus' yells still sounding from behind us.

One arm was firmly around my side while the other gripped my arm. I could feel the marks his fingers were leaving in my flesh. Dragging me to one of the champion cells, dread filled me as he threw me through the door. Moving as far away from him as possible, I held my arm out in front of me.

"Please, Ashur. Don't do this." I pleaded.

"I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. Naevia always held my interest but I have a thing for sisters." He told me as he stepped forward.

"Domina loved her." I frowned at him, gripping the edge of the bed, pulling myself to my feet.

"Yes, but she didn't have a choice. Neither did Naevia. She hardly fought as I lay atop her. My gift from our former Dominus." He told me as he stepped toward me.

Dominus had given him Naevia and he had had his way with her. The look on his face was telling me that I too would have to suffer Ashur's advances. Fear washed over me as if I was submerged in freezing water. He was going to take me to be just has he had taken Naevia. Knowing she had done it willingly to please her masters made my stomach turn. They hadn't deserved the loyalty we had shown them. Even when my resolve had started to wane.

Anger filled me and in the next moment I was rushing him, forcing him onto the bed. Straddling him, I continuously punched his face, pleasure filling me as blood started to run from his nose as his cheek and eye began to swell. Though in the next moment he was laughing, putting me off guard, taking advantage of the moment as he threw me off of him, landing hard on the ground. In one fluid movement he was standing in front of me, wiping the blood from his face. Swiftly getting back onto my feet, I stood ready to protect myself. Laughing harder he lunged at me, only I sidestepped him, spinning around him, facing his back. He looked over his shoulder with an amused smile.

"Have your fun, Ashur." I told him. "I'm prepared to do what I must."

He nodded and was about to lunge at me when a voice filled the air. "What is this?!" Glaber appeared in the doorway, a frown set on his face. "What do you think you are doing?" He asked Ashur.

"Apologies." Ashur told him. "I was simply taking some pleasure from our prisoners."

"That is not her purpose." He shot at the Syrian as he gripped my arm, pulling me toward him.

"Apologies." Ashur repeated with a bow of his head.

Glaber didn't reply, he simply pulled me from the room and started to lead me back across the training grounds. "Apologies." He told me with a hard voice. "I may hold no love for you or your kind yet I'd never allow Ashur to have his way with you."

"Gratitude." I told him with sincerity. I truly was grateful for him in this moment.

"You are to die in the arena, not by the hands of the Syrian." He told me as he returned me to my cell.

"And when will that be?" I asked him.

"Tomorrow." He replied before closing the door and disappearing.

"Lea, are you all right?" Crixus asked anxiously.

"Mildly bruised, nothing more." I told him.

"I feared the worst." He replied, sadness written across his face.

Smiling, I wished I could reach him, "He tried but I would not let him."

"Good." He smiled, pressing his face against the bars.

Tears sprang to my eyes as we looked at each other. Moving to the corner of my cell, I sat with my knees against my chest, my arms wrapped around myself as I leaned my head against the bars. I missed Varro. I missed him more than I could say. At least he would live. He would live to see the others to a better life. Only it wasn't just Varro that moved through my mind. Spartacus, Mira, Agron, Nasir, Caius, Felix, Antonia, Lucius, Otho…they all came to mind. Letting silent tears fall, I closed my eyes, remembering, knowing that I would never see them again.

A small measure of sleep found me, being woken early to a slamming door. Lifting my head, I jumped as I saw Lucretia looking at me with a raised brow through the bars. I could hear the steady sleeping of the men across from me. Getting to my feet, I stepped up to the bars, meeting the eyes of my former Domina. Without saying a word she unlocked the door and motioned for me to follow. Sighing, I stepped through, pausing to gently put my hand on Crixus' arm before following Lucretia. She led me up into the villa, walking the halls in silence. She led me to my old quarters, letting me linger as I remembered everything that had happened there. Picking up Naevia's pillow, I pressed it against my face, smiling as a faint scent of her filled my senses.

Putting it down, I looked at Lucretia, sighing as I tried to figure out what she was thinking, "Why am I here?"

"Because you were foolish enough to follow Spartacus." She told me with a raised brow.

"No, why am I here with you? Why take me from that cell?" She looked at me sadly. "Please tell me that you're not feeling guilty."

"I never wanted to sell you." She told me.

"Stop." I frowned at her. "I do not want to hear."

"I loved Crixus. I understand the love you have for Varro. You loved him and couldn't watch him die. You did something very brave."

"Stop." I said more forcefully. "Your words mean nothing to me. I was loyal to you. For years I was loyal and you sold me to a monster. I was raped and beaten and denied food and water because I couldn't bring myself to willing kiss him or fuck him." I paused, scoffing as I shook my head at her. "I am a free slave. I take no orders and I will die in the arena as a free slave. I don't have time to listen to the confessions of a Roman."

"Ever the stubborn one." She smiled at me.

"I prefer passionate." I told her with a tilt of my head. "I am passionate in my love for Varro. In the family I have created and the friendships that I hold. In everything I have built since I've gained my freedom."

"And in your words." She said still smiling.

"Take me back to my cell." I told her, moving past her, walking the familiar halls down into the ludus.

When the time came, we were taken from our cells, led out to the gates where we were once again chained and led from the grounds before being put into a waiting wagon. It would be odd to see it from the sand. I'd been watching the Games for years and yet had never thought of looking at it from a gladiator's perspective. Even as we drew near there was the roar of the crowd and the smell of blood in the air.

"Are you afraid?" Crixus asked me.

"Yes." I told him. "I don't want to die, Crixus. I haven't truly lived enough yet."

He nodded, wrapping his arm around me as he placed a kiss into my hair. Leaning into his touch, I felt comforted. Being alone, hungry and cold, had made me crave closeness. I longed for Varro but Crixus' arm felt strong, bringing a sense of safety.

"I love you." He told me, surprising me with his words. Leaning away from him, I saw color rise to his cheeks. "If we're going to die then I want you to know."

Smiling, I put my hand on the side of his face, placing a kiss against his cheek. "I love you too, brother."

Then the wagon stopped and the back was opened. "Everybody out." A guard commanded and we were led into arena.

The hallways were narrower than I had expected as we were led down to where they would prepare us and give us weapons. We had to make our deaths entertaining for those watching it. Watching as we screamed and yelled. Watching as we were cut, our blood spilling before we were killed. The thought of what I was about to go through made my stomach turn, bile rising in my throat.

Sitting on a bench to wait, rubbing my wrists where the chains were making them raw, all our wrists were still shackled. They were to remain so for the remainder of our lives. We could hear the crowds' cheers and the clashing of metal as we waited for the primus to be announced. Waiting here was far worse than waiting at the ludus. Closing my eyes, I could hear everything, even the sound of flesh tearing. It were as if I could already feel my flesh being cut, my limbs being severed from my body, my blood spilling in fountains before I finally left this world for good. It was hard to think I'd last more than a few minutes.

"You have to fight." Oenomaus told me, making me open my eyes. "You cannot give up."

"I wasn't going to." I told him.

"It's written all over your face." He stated.

"Are you going to fight?" I asked him. He gave one nod. "Good."

"You remember what I taught you?" He asked.

"It was a long time ago, Oenomaus." I frowned at him. "But I've been learning from a gladiator that joined me. I will be able to keep myself alive for at least a little while." Wrapping his arm around me, he placed a kiss against my temple. Tears sprang to my eyes, silent as they fell down my cheeks. "I wish I could see Varro again, just for a moment."

"I know." He told me softly. "If I could return you to him I would."

Resting my head against his shoulder, my fear grew with every passing moment. When they finally came for us, I wanted to be strong, knowing that if I were still with the others I would need to fight. But this felt different. We were to be killed by gladiators who had been trained in the art of delivering death. I'd seen Varro, Spartacus, and Crixus fight in the arena and they fought with passion and without pause to end their opponents' lives. Now we were going to be put in the arena with no way to escape. The end was near and yet I knew that I had to fight. I had to fight for as long as I could.

"Here." A guard told me as he put a sword in my hand. It felt heavier than the ones I'd held before it. I felt weak and scared. I had no skill in comparison to those I would be fighting. Even the soldiers could not win against a gladiator. There life was the sword and now they would use there's to end my life. Not only that, but my shackled wrists would hinder any movement I made. It seemed very unlikely that I would last very long.

"They give us swords absent fucking edge." Rhaskos frowned, making my stomach drop even further, bile rising in my throat.

Oenomaus looked out at the sands, "Absent hope of victory as well."

"Then let us prove them fools for giving us swords at all." Crixus told them, the only one still holding onto hope. "Stay close to me." Crixus said turning to me.

"I will." I said moving closer to him so our arms were touching.

He turned and looked at me, his expression hard and filled with worry. "Never leave my side."

"I won't." I told him, feeling more anxious than I had a moment ago.

Then the gate began to rise and we were all pushed through, forced to walk out onto the sands, the sun beating down on us. There was a heavy amount of red on the ground, making my stomach turn. Across from us, the other gate had been raised and the gladiators that were to execute us appeared. However my jaw dropped as I beheld the one leading them out. I knew his face well. I had known him for years before he was freed from his servitude. Gannicus.

"No." I said stopping, staring at the man who drew ever nearer to us, guards taking post on either side of the gate.

"Why would he do this?" Crixus asked looking up at Oenomaus.

"Because he's a man without honor."

"We at last face each other upon the sands…as Melitta always feared." Gannicus said to his friend before his eyes moved to me.

Meeting Gannicus's eyes, he was frowning heavily at me. Gripping the hilt of the sword harder, I looked up at Crixus, knowing that as long as I stayed with him I would survive for as long as he did.

"Lea." I heard Gannicus say, making me look at him.

"Gannicus." I replied airily.

"You rebelled?" He asked surprised.

"Yes." I nodded.

"But you loved our Domina."

"I love someone else more." I stated, feeling strength start to move through my body as I thought of Varro.

If he were here he would want me to be brave and would want me to fight as hard as I could for as long as I could. Hearing him tell me what I wanted to hear in my head, I felt strengthened, feeling as if I really could survive this. Thinking of all the times he told me he loved me; I pictured his smile and the blueness of his eyes. The curve of his back and the thick muscles of his arms. The curls of his hair tickling my chin as I held him against me. A smile crept across my face, the love of one man empowering me in a way that I never had been before.

"Have you found your courage?" Crixus smirked at me.

Looking up at him, I smiled wider. "I think I may actually enjoy this."

A smile grew across his face, one of determination, "We may make a gladiator out of you yet."

"And I will gladly learn." I replied. My smile faltered as Oenomaus stepped toward his former brother. "Oenomaus." I said gently, reaching for him.

Crixus gripped my arm, "Stay with me." Nodding at him, I watched Oenomaus carefully.

"Is it true? Did you lay with her the night she left this world?"

Gannicus' expression said all, "Oenomaus –"

Oenomaus immediately started the fight, bringing blow after blow down upon him. Staying at Crixus' side, everyone charged out like a wild beast, yells filling the air including my own. The first man that appeared before me was easily twice my size; his sword as well, moving to bring it down on top of me. Diving to the ground, I rolled myself to the side, still holding tight to the hilt of my sword. Practically bouncing back onto my feet, I swung my sword out, slashing upward, leaving a long gash in his back. Proud, I lingered a moment too long and he had swung back, pain searing across the open flesh of my chest. I had been far enough away that it was quite shallow, but blood still started to spill down my front.

Anger filled me and I lunged at him, bringing the sword down on top of him. He easily parried the blow, throwing me into the air as he pushed me away from him. Landing hard on my back, my sword was a hands width away and the gladiator was already bearing down upon me. But before he could end my life, a sword appeared through his chest, his blood splattering me before he fell to the ground, revealing Crixus behind him. He offered me his arm, helping me to my feet. Gripping my sword, I took in the sights around me. Seeing many things at once: Oenomaus fighting Gannicus, Rhaskos being killed by several of the enemy gladiators, Crixus taking hit after hit, attempting to give aid to his brother but there was nothing he could do.

Hearing a yell behind me, my eyes grew wide as I saw a gladiator rushing toward me. There wasn't enough time to yell for Crixus let alone anything else. Twisting my body, the sword lanced off my ribcage, spinning me in the air before I landed on my stomach. Picking up my sword, I turned onto my back, thrusting the sword up and into the belly of the gladiator. Blood spilled onto my stomach, his body thrashing momentarily before he grew still. When he was dead I realized how close it had been, his sword was in the sand just a fraction of an inch away from my abdomen. If he had succeeded we both would have died the same way. Allowing myself only a moment to feel, I hardened myself, rolling him off of me, pulling my sword free after getting to my feet.

Taking deep breaths, I felt a wave of relief as Crixus appeared at my side, moving me with him as he attacked another gladiator. There were more of them then there were of us, making more swarm to us. Crixus and I took blow after blow, more as he attempted to keep me from their grasp. Swinging my sword at anyone who neared us, they laughed as they looked at me. I'm sure I was a sight to see. My hair loose and unkempt, my dress bloody and torn, all the while flailing a sword in jerky movements in attempt to save my own skin and that of the gladiator behind me.

Swinging my sword, my wrist was grabbed and I was backhanded so hard my vision speckled as I crashed to the ground. Being pulled to my feet I was hit again, and again, and again as I was thrown from gladiator to gladiator. They were predators playing with their kill. Being thrown to the sand, my stomach and ribs were kicked before there was a small reprieve. Laughter filled my ears as I was flipped onto my back, hands gripping my throat. Looking up into the face of a gladiator, I could see the amusement on his face. He was enjoying this. Gasping for air that couldn't reach my lungs, I thought this was going to be the end of me. Seeing his sword next to us, I reached for it, my fingertips barely grazing the metal. With one final burst of energy, I shifted myself just enough to grip the metal in my hands, thrusting it into his stomach, gripping the hilt; I finished him as I ran the entire length of the metal through his flesh. His expression was one of surprise before he died, forcing his heavy form off of me. Getting to my feet, I pulled the sword free, wounding another before feeling a slash against my back, making me fall to my knees.

"I'm surprised by you." The gladiator told me as he bent down in front of me. "Women usually know no skill with a blade."

"I am not your ordinary woman." I glared at him, setting my jaw as I slammed my head into his. Momentarily dazed, I got up and slashed his throat before his shock could wear off.

Rushing to where Crixus was fighting, assisting in killing his assailant before we both stood panting. It was then that we realized something was happening. The roar of the crowd had become screams, the stands ablaze as a whole section caved in on itself, people disappearing from sight in a fiery blaze.

"What's happening?" I asked Crixus as he stopped to look, another gladiator defeated.

"I do not know." He said and returned to the task at hand as another gladiator came rushing toward us.

Staying close to his side, I watched his back as he fought, seeing the guards rushing out onto the sands. Several were coming in our direction, making fear start to creep into me. If it were one man I'd be able to defend myself, several would only lead to my death. But as they drew nearer, they removed their helmets, revealing Varro and Spartacus from underneath them, Agron not far off. A tangible wave of relief rushed through me, finding myself running to once again be reunited with the love of my life.

"Varro!" I yelled, dropping the sword before throwing myself into his open arms.

"You live." He smiled with his lips against my ear. "You live and are once again returned to my arms." I wanted to speak but emotion was constricting my throat, tears of joy already filling my eyes. "I love you. I love you more than anything."

Leaning far enough away, I put my forehead against his, taking a deep breath of him. "And I love you." I managed to choke out before he was kissing me.

It lasted only a moment before the yelling around us brought us back to the purpose we had yet to do. Handing me my sword, we rushed to where the others were fighting, assisting with dispatching the remaining guards and gladiators. It felt right to be fighting alongside Varro. I was not useless in a fight, even though there was much to learn. Once we were free of this place the training could truly begin. Not just for me but for all that desired to contribute.

Watching Varro kick the legs out from underneath a guard, I came up behind him, wrapping my arm around his head as he moved to his knees. Without pause, I slit his throat, watching the blood gush out of him before letting him fall to the sand. Hearing another coming behind me, I spun, slipping the sword into the vulnerable flesh of a guards shoulder. I hadn't aimed and it was pure luck when I saw the artery start to spurt. Another fallen guard. Turning to look at Varro, he held a proud smile on his face. Smiling back, I was about to go to him when my name was being screamed from somewhere in the arena. Turning my head, I saw Gannicus attempting to lift a pillar. He held a panicked look; one that I knew meant something unthinkable happened.

"Gannicus!" I yelled running to up him, Varro right behind me.

"Oenomaus is trapped!" He told me. "Help me free him!"

Without hesitation, I gripped the beam and together we managed to move it far enough to reach our friend. Slipping under the debris that covered him, I checked to see if he was alive, smiling when I found him breathing steadily. Varro and Gannicus lifted the pillar as I pulled Oenomaus free from the debris. The two gladiators supported his weight as we fled the burning arena.

"Spartacus!" I yelled when I noticed he wasn't with us.

"I'm here." He said appearing, gripping my arms before we ran after the others.

Moving into the bowels of the arena, we went to where they dealt with the dead, Mira standing in wait. When she beheld me, she gave a grin and a tight embrace. She motioned toward the water where Varro and Gannicus had disappeared, going under and through a grate that they had broken in through. Slipping into the water, despite what was lurking inside of it, the coolness of it felt wonderful against my heated body. Coming up on the other side, we swiftly retreated into the woods, not stopping till silence fell around us and the arena that once held so much death was in ruin behind us.


	9. The Fight Had Yet To End

_**Chapter Nine: The Fight Had Yet To End**_

The sound of the stream was calming, the sun starting to set as we made our way to the temple the rebels had made camp in. For the moment I was alone, the others resting a few yards from where I was. I had wanted a moment to try and relax, to try and wrap my head around what had happened. I felt weak both mentally and physically. It hurt to remember. It hurt to know what had happened or what could have happened. Sighing, I tried to push down the emotion that was fighting to come to the surface.

"I know you're there." I said softly, hearing a sigh as Varro appeared from behind me, sitting at my side. Wrapping his arm around me, he pulled me against his side. "Apologies." I told him sadly. "I simply needed a moment to reflect on everything that has happened without the prying eyes of the others."

"Understandable." He said kissing my shoulder.

Turning my head I looked at him with glistening eyes, taking his hand in mine. "I thought I was never going to see you again."

"I thought the same." He said softly as he moved my hair out of my face with his fingers. "I should be angry with you for what you did."

"You would have done the same." I told him with a small smile.

"Yes." He said kissing me sweetly. "Thinking you dead a second time was far worse than the first." He told me with a look of agony. Taking his head in my hands, I kissed him passionately, letting the taste of him linger in my mouth. "Never risk yourself that way again." He told me demandingly.

Putting my arm around his neck, I pressed myself against him. "I will do my best." I told him before kissing him again, running my fingers through his hair before placing my hand against his face, trailing my thumb across his bottom lip. "I cannot lose you."

"Lea," he said sadly, "I will not survive you dying."

"Nor I if you were to die. Nothing matters more to me than you." I told him. He furrowed his brows, making a soft noise, agreeing with me as he kissed me deeply. "If we are to die then let us die together in the heat of battle." I whispered with our foreheads touching.

"Agreed." He nodded and kissed me again. "We should tend to your wounds."

Nodding, he pulled my ratted dress over my head, his fingers gently moving up and down my body, gently touching my bruises and wounds before he waded into the water with me. Kneeling down, the water covered the bottom of my breasts; goosebumps rose across my skin even though the coolness of the water felt good. Varro's hands were gentle as they ran across my skin, cleaning my wounds as best as he could. Holding me tenderly, he dipped me back to clean the blood and dirt from my hair, face, and neck. Leaning me back up he looked closely at the state I was in, his fingers gently moving across the slash across my chest.

"We'll give you herbs when we return to stave off any infection." He told me.

"Okay." I smiled at him. It was nice to be taken care of. He bent down, looking at the wound on my side. I could feel the worry in the way he touched it. "Is it deep?"

"Yes." He told me. "It's still bleeding. We'll have to close it."

"With what?" I asked him. He remained silent. There were only two ways to close a wound such as this. With a needle and thread or with fire. "Varro." I said looking up at him with worry.

"Come." He said gently. "I cannot do this by myself."

Gently pulling me onto my feet he pressed me against his side as he led me from the stream. Helping me back into my dress, I was still shaking from the cold of the water and the blood loss that I was still experiencing. Wrapping his arms around me, we returned to the others. Varro sat me against a tree before rushing away to Spartacus. Worry filled me as I touched my wound, my fingers coming back red. My shaking intensified, being startled when Mira took my hands, wiping the blood from my fingers as she smiled at me.

"He's worried." I told her. "He's calm in his worry and that frightens me."

"He is worried." She told me. "But you could have cut your finger and he'd react the same."

"Mira." I said with furrowed brows. "I think this is a little more serious than that."

"It is, but he simply loves you more than words can describe." She stated as she looked at my side, her brows creasing as she frowned. "He's had to think you dead twice now. He cannot take it. He feels your pain as if it was his own."

"The same is for me." I told her, my eyes on Varro. He was speaking to Spartacus and Agron, a worried expression on his face. My stomach dropping when Varro and Spartacus started to move toward me, Agron kneeling on the ground starting to build a fire. "This is going to hurt isn't it?" I asked Spartacus as he bent down in front of me.

"Come with me." He smiled sweetly.

Taking his hand, pain erupted in my side as he and Varro helped me to my feet. Leading me to the fire that Agron had created, his sword already being heated in the flames. "No." I told them fighting against Varro and Spartacus' hold on me. "No! I can't. I can't let you do this." Memories of watching Crixus being burned flooded my mind, sending terror though my veins. The blood. The pain. The screaming. The smell…

"You have to." Spartacus told me. "Your wound needs to be sealed or you will eventually bleed to death or die of blood poisoning."

"No! I'm fine. Don't do this." I told him on the verge of hysterics. "I'm fine. I'll be fine." I said looking up at Varro. "It'll stop on its own. I don't need to be burned."

"It won't stop on its own, my love." He smiled sadly as he put his hand against my face.

"I can wait." I pleaded. "I can wait till we return and someone can help stitch it. I cannot handle being burned."

"Lea. Varro said with an air of frustration.

"I cannot handle being burned!" I yelled still fighting against them.

"Spartacus." Crixus said moving forward. "We will find another way."

"It needs to be done." Spartacus told him, holding up his arm to stop him.

"Lea –" Varro said gripping my arm.

"Varro, I cannot handle being burned!" I cried fighting harder, pulling myself free, falling to my stomach before struggling to get to my feet. Hands were on me, making me struggle even more. "Let me go!"

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop." Varro said as he turned me, pulling me against him.

"No!" I yelled as he pinned me against his chest. There was shouting at he put his hand against the back of my head, holding me tightly against him. I already felt weaker, his embrace painful. Slowly putting my arms around him, I calmed, coming to terms with what needed to be done. All eyes were on me; even Gannicus' who stood watching over Oenomaus. Crixus was pacing, agony written across his face as Spartacus stood in front of him as if a barrier between him and me. He knew what I was about to go through. Gripping Varro tighter, I shut my eyes, not wanting to see theirs staring at me. "I'm scared." I whispered to him, my shaking intensifying, mixing with his. "I'm scared, Varro."

"I know." He said running his hand down the back of my head. "But it needs to be done." Leaning away from him, he took my head in his hands, kissing me deeply. "Come." Nodding at him, he led me back to where the others waited, looking at me with pained expressions.

"Lea." Crixus said gripping my hand, the other gently pressing against my face. Tears slid down my cheeks as I forced a smile for him, my shaking giving away how afraid I was as I covered his hand with mine. "You will be all right."

"Crixus." I said gripping him, silently pleading with him to help me get out of this.

"Lea." Varro said running his hand down my hair.

"The same had to be done for Nasir." Mira told me. "He lives because we sealed his wound."

"I understand the reason for it." I told her with a frown, tears running from my eyes. "It's the pain that I'm going to have trouble with."

"I'm right here." Varro told me as he once again pulled me against his side, pressing his face into my hair.

"Come." Spartacus said holding his hand out to me.

Nodding, I took it, lying on the ground next to the fire. Agron's sword was already red, waiting to be pressed against my skin. Varro knelt at my head, putting a stick in my mouth before putting his hands on the sides of my head. Mira took my hand, holding it tightly as Spartacus put one hand firmly on my shoulder, the other low on my abdomen, keeping plenty of room for the sword to meet flesh.

"You will be all right." Crixus said taking my other hand. "I will not leave your side."

"We'll be as quick as we can." Spartacus told me. Nodding at him, I took a shuddering breath, squeezing the hands that held mine as I prepared to bite down on the wood in my mouth. "Try and hold still."

Varro put his forehead against mine, "I love you." Letting go of Mira's hand, I reached my hand up, putting it on the back of his neck. "You're going to be fine." Scoffing, I let out a short laugh, making him grin and laugh at me. "Now you're going to be strong?" He smirked at me. Shrugging, he laughed again, rubbing his thumbs back and forth across my temples as he placed a kiss against my forehead.

"Here we go." Agron said as he moved to my wounded side.

Gripping Mira's hand again, I took several deep breaths. Thinking I had prepared myself enough to handle what was about to happen, I found that I was terribly mistaken. When the metal touched my skin, I couldn't help but writhe with pain, an agonized scream pushing past the stick in my mouth. Squeezing Crixus' and Mira's hands, I felt Crixus' other hand press down on my shoulder as Spartacus put all his weight into holding me down, Mira helping as her hand found my other shoulder. Tears were streaming from the corners of my eyes as I screamed and fought. Varro put his face next to mine, trying to calm me with shushing sounds and soft words. All the while I attempted to move away from the pain that was literally searing my flesh. Though Spartacus was true to his word, for it was over far quicker than I had anticipated. Agron put his hand on my chest as I started to slow my struggling, panting from the pain and exertion.

"It's okay. It's over." He was telling me softly.

Varro removed the stick from my mouth. I could taste blood at the corners, small abrasions formed from the force of my bite. "Oh god." I said as I took deep breaths.

"It's over." Varro told me as he wrapped me in his arms. "I've got you. It's all over now. You're going to be fine."

Looking at my side, the skin was red and enflamed but was no longer bleeding. They had succeeded, though the pain had intensified to such a degree that my head started to spin, looking up at Varro before everything fell away.

Waking to movement, I found myself cradled against Varro's chest, my head resting against his shoulder, my face against his neck. Taking a deep breath, the smell of him flooded my senses, waking me further. Slowly wrapping my arms around him, my hand moving to the nape of his neck, he stopped, relaxing as he rested his head against mine.

"You're awake." He said with relief.

"I am." I smiled, kissing his cheek. Leaning away, I put my hand on his face, staring into his blue eyes as I kissed him sweetly.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"Better." I told him. "Weak, but better. Still cold."

He smiled and kissed me again. "Don't worry, I've got you."

"Then I cannot be safer." I said rubbing his cheek, my arm tightening around his neck as I kissed him again.

"Lea." Mira said appearing at my side, her hands on my arm.

"Mira." I smiled at her. Spartacus stepped up and put his hand against my face. "Spartacus."

"You look like hell." He smirked.

Laughing, I nodded at him as I put my hand on his forearm. "I feel like it too."

"Agron sealed it nicely." Mira told me. "You're going to be fine."

Looking at Agron, he gave me a small smile and a subtle nod. "Gratitude." I told him, emotion filling my voice. "Truly." He nodded again. "Varro, I think I can walk." I told my love.

"Do not fear, I've got you." He told me, his grip gently tightening.

"We've been walking for hours." Mira stated. "I'll help her. You could use the rest."

"I've got her." He frowned at her.

Smiling, I nodded at her, looking back at Varro. "I promise not to make you worry so much in the future."

"I'd appreciate that." He said with his beautiful half smile.

"You must do the same." I said with my lips brushing his. He simply made a noise, moving to press his lips against mine, only to have me lean away from him. "Promise me."

He met my eyes, sighing, "I promise."

"Gratitude." I smiled and kissed him passionately, my tongue running along his.

"Come on you two, let's keep moving." Spartacus smiled at us.

"Apologies." I told him, a blush rising in my cheeks.

"None needed." He said putting his arm around Mira.

Once again on the move, when the temple finally came into sight, I took a deep breath of relief. I was exhausted, every inch of my body aching, and a chill still gripped me despite the warmth of Varro's chest. Varro placed a reassuring kiss against my hair, letting me take in the sight of safety, before we moved forward again. Moving through the entryway, we went around to the front of the temple where small fires from several groups were lit. Oenomaus was taken into the temple to be tended to, Spartacus and Gannicus accompanying him. Varro sat me on the steps of the temple next to a large fire at the entrance. He placed a kiss against my hair before he rushed off.

"Lea." Agron said kneeling in front of me, putting his hand against my cheek before frowning, "You're burning up."

"That's funny since I can't seem to shake the chill from the stream." I smiled at him.

He put the back of his fingers against my forehead. "I think it's more than that."

"I've got her." Varro said reappearing, putting a blanket around my shoulders. Wrapping it all the way around me, he pressed me against his side, warming me on one side while the fire warmed my other.

Agron nodded, but looked at me worriedly. "She's formed a fever. Take good care of her."

"I will." Varro told him, watching him as he walked away. Leaning into his side, he gently rubbed my arm. "How are you feeling?" He asked with his lips against my hair.

"Much better now that I'm in your arms." I smiled, relaxing against him.

"You feel warmer." He told me.

"I'm cold." I said nestling as close to him as I could.

"You'll be fine." He said though worry had returned to his voice. Starting to shiver again, he cleared his throat. "What happened? Where were you?" He asked in an attempt to distract as well as to fill his curiosity.

"Home." I told him sadly.

"Batiatus's villa?" He frowned.

"Yes. Glaber is there with his wife and army. Ashur and Lucretia are there as well."

"Ashur." He said with disdain.

"He's the same as he has always been. If it weren't for Lucretia and Glaber I would have suffered unbearably as I did with Paulus." I told him.

"That will never happen again." He told me matter-of-factly, cradling my head against his chest.

"Lea!" I heard Caius's voice before he, Antonia, and Felix all rushed up to me.

"I am fine." I told them, attempting to sit straight so I could embrace them in turn. It took more energy than I had thought it would. I was starting to feel poorly. "Everything is fine." I told Antonia as she cried into my shoulder.

"We thought you dead." Felix stated sadly.

"I'm not so easily killed." I smiled putting my hand on his face.

"The others will be pleased." Caius told me. "I don't think they care for me as much as they do for you."

"I'm leaving you in charge until I recover further. They will understand." I told him.

"Of course." He nodded. "I'm sure they'd like to hear from you."

"Hear what?" I frowned. "That I was imprisoned and nearly executed? There is nothing that needs to be said right now. Keep them organized and make sure they're pulling their weight with the rest of the group. I need to rest." He simply nodded and left me. Sighing heavily, the other two embraced me once more before they too took their leave. Looking at Varro, I couldn't help the sad expression that crossed my face. "I'm tired."

Kissing my forehead, he helped me to my feet. Slowly moving forward, he surprised me by scooping me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest. Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing me as he returned my smile. Resting my head against his he carried me inside, taking me to a small room. There was a light in one corner, our small amount of belongings along one wall. Taking the blanket from around me, he stripped me of my dress, pulling another from his bag, helping me into it, wrapping the blanket around me again before laying me on the blankets that were on the floor. Rolling onto my side, I curled into myself, cold and tired. Lying behind me Varro pulled me against him, his body forming around mine, warmth starting to fill me as he took my chill away. Shutting my eyes, I took a deep calming breath, relaxing as I laced my fingers with Varro's, holding his arm against my chest, my head resting comfortably on his bicep.

"I love you." He whispered as he buried his face in my hair.

"I love you." I whispered back before sleep took me.

When I woke, I felt as if I had lost control of my body. My shaking was so intense that I couldn't move from the ball that I found myself in. My eyes nearly refused to open but when they did everything seemed out of focus. There were voices in the background but I couldn't make out what they were saying, my breathing loud in my ears. A hand gently touched my shoulder, feeling like fire despite the chill I had. Fingers ran through my hair and Varro's voice whispered into my ear, his lips pressing against my neck.

"Varro." I managed to choke out, my eyes threatening to roll back into my head.

"I'm here." He said rushing around me so he could meet my eyes. "I'm right here; you're going to be fine."

"I'm cold." I told him as tears streamed from my eyes, attempting to put my hand on his face, only managing the tips of my fingers. "I'm so cold." Black specs started to dance across my vision. A tear sliding down Varro's cheek was the last thing I saw.

* * *

><p>There was little in his life that he was afraid of losing. He had had a normal Roman childhood, raised by loving parents, fell in love, got married, and made a family. He did what all were supposed to do. Only despite what he had, he had wanted more, settling for gambling to pass the time, the excitement of it continuously drawing him in. The possibility of winning or losing. But it had only been coin he had lost. At first it seemed like he had lost too little to be of import. Then his loses had grown to an extent he had never dreamed of, jeopardizing the wellbeing of his family. A family he loved and adored. His gambling had driven him to take the last resort to get out from under the debts he owed, volunteering himself to be trained and used as a gladiator. In two years he would have earned enough to pay his debts and he would be reunited with loving wife and precious son.<p>

Only the unexpected happened. He met a woman in the house he was serving in. She was fair skinned, with doe eyes that were the color of the fresh leaves in the spring. Her long brown hair fell in waves, beautiful even when she did nothing with it. Her touch felt as if it had healing powers. Her gentleness unmatched yet she held such strength that was rarely seen in a woman of her station. He had noticed her immediately. The way her hips moved when she walked. The way the corners of her eyes wrinkled when she smiled. There was something about her that made him always look twice. Though he hid it well for he was loyal to his wife. She meant the world to him and he would never betray her. Or so he had thought.

Many days passed and the more he saw her, the more contact he had with her, he found himself longing for one more look, one more touch so he could remember her. There were moments where he hated himself for wanting to be near her. He had a wife who was waiting for him, yet she wasn't here. She wasn't here and there was someone else that filled him with excitement and longing the same as his wife did, if not more. He didn't ask for it and he didn't want to feel for another the way he felt for his wife. Yet here she was, constantly smiling at him as if he were all she could see. Every time she touched him he could see in her face that she was memorizing him. She was obvious in her feelings despite trying to hide it while he concealed his feelings for her with far better success. His feelings toward her shouldn't exist and he never intended on acting on them.

However, it was inevitable. She took care of him every time he was injured. She had managed to get herself put in the Medicus's chambers, assisting as often as she could. Many times she had cleaned and tended his wounds, her stitching impeccable, taking her time to make sure it was perfect. Something he had a feeling she did only for him, all the while she'd say things she shouldn't, making the fire he had for her rise. At some point it was bound to boil over.

He remembered every moment of the first night they shared together. Only it wasn't sex that they had shared. It was simply words. Nothing but talk filled the space between them, the occasional kiss when the talking died down, only to have their mouths refueled and their talk would continue. It wasn't her body that he craved most. It was her mind. The sound of her voice. The feel of her touch and the way she looked at him as if he were Jupiter himself. She was unlike any woman he had ever met. She was sure of herself yet was a cherished slave. She spoke words that made him feel drunk from their power. He didn't know anyone could speak like that. She could have her will every time she opened her mouth. Only she understood that he had a family and she tried her hardest to keep her distance, making sure that he remained loyal to his wife.

Every day the task grew harder and harder. Then his wife came to see him, telling him she had been forced upon and was now with child. At the time it had been a brutal betrayal. Something he hadn't seen coming and had taken the news quite poorly. At the same time he was angry with his wife, hating her, it was as if one door had closed and another had opened. He could finally have the woman he had been craving since his arrival. There was nothing stopping him from giving her what she wanted. From giving himself what he wanted. He wanted her. Thinking of her made his wife fall away from his mind and she alone encompassed his thoughts. She questioned him heavily on his state of mind. She didn't want to be used because of what his wife had done to him. She didn't want to be second simply because he was angry with his wife. She wanted him. She wanted all of him and in that moment so did he. She was all he could think of and she surpassed his expectations when they lay together for the first time. It was as if his cock was meant for her cunt and hers alone. He had never fit so well with a woman. Nothing was more perfect then the moment they became one, pleasure making their skin tingle, a love blossoming that neither knew could exist.

Though she still had her reservations. She was afraid that he would seek redemption from his wife. Despite his attempts at reassuring her, she had been right. In the end he had sought redemption. He loved his wife and did not wish to throw away everything they had shared. They had a son that he loved dearly and he wanted to make things right for the sake of his son if not his own. He had made promises and he wasn't one to break them. Though he had fallen in love with the salve woman. She meant the world to him. More than he had ever thought possible. It was a different kind of love than the love he had for his wife. It felt stronger in some ways, but he knew that he had to try and make amends with his wife. He owed it to her. He owed it to their son. There was a moment when he thought his wife and son were dead. Blood found in their empty home. For a moment his mind had been lost. Only it wasn't just in worry for his wife and son but the fact that the slave he loved had rejected him. She willingly sacrificed her own happiness by telling him to be with his wife and son. She wanted him but knew that he wanted to attempt to be the husband that his wife needed him to be. Despite his feelings for her she knew that his wife still held a part of him. The size of it unknown to both. Wishing to save them both pain, she told him that what they had shared was over. This more than the fact that his family may be dead affected him the most. He was worried for his family yet the sting of losing both women was enough to drive him mad.

He had yet to make amends with the woman he loved when his wife was found and brought to the ludus. His heart had soared at the sight of her, embracing her and sharing affections that husband and wife should. What he did not know was that he was being watched. Hurting the person he never intended to. He had spoken with his wife, reminiscing about the past and what the future held. As they spoke, he couldn't help but think of the one he would be leaving behind. Realizing that he couldn't. The love for his wife was waning and the love for the slave was growing. He realized that living without her was impossible, yet he still wanted to stay true to his wife. He was torn in two. Two women. Two lives. He couldn't have both. He knew that he would have to make a choice. That fact weighing on him heavily. He had gone to seek guidance from Spartacus only to find the slave there with red eyes, pain written across her face and in the way she held herself. She had seen him and now there was little he could do to make her see that he wanted to be with her. He wanted her with him and yet how could he be with her while his wife was still alive and well?

He thought she would never forgive him for returning to his wife, even though she understood why he did it. Even though she had wanted him to be with his wife. This was the pain she had wanted to spare him and herself. He knew he had hurt her and wanted to make amends. Wanted to feel her lips against his, her touch against his skin, her voice as she whispered in his ear. He wanted all of her but he had ruined it when he sought out his wife. He truly was torn in two. However, he didn't have to wait to make amends. The actions of a young boy made it clear to him of her feelings for him. He was set against Spartacus in exhibition only the match turned deadly when Spartacus was ordered to end his life. The Bringer of Rain hesitated, unwilling to kill his friend, but the guards were closing in and he was given no choice. But before Spartacus could end his life, the slave girl rushed forward, knocking him out of harm's way, taking his place before the crowd. In that moment she had doomed herself and yet showed him what he meant to her. They were both whipped, she more than him, before she was sold to a monstrous man. A grief like he had never known took hold of him. Seeing the state she was in, the look on her face, the way her lips formed 'I love you' before she was taken from his sight…it was all more than he could bear. He had screamed his agony for what felt like hours, denying the Medicus from tending his wounds, feeling guilty for not being whipped at horribly as she was. The image of her blood running down her back, her screams ripping the sky apart, her tears drenching her cheeks and the ground as she hung her head in defeat, haunting him. He tried to remember her smile and the way she laughed when he squeezed her sides. Not wanting to see her in pain whenever he shut his eyes. That first night after she was gone he vowed that he would not rest until he found her and freed her. It didn't matter if he was still in servitude. He would put all his winnings toward freeing her from the horrible place they had sent her to. He didn't want to imagine what was happening to her in his absence, wanting nothing more than to protect her from harm. Spartacus attempted to ease his mind but there was nothing that could be done. He was in agony over losing her and he would have her back. No matter the cost.

Even after everything that had happened, another surprise yet awaited him. His wife had left their son with her bother, coming to the house Batiatus. She had given herself to the house in order to work off his debt at a faster rate. She had been told of what had happened. Told of the slave girl that had caught his eye, leading to her feeling jealous and possessive of her husband. He had tried to be the husband she knew and loved. But he was no longer the same man that he had been before he came to the ludus. He had changed and had fallen in love with another woman. One that he still intended on finding and freeing. Though he still tried to make his wife happy. They spoke, laughed, and made love as they always did. She was pleased with him. As pleased as she always had been. He was not. He realized that he no longer held the same feelings for his wife as he had before coming to this place. His heart belonged to another. He was going mad with worry at what was happening to her. Not knowing was far worse than he had anticipated. His wife sensed that something was amiss, trying twice as hard to make things right with him. She had rid herself of the child she had been carrying, unable to stand the memory of what happened. Thinking it was the reason of her husband's indifference she had tried and tried hard to be what he wanted. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he loved another.

When Spartacus started his rebellion there was only one thought on his mind. Now he would be free to find the woman he loved. He would free her and they would be together. When the day came that they were once again reunited he would be forced to tell his wife. He would send her to be with their son. He would not be able to follow until the rebellion was over, not knowing how long that would be. He loved his son and still wished to be in his life. The boy would have two mothers. Two that would love him unconditionally for he knew that the slave woman would love him as her own. Her heart was bigger than any he had seen. He would give her as many children as she wanted. He would give her the world if he could. He'd give anything to have her once again in his arms.

He started his search immediately only to find that as a rebel, information was hard to come by. He had to be careful whenever he moved from their latest place of safety. He could trust no one and the ones that he needed to speak to he couldn't risk being seen by. Relying on whispers he looked high and low for her. Praying to the Gods that he found her soon and safe. If anything happened to her he would never forgive himself. If he had simply denied all her advances she would still have been at the ludus and would be with them now as a rebel. He repeatedly went over everything in his mind. Creating scenarios for the best and worst outcome and what could have happened if they had never been together. He drove himself mad with worry. All the while his wife was by his side, wondering where he went at night while even the great Spartacus lay sleeping. Weeks went on this way until he finally convinced her that she should return to their son. He was in need of his mother and there was nothing she could do for the rebellion. He wished to see her safe and knew that the only way for her to remain that way was to send her to her brother's home. Spartacus sent a gladiator with her as protection. He knew that he couldn't accompany her. He couldn't spare the time wasted on taking her there and coming back. He had to find the slave. He needed her in every way a person can be needed.

Saying goodbye to his wife had been difficult. He hated seeing her cry and she seemed unable to stop with her arms wrapped around him. It was bittersweet. But as soon as she was out of sight he felt even surer that he had done the right thing. Delving into his search twice as hard, he felt like he was getting closer to her. He would find her soon and they would be together for the rest of their lives. Only before that could happen, tragedy struck. While in town seeking information with Spartacus, they stopped to hear Glaber speak. His wife and Lucretia nearby, their former Domina had survived, much to the horror of Crixus. Glaber spoke of captured rebels and soon his wife was brought before the crowd. She was beaten within an inch of her life. Seeing her in such a state sent him into a frenzy, rushing forward to rescue her. As soon as she was in his arms he retreated back to the sewers that they called home. He attempted to tend to her wounds but there was nothing that could be done. The only thing he could do was make her as comfortable as he could and hold her until the inevitable happened. She died in his arms. Her last thoughts were of their son in hopes that he stayed safe. After she was gone he couldn't help but mourn her. She was his wife and he had loved her. The loss he felt was great, holding her for hours until Spartacus and Mira coaxed her from his arms. They laid her to rest with all the others they had lost. He spoke highly of her while their friends stood by, grieving her as tears slid down his cheeks. They left him alone to mourn her, knowing that he would need a moment to process. Only it wasn't just grief that filled him. A heavy guilt moved over him. He had been so eager to send her away so he could find and be with another woman. It never occurred to him that something would happen to her. There was always a risk but he never thought it would happen to his wife. She was so delicate. Too delicate for the life of a rebel. He had wanted to save her but it was for his own reasons. He did this. This was his fault.

It was days before he finally moved from the corner he had put himself in. He needed to find his love. With her everything would seem better. She would hold him and tell him she loved him. She'd apologize for his wife and try and not allow him to make light of it. He would miss his wife but he knew an even stronger love that was waiting for him. He would not let her down. He would not fail her as he had failed his wife. She was waiting for him to find her. She would wait for him for as long as it took. Or so he thought.

When the day came that he finally got word of his love it was the happiest day of his life. He told Spartacus where she was and they were on the road immediately. Agron, Crixus, and a handful of other gladiators accompanied them as they raced to save her. Only when they arrived all they found were bodies, pools of blood on the floor and spattered on the walls. After a thorough search of the house they did not find her. She wasn't there and by looking at the state of the house it would be a miracle if she survived. All had told him that she was gone. That there was no chance of her surviving a massacre such as this. He didn't want to believe. But there was no word of any survivors being seen or heard of. They were dead. All of them. Because of the love she held for him she was punished and sold to a monster, _killed_ because of it. He had once again been the cause of the death of the woman he loved. This one he could not take. This one hit him like he'd been stabbed through the chest. He had fallen to his knees; screaming for her till his throat was raw and he could hardly keep his eyes open. The others had to pull him from the house, supporting him all the way back to where they were hiding. Having lost all will to eat or drink he sat in the corner of where they were staying, not caring if he simply withered away into nothing. He had nothing left to live for. All purpose was gone. Even Spartacus' cause could not bring back from his despair. Nothing would ever make him feel the same again. He would never love again.

Then the unthinkable happened. Lying in the farthest room of a villa they had just taken, he was woken by a familiar touch. A voice he knew better than his own. The touch he had longed for. Lips moving against his in a euphoric way. Opening his eyes he met those of the woman he loved. The slave he had fallen for was here, looking more radiant than he'd ever seen. Her smile made warmth flow through him. He could have cried at the sight of her if he hadn't wanted to kiss her so badly. They were reunited. He didn't think it possible but here she was in all her beauty. They made love, laughed, and talked for hours. It was as if they hadn't missed a second with each other.

She took care of him from the moment she returned. She meant everything to him and he knew the he meant everything to her. You don't throw yourself under a sword if you don't love the person you're doing it for. However there were complications with her return. She was not alone. She brought people with her, including the man who had saved her. He was a young Roman who she had met previously. He had eyes for her since the moment he saw her. Even though she was devoted to him and him alone, he couldn't help but feel jealous toward the Roman. It put a strain between them and in the end he opened his mouth and said the wrong thing, hurting her when he had just gotten her back. Then the mines happened. He had been at her side until Spartacus sent him down a different path. He knew his brothers intentions. If he had stayed with her then he would only be concerned with her wellbeing. Separate, they both would look after themselves and those around them. Then the Romans found them and they had to fight their way out. He was terrified to think of what was happening with her. He hated that she wasn't at his side. Moving as quickly as possible, he killed all Romans in his path, finding the others at the back gate, his love on her back with a Roman looming over her. Shoving the soldier off of her, he rushed to her aid, killing him despite her readiness to do so. When the soldier fell away and she saw him she immediately smiled, laughing with happiness to see him. He had beamed back at her, feeling the same, only to have her smile disappear, rushing toward him, yanking him past her so quickly he didn't know what was happening. Turning, he saw the sword in her side, Spartacus' name leaving her lips, hands already on his arms, pulling him away from her. The woman he loved, in all her perfection, put herself in harm's way to save his life for a second time. Only she was captured because of it. She was once again taken from him. The agony he felt was intensified as she yelled for him to go, knowing full well that she was not going with him. He was pulled away from her, a gate being locked between them, a sword at her throat. The agony of having to leave her again was more than he could bear. He fought against Spartacus. For it was him that tore him away from her. He would have stayed and fought for her. The last image he saw of her was her smile despite the steel that was at her throat. He was afraid for her. He was afraid of losing her again. He wouldn't survive it if she died. He needed her. He needed her so badly.

After assuming the worst, they heard whispers of those that were captured. Those that were set to be executed in the primus of the Games. She was one of them. This was his moment to rescue her. He had failed to save her the first time. He would not fail again. They planned until they were ready and they went to the arena and when the primus started Mira was set to put fire to the support beams and as the fire spread they would save their people. He would save _her._ He would never fail her again. No matter what happened, or where they were taken, he would never fail her again.

He had vowed to never fail her again and yet here he was, failing her. He had saved her from the arena but now she was at death's door. Shaking wracked her form without reprieve. Her skin burned and yet she was freezing. Her breaths quick and shallow, pausing every so often, making his chest clench, waiting for her to take another. She was fading. The last words she had spoken to him were of how cold she was. The last time she spoke to him it was with fear and sadness. She was slipping away from him and there was nothing he could do about it. They had cleaned her wound. It was sealed shut and whatever was inside of her had nowhere to go. He couldn't lose her now. After everything they've been through he couldn't lose her. He knew that she didn't want to lose him. She would hang on for him. He was right here with her and she knew that. She would hold on and pull through because she loved him. She loved him more than anyone could love a person. And he loved her that much and more. So he would lay next to her, keeping her warm, waiting for her fever to break. When she pulled through this he would be here waiting for her, trailing his fingers up and down her arm, pressing his lips against her skin. She would wake up to him holding her, making her feel safe. But in order for that to happen she had to wake up. Her fever had to break and she had to open her eyes. Even now he lay behind her, pressing his body against her back, whispering in her ear that everything will be okay and telling her how much he loved her. She would wake up. She would come back to him. She loved him.


	10. Sanctuary

_**Chapter Ten: Sanctuary**_

My mind was plagued with nightmares that I just couldn't seem to wake from. I felt as if I was stuck inside myself, unable to find the way out. I dreamt of Paulus and Ashur. They took turns attacking me, attempting to rape me in any way they could. Fighting back, every time I thought I got the upper hand they would force me down, beating me into submission. All the while I heard Varro's voice in my head, repeating 'I love you' over and over and over again. Soon all sound fell away except for his voice. Then there was searing pain, a sword in my stomach, and I now lay in the middle of a battlefield. Looking around I saw all my family and friends dead on the ground. The sound of fighting still raging around me. Blood ran freely from me, making me feel weak and afraid. Jumping as a body dropped next to me and I turned my head to see Varro. His eyes clouded as he looked at me with an endless stare, blood running from the corner of his mouth. Reaching out to him, I screamed my agony.

I was still screaming when my eyes shot open, the sound of it an echo in my head. Shaking racked my form. I was still in a ball, my side aching with a pain that was almost unbearable. Shifting, I suppressed a yell, managing to roll onto my back, stretching out. It hurt beyond measure but it was a pain that was pleasurable. Varro's arm lay across my abdomen, putting my hand on it before looking at him. He looked pale, the rims of his eyes red, his brows furrowed as he slept. Feeling weak, I slowly lifted my hand up, trailing the back of my fingers across his cheek. He slowly opened his eyes and met mine. Smiling at him, I ran my fingers across his lips, looking at them before meeting his eyes. The blueness of them seemed diminished. Sad. In the next second he was sobbing, making my heart break. Not caring about the pain, I rolled onto my side, wrapping my arms around him, pulling him against my chest. He wrapped me in his arms, holding me tightly as he sobbed into my neck. Running my hand down the back of his head, I silently cried with him, telling him that everything was going to be all right. Though it seemed my words brought a new wave of tears from him. The sound of him was heartbreaking. I had seen him cry but the sobs that were coming from him now were unbearable.

"I love you." I told him, gripping his hair. "I love you. Everything is going to be okay." His grip on me tightened. "Varro, my love, everything is okay." His sobs intensified. "Speak to me." I told him as my throat started to tighten with my own sobs.

His sobs slowed, his hands moving up and down my back, my neck slick with his tears. "I thought I was going to lose you." He told me with a shuddering breath.

"I'm right here." I smiled as I kissed his neck. "I'm right here, my love. I'm not going anywhere."

"You're sick." He whispered. "I was so afraid that you were going to slip away."

"You can't get rid of me so easily." I smiled trying to ease his pain, though my shaking took away from my words.

"You're everything to me." He said leaning away just far enough to meet my eyes.

"And you're everything to me." I smiled kissing him sweetly. "I'm going to be okay."

"Now that you're awake." He said running his hand down my hair. A sob escaped his throat as he stared at me.

"You're breaking my heart." I told him with furrowed brows as I wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Please don't cry."

He nodded, though more tears fell, "I love you."

Smiling, I kissed him deeply, "And I love you."

Resting my head against his chest, I couldn't help the exhaustion that came over me. I would be all right but there was still much resting that needed to be done. Shutting my eyes, I fell asleep to him running his hand down my hair, his fingers trailing up and down my spine.

The next time I woke I felt more alert and all shaking had subsided. I was drenched in sweat, meaning my fever had broken, and I finally felt warm. Varro's arms were still wrapped around me tightly. Unable to sleep any more, I put my hand against his face, kissing him deeply. It took only a moment for him to start to kiss me back, making me grin as I kissed him repeatedly.

"You seem better." He told me when I finally pulled away, resting my hand on his face, running my thumb across his bottom lip, smiling as I watched him speak. "Your shaking is gone and you no longer burn."

"Not with fever." I smiled at him. "I burn with my need for you."

He laughed; the sound music to my ears, "I think we should wait until you've fully recovered."

Sighing, I nodded and kissed him. "You're a smart man."

"I simply know you well." He smiled pulling me so I was flush against his body.

"Better than anyone." I smiled before placing a long kiss against his chest.

Placing one of his own against my forehead, I felt him relax, "Just as you know me."

For a moment I just looked at him, running my fingers through his hair, across his face, neck, chest and arms. Anywhere I could reach. But I knew there were things to discuss. There was no time to simply bask in his presence. Even though that was all I truly needed. Him.

"Now then, I think it is time you tell me what has happened in my absence." I told him gently. He furrowed his brows, kissing me gently and deeply before he nodded at me, running his fingers through my hair.

Taking the time to tell me what I'd missed, it was hard to hear that I'd been asleep for three days. Oenomaus was going to be fine and my family had been lining up to see me before I passed from this world. Varro had been adamant that no one enter without his permission. Mira and Spartacus, as well as Naevia and Crixus, were allowed in, no one else was granted entrance. He hadn't wanted anyone to see me in such a state. I thanked him for that. I woke up once and that was enough for me to know that I looked like I wasn't going to survive.

"But I'm all right." I told him when he finally stopped talking, running my fingers through his hair.

"For a time I did not think it so." He said sadly.

Sighing, I kissed him quickly when I noticed the tears returning to his eyes. "Feel that?" I asked with my lips against his. He made a soft noise, kissing me sweetly. "I am right here and I am well. I am never going to leave you." He nodded, kissing me again. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes." He said running his hand down my hair.

For a moment everything was right in the world, but then I remembered the reason that it I had not kissed him before the mines, how I did not lay at his side the night before, or how I thought I was going to die knowing that I hadn't made amends with him. "Please forgive me, Varro." I told him as tears filled my eyes.

"For what?" He frowned at me.

"For being angry with you." I replied with a pained expression.

Smiling, he ran his fingers down my face, shaking his head, "There is no need for forgiveness. It's already forgotten."

"It shouldn't be." I frowned.

"Why not?" He frowned harder with concern.

"I never asked you what you were feeling. I simply reacted defensively because of my memories of that place. You don't understand what it was like but I never asked you what you were feeling."

"Ask me now." He said gently.

"What are you feeling about everything that's happened?" I asked.

He sighed, taking a deep breath as ran his fingers across my arm. "I am jealous of Caius. He found you and saved you when it should have been me. I should have been there for you. I tried so hard to find you and he swooped in and took you in his arms right from under me. I'm afraid that he holds a part of you that is no longer mine. I'm afraid that after everything that's happened to you that you are different and I don't know what to say or do anymore." He said and paused. Kissing him sweetly, I stayed silent, waiting for him to go on. "I am constantly afraid that something is going to happen to you. I should be strong and be fighting along Spartacus but I have trouble leaving your side for even a moment. I want to be here for you in every way that I can. I have become more fragile than a newborn babe." He said with annoyance. "In the end I fear that it is I who has changed. I am the one who is no longer the same. I spent so much time lost in grief that I haven't been there for Spartacus like I should have been. I know I should be more present in the rebellion but my only concern is you. Keeping you alive and safe and with me." He said sitting up, a deep frown on his face. Slowly sitting up next to him, putting my weight on my arm, I put my hand on his thigh, meeting his eyes. "Now you are a leader of the people and I am the inferior one. There is so much to take in that I know not what to do. I support you and your decisions and yet follow Spartacus." He said with an air of confusion. "I am lost."

"You are not lost." I finally spoke. "Varro, I follow Spartacus just as you do. No decision I make is different from his. And you know how I feel about leading. I don't want it. But they do, which makes it difficult when it's thirty some to one." He smiled, taking my hand, our fingers playing with each other before they laced together. "As for the rest of it…you are no different now than you were under Batiatus. I am no different than I was then either. I am stronger then I used to be. I've experienced more and have grown with each experience, but I'm no different. The same can be said for you." I told him and slowly shifted myself so I was sitting in his lap, letting him support all my weight, the energy making me feel weak. "You hold all of me, Varro. No other person dead or alive holds more of me than you. Caius is nothing to me compared to you. None of them are. You too are my only concern. I have responsibilities now that I didn't before but they mean little to me in comparison to you. You must know this. You are most precious to me. I would die for you in an instant where any of them are dispensable in my eyes. I would be sad if I lost any but if I lost you I'd be following the moment after. You have no reason to feel jealous or not of worth. You are the most worthy man I have ever met. You deserve so much more than what this world has given you."

"Lies." He said with a frown, gaining one from me as well. "This world gave me you." Smiling, I kissed him deeply. "I will attempt to be more pleasant to your people."

"No." I told him with a shake of my head. "Simply be you."

"And you as well."

"No matter what happens, Varro. I am yours and only yours. Heart, body, and soul. Nothing you say or do will ever change that. We will argue, and not see eye to eye on everything, but even when I am the angriest at you I will still love you more than anyone else ever could." He nodded and kissed me passionately. "I love you."

"I love you." He said and kissed me again, gently rolling me onto my back, cradling me in his strong arms as we continued to kiss.

"Now, no more of this serious talk." I told him matter-of-factly when our lips finally parted. "It's time I get up and move around. I am also in need of food and water."

"Are you sure you're up to it?" He asked with furrowed brows.

"Help me up." I told him.

He did as he was told, steadying me as I threatened to fall back to the ground. "See? It's too soon to be up and moving." He told me sternly as he put his hands on my arms.

"It was but a moment of dizziness, nothing more." I smiled at him.

Sighing, he wrapped his arm tightly around my waist, keeping me steady, holding my hand in the other so I could transfer as much of my weight as I needed to him. Moving from the room, it was only moment before a wave of whispers filled the air as the news passed from person to person all through the temple. It took only a few minutes for running to be heard and Mira and Naevia appeared around a corner, Crixus and Spartacus close behind them. Tears sprung to my eyes as I beamed at them, opening my arms as they rushed to me. Varro only let go when their arms were around me, holding me in place as we laughed and hugged each other.

"You are well." Naevia said as she took my face in her hands.

"As are you." I replied doing the same. "We're together again."

"All of us." Mira said placing a quick kiss against both our cheeks. "Our family is whole again."

"Lea." Spartacus said softly.

My sisters released me, keeping me steady as the Bringer of Rain stepped up to me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I couldn't hold back the tears that fell against his shoulder. Running my hand down the back of his head, I laughed, releasing him so I could meet his eyes.

"It is good to see you." I told him.

"You gave us quite a scare." He stated as he ran he hand down the side of my head.

"I hope it's the last."

"As do we all." Crixus said as he stepped up to me, putting his hand on my back.

"Crixus." I beamed, crying further as I wrapped my arms around him, sighing against his neck. His grip was tighter than the others, making my wounds start to pulse with pain. Ignoring it, I hugged him just as tightly, feeling more bonded with him after the days past. "Are you well?"

"I am." He smiled kissing my cheek as we released each other.

"Gratitude for everything you did for me." I smiled at him. "You kept me alive."

"We kept each other alive." He replied kissing my forehead before wrapping me in his arms again. Sighing against him, I felt safer than I ever had before.

Letting him go again, Varro was at my side, both men leading me to the courtyard where food and water would be found. Sitting me on the steps, Varro sat with me while Spartacus was kind enough to fetch me something to eat and drink. All the while I felt fingers against my shoulders as people greeted me. Most were my own and it seemed many came to settle in my vicinity. Caius, Antonia, and Felix were close by but it seemed they were keeping their distance for now. I felt a small amount of guilt for not being more involved with them but I couldn't help it. I was far more concerned with Varro and the others to give it more than a passing thought. Perhaps if I ignored them enough they'd release their hold on me, leaving me to be with my love and leading our group of rebels on their own. More now than ever, I did not want to lead these people. I was not fit to lead. If I left Caius in charge long enough perhaps they'd see that and simply follow him. I did not want it and would do what I had to do to make it so.

"I'm getting tired." I told Varro as I leaned against his side. My stomach was full and my thirst had been quenched. "All these eyes on me…" I said looking at everyone.

"Let's return to our room." He smiled at me. Nodding at him, he was about to help me up when Caius came forward. "She's not up for any more talk."

"I must break words with her." He told my love.

"What is it, Caius?" I asked him with a small voice. "I'm tired, so speak quickly."

"What do you plan on doing once you recover?" He asked.

"Whatever Spartacus needs me to do." I told him.

"You'll follow him blindly?" He asked with furrowed brows.

"I'll follow him to whatever end." I frowned as I got to my feet on my own, feeling horribly unstable but managing to keep my balance. "You knew my intentions the moment you rescued me. Take charge of your people and do what you think is best."

"Our people." He frowned harder.

"No." I told him. "I do not want to lead them. I am not fit to be a leader."

"They won't listen to me." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Make them." I told him coldly. "Varro." I said softly, looking at him, he was smiling up at me. Standing, he wrapped his arm around me, leading me back to our room. My mouth dropped slightly when I noticed a bed sitting in the middle of it. "What's this?"

"I don't know." He smiled.

"We wanted you to be comfortable." Naevia told me as she stepped into view.

"Gratitude." I beamed at her.

"Anything for you." She smiled kissing my cheek as she took my hands in hers.

"Gratitude." I repeated with heavy emotion.

"Rest. Everything will seem better tomorrow." She smiled, putting her hand on Varro's arm before taking her leave.

Looking at the bed, I stepped up to it, running my hand along it before smiling up at Varro. He kissed me deeply before crawling onto the bed, doing the same, lying on my good side, facing him with a broad smile. It was extremely comfortable, so much so that I felt twice as drowsy now that I was lying in it.

"You look happy." Varro commented.

"I am happy." I smiled. "I'm with you."

"Do you think Caius will be able to convince the others not to follow you?" He asked.

"I don't know." I said furrowing my brows. "I hope so. I do not wish to lead those people. My only wish it to remain at your side and help Spartacus fight the Romans. I do not want people looking to me for answers. I am no leader."

"I think you could lead them if you wanted to. You're capable enough."

"I'm not capable of anything. I've nearly died thrice since I've been with them. How am I to lead when I can hardly take care of myself?"

"You can take care of yourself. It's when you're protecting others that trouble finds you."

"I do not want to talk about this." I told him irritably.

"Okay." He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Rest."

Nodding with an exasperated sigh, I shut my eyes, nestling closer to his chest. I had hoped for a good night's sleep; however the same nightmares that had plagued me while I was burning with fever once again plagued my mind. Sitting, I turned and looked at Varro. He was sleeping soundly. Taking a deep shuddering breath, I tried to calm myself. Shaking racked my form, only this time it was a cold sweat that brought it on. Shutting my eyes, stray tears slid from their corners as I tilted my head back, taking a deep breath. Lying back down, I looked at Varro, resting my hand against his face. He had put so much time into taking care of me he hadn't been taking care of himself. He was exhausted. Smiling at I watched him sleep, I pressed a kiss against his forehead, gently running my fingers through his hair and down his chest. Closing my eyes, I attempted to fall back asleep but it was no use. Every time I shut my eyes I saw Paulus and Ashur and Varro's dead body. These dreams would do me in if I couldn't forget about them. I needed to put what happened to me in the past. But how was I supposed to do that? Frowning, I placed a gentle kiss against his lips, pulling our blanket further up his body to stave off any chill, before I stood up.

Moving from the room, I slowly walked through the temple, hearing crackling fires and hushed voices. When I reached the room Oenomaus was in, I saw Gannicus sleeping in a chair next to him. Stepping inside, I took Oenomaus's hand, squeezing it as I placed a gentle kiss against his forehead. Running my hand along the smoothness of his head, I placed another kiss before I moved from the room, gently touching Gannicus's shoulder in the process. Moving toward the entrance to the temple I saw Spartacus moving through the crowds of rebels, ever the sentinel. The sky was still dark, telling me that I hadn't slept as long as I had hoped.

Seeing me moving toward him, Spartacus smiled, opening his arms to me. "Lea."

"Spartacus." I smiled, wrapping my arms around him.

"You should be resting." He stated keeping one arm around me as we started to walk again.

"I've been having nightmares." I replied briefly resting my head against his shoulder.

"You're safe here." He told me, kissing my forehead. "You're home."

"I am." I smiled up at him. "And I am very happy to be home."

"Crixus told me about where you were. He said Ashur came for you." He said with a hard tone.

"He didn't hurt me. I wouldn't let him." I told him matter-of-factly.

"Good." He said squeezing me tighter. "Your road has not been easy. I'm happy you're recovering well. I would be lost without you."

"You would be fine." I told him with a raised brow. "It would have been more fuel for the hatred you have for Rome."

"That is true." He smirked at me. "But I don't need another reason to do what I am."

"I know." I nodded gently rubbing his back. "I want my death to hold meaning. I will not allow it to happen until that time comes."

"It will never come." He said placing a kiss into my hair. "You and Varro will survive to see the end of this war and you will make a home and a family. Most importantly, you will live to see old age and die happy after a lifetime of love that none can touch."

Smiling, I put my hand on his face, kissing his cheek. "You'll be there with us."

He didn't reply. He simply rubbed my arm, pulling me tighter against his side as we continued to walk. Taking my leave of him, I passed where Naevia and Crixus lay sleeping. His arms were wrapped around her in loving embrace, tight and possessive. I knew that nothing would ever harm her again. He would never allow it. Missing Varro after mere minutes apart from him, I returned to our room, smiling as looked at him. His hand rested on the spot where I had been laying. Returning to my place at his side, I gently moved against him, making him subconsciously wrap his arm around me. Smiling, I rested my head on his arm, staring at him. He was the most beautiful man I have ever seen. No one would ever be as beautiful as him. Resting my hand on his face, I kissed him gently, unable to help myself. For a moment I couldn't help but think of how fortunate I was to have a man that loved me as much as he did. Despite how we had started, there was no one I could love more in this life or in any other.

When morning came I found myself alone. The blanket now pulled up to my shoulders to stave off any chill in his absence. Though nothing was as warm as Varro's body against mine. Smiling, I ran my hand along the empty space that he had occupied. I wasn't sure how long I slept but this time I felt wonderful. My body was free of pain and my mind was quiet from all heavy thoughts. Sitting up, I listened to the sounds of the temple. Many voices could be heard, telling me that the house was awake. Standing, I kept the blanket wrapped around me as I made my way from the room, passing many as I went to find Varro, nodding as they did the same to me.

"Morning." Antonia said handing me a glass of water.

"Morning." I smiled at her.

"You look as if more sleep is needed." She commented.

"Nightmares came to me again last night." I told her.

"Paulus?" She asked. Still smiling, I nodded at her. "He's dead. We're safer than we have ever been."

"Yes. But can you honestly tell me that you never see his face when you close your eyes?" I asked her with furrowed brows.

"No." She said smiling as she took my hand. "But I choose to forget him and all he did. We have a better life than we ever hoped to have before."

"Yes we do." I smiled at her. "Come, let's get breakfast."

The remainder of the previous days kill was already being cooked over a fire. Platters of fruits and vegetables were set out, people lining up to take a portion. Doing the same, I spoke casually with Antonia and Vita, Felix joining us with another man introducing him to me as Aelius. Standing at the sidelines, eating and talking, I saw Caius across the courtyard talking to an enticing blond. Antonia told me her name was Chadara who was continuously seeking to elevate herself by laying with any high stationed gladiator in our ranks. Caius was a Roman of note who turned on his people. He still had much to give and a pretty face seeking him in ways that he craved would be very enticing to him.

"You almost look jealous." Vita grinned.

Scoffing, I shook my head at her, adding my plate to the stack that had already started to grow. Antonia laughed at her, "Then you've never seen her with Varro." She said nudging me. "She's madly in love with him it's almost unbearable."

"I cannot help it. I've found the one I'm meant to be with." I smiled though a burning blush filled my cheeks.

"Is he handsome?" A voice said from behind me.

Smiling, I turned to see Varro beaming down at me. "Very."

"Does he have a good sense of humor?"

"He thinks he does." I smirked at him.

"Then he must at least be good in bed." He said putting his hands on my hips.

"He makes me feel alive in ways that cannot be described." I told him softly, leaning against him. Taking my head in his hands he kissed me deeply, receiving a scoff from Vita.

Antonia laughed, "See? Almost unbearable."

Laughing with her, I wrapped my arm around Varro, "I simply can't help myself."

We all laughed, the sound foreign and yet wonderful to hear. There wasn't enough laughter in our lives. Something I hoped would change now that we were all together again. Sitting around a small fire, we all talked, learning more about each other than we had known before. Naevia and Mira joined us for a time before their men distracted them and they were soon on the move again. Varro was open to the people I'd brought with me, making a wave of relief flow through me. Sitting between his legs, leaning against his chest, I felt content. More content then I'd ever been. I had the love of my life and was surrounded by family and friends. Not one person could ask for a better life.

The only drawback was the fact that we were being hunted. The Romans would never leave us alone. They would always be searching for us. They would always be out for our blood just as much as we were out for theirs. Only we were smarter. We had the element of surprise. They had no idea where we were and finding out their next move was easier than they thought. They moved in mass numbers where we were few enough to slip away without a trace.

Happily running my fingers up and down Varro's arm that was wrapped around me, I smiled at my friends. Antonia was quick to tell them of my antics with Paulus, avoiding all the negative aspects, keeping it light. Though Varro's fingers started moving across my side every time Paulus's name was mentioned, telling me that he was still struggling with what happened. I was moving past it, he would be able to do the same, even if more time was needed. Distraction followed as I saw Gannicus appear at the top of the steps. He held a jug of wine in one hand, a frown on his face. Getting to my feet, I ran my hand down Varro's face before walking toward the famed gladiator.

"Hello." I smiled at him.

"Hello." He grinned back, wrapping his arm around me. "You look well."

"I feel well. How do you fare?" He simply nodded at me, taking a drink of the wine. "Gannicus." I said stepping in front of him, putting my hand on his chest. "Please tell me how you are. It's been a long time."

He looked at me for a long moment before he replied, "I am well."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"How is Oenomaus?"

"He will be fine." He replied.

"Yet he still hasn't woken?"

"He will soon." Nodding, I wanted to say something more to him but he was the first to break the silence. "Spartacus has asked that I stay."

"What answer did you give?" I asked with curiosity.

"I am a free man. This is not my fight." He stated.

"It can be." I told him with furrowed brows. "A man with your skill would be very coveted amongst us. You may be more skilled than Spartacus himself."

"No." He told me with a smile. "He is a very skilled gladiator. He will do right by all those who follow him."

"And you won't?"

"I am not a leader."

"Neither am I." I stated. "Yet I have those who refuse to follow anyone else."

"Apologies." He grinned.

Laughing lightly, I wrapped my arms around him. "I am happy you're here and would wish for you to stay."

"Lea." He frowned gently pulling me away from him. "I do not wish to start a war. I am free."

"We are all free." I frowned back at him.

"It's not the same." He said turning back inside the temple.

"Gannicus." I said with a hard tone but he continued to walk. "Gannicus!" I called louder but he simply ignored me.

"Is everything all right?" Caius asked as he stepped up to me.

"Why do you men have to be so difficult?" I frowned at him before walking into the temple, veering off in the opposite direction as Gannicus.

Pacing the halls, I came across Crixus sitting alone in his and Naevia's room. I was going to pass him by when I noticed the expression on his face. It was sad and distant. Stepping inside the room, I took tentative steps toward him.

"Crixus?" I said gently.

He didn't even look at me. "Lea."

Sitting on the edge of the bed next to him, I folded one leg underneath me so I could face him, and slowly took his hand. Smiling at him, I leaned forward, gently running my fingers through his hair. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing you need concern yourself with." He told me, still not meeting my eyes.

"Crixus, look at me." I said gently.

"No." He said with a hard tone.

"Look at me."

"If I do, all my secrets will slip out."

"Look. At. Me." Finally turning his head, his eyes met mine, a sadness in them that made my heart break. "Now then, tell me what is wrong."

"It's Naevia." He said softly.

"What of her? Is she all right? Did something happen?" I asked quickly.

"Her body is sound. It's her mind that carries the wound." He told me.

"In what way?" I frowned.

"She wasn't as strong as you."

"Speak plainly."

"She too was abused. Only it wasn't just by one man. She was moved from villa to villa, raped numerous times at each house. Her mind is broken. She can no longer find comfort in my affections. They've taken everything from her." He told me with despair.

Tears were in my eyes as I looked at him. Moving closer to him, I wrapped my arms around him, running my hand down the back of his head. He slowly wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. Soon I felt his tears fall against my skin. He loved her more than anything and now he had to suffer from the abuse she endured while apart from him. I knew what she felt. I knew what thoughts went through her mind. It was not an easy thing to overcome. It would take time for her to become the girl we knew before. That was if she still was that girl. It would be understandable for her to change after everything she had been through. It took all of me to hold on to who I was and she had been through much more than I had.

Holding him tightly, I put my hand on his neck, running my other up his arm and across his shoulders. He continued to cry, leaving me to whisper comforts in his ear in hopes that he would hear me. When his tears stopped, I continued to gently rub him comfortingly until he leaned away from me. Smiling, I took his face in my hands, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"Gratitude." He told me with a quiet voice.

"Naevia will be all right. She just needs some time to adjust." I told him softly. He nodded at me. "I promise you that she will be the woman you love for she loves you above all others." He nodded again. "Tell me you believe me." I said with furrowed brows.

"I do." He told me with a small smile. "I do believe you."

"Good." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"And I love you." He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Lea?" Naevia said coming into the room.

Standing, I stepped up to her, taking her hands in mine, "Walk with me."

Nodding, she hooked her arm through mine before we left the room. Walking to a quieter part of the temple, I tried to think of what I wanted to say to her. Unsure of how far to go and yet wanted to know everything she was thinking. I couldn't help her if I didn't know the whole story.

"Voice your thoughts." Naevia smiled at me.

"I was going to ask that of you."

"I am all right, Lea." She told me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"I do not believe you." I told her with furrowed brows. "Naevia, tell me what you are feeling. The people who love you are worried for you."

"I can't." She told me without her smile faltering. "It would be as if I were reliving it if I say it out loud." Understanding moved across my face. "I've been told that you experienced something similar. Don't make me tell you everything I've been through."

"Then simply tell me what I can do to help you. Crixus is concerned and so am I." I replied gently.

"There is nothing neither you nor Crixus can do." She smiled as she gently shook her head.

"There must be something." I said squeezing her hands.

"Time." She stated. "Time is what I need. Time will heal the wounds I've suffered. And in time I will be able to be a whole person again. Though I fear I will never be that same girl that you grew up with."

"I don't need you to be that girl." I smiled as I gently shook my head. "All I need is for you to be alive and well. Everything else can wait. You know I am here for you for whatever you need no matter what it may be."

"I do know that." She nodded returning my smile, this time it reached her eyes.

"All right then." I smiled, embracing her. "I love you, sister. I could not be happier to have you once again at my side."

"I love you too." She said, her embrace tightening into a vice grip, making a small noise escape me. "Apologies." She said releasing me.

"None needed." I told her, linking our arms again, once again on the move.

Walking in silence, I let her work through whatever thoughts were in her mind, hoping that she would finally speak. I wanted her to be able to tell me anything, no matter what it was. I would support her and would never judge her for anything she had to do since we were parted. None of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was that we were all together again. We were nearly back to her room when she started to speak, making me turn down a different hall, ready to take another long walk around the temple.

"How did you overcome what happened to you?" She asked.

Taking a moment to think about her question, knowing there was only one answer, I gently rubbed her arm, "Varro." She looked at me expecting me to say more. "I wish I could say more but I cannot. The memories of Varro and what we have kept me alive. Despite the things that were being done to me, I managed to find a place in my mind where I could make it just me and Varro. It was always just me and him. Even when I felt my body failing, when Paulus would come calling after only a small reprieve, I would think of Varro and for a moment everything would be as it should be."

"You can't hold on to an illusion like that forever." She stated.

"No." I said shaking my head. "I couldn't keep the illusion. I was going to give up and let myself die. I'd rather have died then endure one more rape from Paulus. But it never came. Caius saved me before he could come to me again. I was swept up and put into a fine home with fine healers and given all the fine things that Rome has to offer." I told her and paused. "But I never felt at home. I never felt like I belonged. I missed Varro. I missed you and Crixus, Spartacus and Mira, even Agron. I missed my family. So I set myself to the task of finding you. It took me longer than I had anticipated but I found my family. I found you." I smiled gently moving a strand of hair from her face. "And now we will make our stand with Spartacus. We will hurt the Romans as much as they have hurt us over the years. We will come out triumphant and then we will make a life with our men. We will marry them and start a family. We can build houses side by side and raise our children together. Spartacus and Mira as well. We will live full and happy lives."

She smiled at me though there was sadness in her eyes. "I fear you may dream too big."

"No, I dream just big enough."


End file.
